Those voices

Never have I seen anything I could not explain,maybe a few kin folks from Alabama have confused me,but in general all has been easy to cifer.

No ghost,demons with horns,UFO's,loud talkers from north Alabama that get on your nerves,nothing,maybe a few UFO's but do we have to talk about them?

Things heard is a different story.

Those things that go bump into the night.Things you hope are just your brain working over time.

Those things.The scary things.Things that could be real.

Scary things I know.

I'm sane enough to put the weird and crazy stuff away putting them in a box outta the reach of those not stable.

I have heard the dark side a few times.This doesn't have to mean crazy stuff but things that go on in real but strange life.

Examples.

Several times voices have been heard.The most disturbing was Momma calling my name in the darkness of a room.Never answer those people or what they really are she would always tell me.

Voices calling somebody you can't see but hear them walking down a long hall in woman high heels.I even look but no one was there.

I had a eye witness to this one.This was an old farm like  house where I was living at the time.One night I was awaken by a group of people doing what I thought was praying but it wasn't praying but  I call chanting.My witness heard them also.

This happened daily for a long time.Each afternoon someone having their after supper pipe smoke would fill the room with sweet wonder smoke.They are missed.

There are more,all true,but I had to save room for those Alabama folks and their UFO tales.

And Happy Halloween to you!

Always something

As Roseanne Rosannadanna would say on Saturday Night Live"it's always something".

I know the feeling.

Please bare with me even though you have heard my story before,maybe too many times.

Food.

Yes food.I will try making this quick as possible.

I have a serious problem going on here.

Food turns me off!

Momma said that food is just one of lives little pleasures.She was so right.

Yes it's true,this ain't no April Fool joke,all food,or the side effects of medicine have killed my desire for food.Once I would crave the foods I like,burgers,fries,on and on.Comfort food but honest it just gags me thinking of it.

I hope soon I will get back to my love of food.It's not fun.

James Brown said...

I feel good.

Today is October 26th and about two months I've been taking a break from the blog.Nothing amazing to write about but a few things have passed by my plate in the recent past.

I was dying...

ICU for four months and two days of it I just knew my fife was over.

Scared and miserable...

That's what I was.Double pneumonia they called it.I won't get into the details but I was in pretty bad shape for awhile.

I had a lot of things going in my body but the worse thing was shortness of breath.For two days I could not get my breath.Relief came only after long needles where used for draining fluid from my lungs.Thank God for Doctors and Nurses who have their hands touched that can do things like this and know how to treat people.

Gasping for air I admit scared I was.

I hope it never happens again but if it does please Lord let my suffering be quick not as Jesus had to endure on the cross.

Yum

Seen this morning...a fat boy's dream...truckload of McDonalds french fries!

Highwaymen

I'll be back again and again and again ...

Mouth waters

Daddy I'm thinking about how good it would be having a hamburger cooked by you right now.

Big slice of sweet onion,mustard and catsup,home fries and a big dill pickle on the side,your way of cooking a burger.

Now for the secret way you made them.

Take the buns and dip them in the grease when they are ready to eat.

My mouth waters thinking of one.

Pink tasty stuff

It's pink,tasty and goes down smooth like melted ice cream.

Raspberry sherbet.

I started my own little experiment with food the other day.Thursday it was because that's the day that delicious food item is served at supper.

Do you know that when it's melted it looks and taste just like Pepto Bismol?Yeah that medicine used for upset stomach and such.I had the such part of the problem if you get my drift.

The experiment.

Last Thursday I decided to forgo the beefy cheesy mac and just have the raspberry sherbet.

I have had better than good results with that combo and decided it was the Thursday supper time beef cheesy mac that had to go.

But in the end I have been wrong...again.

About 4 am the world was turning over and over like in the soap opera "as the world turns"...sick I was.

So another food experiment goes by the way side.

Beefy cheesy mac was not the culprit.

Warning...that pink medicine tasty stuff did not help at all it just added to my problem.

Part of my soul

What you or anyone else may say I don't care!

Try taking away the respect I have for this man will be a waste of time.

Jacob Haynes my Great Great Grand Pa.

He lost a leg at Vicksburg during the civil war where he was taken prisoner.

That alone reserves respect.

Now comes uninformed people black and white who want to tarnish the memory of soldiers who fought for what ever reason.Remove any trace that they ever lived.

It will not work.

My Great Great Grandpa will always be part of my living soul.You or anybody can't take my feelings away.

Devils Advocate

Being the Devils Advocate.

When things are not going the way you would have them or another point of view.

The opposite.

An example.When people act in a way that disturb you because they know better and I just want to tell them that they are a being first class you know whats.

The way some treat others.

What about those who use caustic words towards those who are powerless how do you think they feel,how would you feel?

No I won't go into details but really you know who you are.Don't you feel ashamed the may you treat people who depend on you for what ever reason and being slack in your job is a way of life?

Maybe I should stop now before I say what needs to be said.

Burger

A hamburger has always been my favorite food.

Comfort food you might say.Add crinkle cut fries and I was in blissful Heaven just add a little ice cold Co Cola and the world is good far as I'm concerned.

Come Sundays I have changed my mind.

Three weeks out of the month for our evening Sunday meal hamburgers are served.

No onion,maybe a dill pickle,lucky if get a slice of cheese,mustard and ketchup maybe and round it out with what is called baby bakers which are small baked potatoes.

I want a Big Mac or Whopper with fries or a Krystal with a bowl of chilli a couple of Big Bufords from Checkers loaded with bacon would be wonderful.

Please no more of these Twin Fountain Sunday delights.

Missing

Where have all the lighting bugs gone?

Sounds good

Lately food hasn't tasted good to me.

Maybe it's the food.Maybe it's something going on with my body.Maybe it's just the food is not to my liking.

But this item of food does sound good.

A hamburger steak cooked like Momma would,with homemade brown gravy loaded with chipped raw onions, crinkle cut fries and some brown and serve rolls.

I can't live on buttermilk and cornbread alone.

The joke

Tales from Hotel California.

Listen if you will and tales of our lives I shall divulge.Tales that will shock you,tales that will make you cry,the happy and outrageous,and tales that just make you wonder.

Join the lives of us,the old,the disabled,your sick and just plain out tired,those who have been left alone and forgotten by those who say they care and love you.

Hotel California I loving call this place of tears,a place where the majority of us will end our days.A place where we never thought being alone at the mercy of others to care for us meeting the basic needs of life.

But life has a cruel joke to play on some of us.

Never did we want any part of this joke.

When I'm sixty four

Yay!

It's my Birthday.

I made it to 63.

If I'm not careful I will be an old guy one day.

Freedom

There is an advantage being alone.

Sure I miss people in my life but dwelling on it serves no purpose.

Freedom is just a word for nothing else to loose the song said.And lot in my life has been lost.

And there is a sort of freedom I live.No one left to mourn for,none left to worry about,freedom in a strange way.

Know it well

I dream of the past.

There is a certain spot,on a certain road,in a certain town were history seems to come alive for me.

Every since I was a boy this place seems like time stands still,for a second I know I'm reliving me life.

Deja Vu.

Tall red clay hills,green trees,dusty roads,the season is summer.

This I know well.

The feeling

The feeling.

I'm sure everyone has had this feeling one time or another in their life.

The feeling that something is going to happen.A feeling so strong it can't be ignored.A feeling of dread.

Out of the blue mine came unexpected without warning.No time to think,no time to worry,no time to hide.

Like all things in life you can only deal with it.

The thrill is gone

Things have changed in the last year for me.

Take writing for example…the fun has gone.

No longer do  I rush each morning to get that story or idea started.Now if I do have an idea to write about soon my story gets lost in the train of thought.

Fact is I have lost interest.

As B.B. King said…the thrill is gone!

My Sweet Lord

Controversy!

Have you noticed whats going on with our food?

Look on your meal ticket tell me what is different.Look closely,do you see anything?

No not extra carrots,not more zucchini or squash,that awful beef with rice with gravy sprinkled with hidden mushrooms is still on the menu,chicken hasn't disappeared,chicken legs and that mumbo jumbo laced with carrots is still here.

What may you ask is out of the ordinary?

Milk!!!

Milk is missing from our menu.No skim,fat free,2%,or sweet milk and My Sweet Lord help us no buttermilk with our cornbread.

Milk has disappeared.It's not listed on our tea,coffee or juice menu.

Inquiring minds wonder what happened.

Life without milk and cornbread think about it!

M&M's

What a sweet dream Mr.James my roomie had last night.

Seems his dream was about working at a food distributor place.He worked all night packing boxes of M&M candy.

Mr.James don't forget me in your dreams.

I'm partial to chocolate peanut M&M's.

Reflections of my life

I had to fight back tears.

Please Lord don' let me end up this way.

A little gray haired lady cruised up next to me with tears in her eyes asking if I knew where her Momma and Daddy are.

I could only hold her hand as I thought about my Momma and the mental pain she suffered crying nightly for her Momma and Poppa.

Perfect

Thanks kitchen staff.

That big hot bowl of black eye peas and perfect cornbread made my day!

Hot coffee and cold eggs

A cup of hot coffee, Folgers please, would be nice right now,none of that reheated stuff.

While I'm griping about things how does warm eggs sound for breakfast?

Skipped super again last night,just couldn't face another meal like brown rice with beef and mushrooms and zucchini with that slimy vegetable combo.

A few other things peeved me off yesterday but wont go into details.

I know,I'm a whiner.

Hope your day is good!

Monday Monday

Don't think it could get worse.

It just did.

The lunch menu is steamed carrots,green bean casserole(I THINK)and pork with gravy.

Plus the cable is out,last time the bill wasn't payed.

Monday Monday!

Mad as hell

Like in the movie Network I'm also"mad as hell and not going to take it anymore".

Food that is not good is what I'm talking about.Hospital food.

Maybe it's my taste buds,maybe it's cause old age has changed me,maybe it's cause the food is just bad.

Whatever the reason is something has got to change.

My breakfast is excellent no complains but it's the only prepared cooked on premises meal we residents get,lunch and supper are well different.

I'm hard pressed finding one meal from the hospital that is appetizing.Many days I skip lunch and supper because the food is just bad.Buttermilk with cornbread or a fried egg sandwich from the kitchen or just a cup of coffee gets me through the bad food days.

Example of a supper we had recently was a baked hard fish patty,a handful of cold curly fries and two small rock hard hush puppies.Carrots are plentiful here,one meal was steamed carrots,peas and carrots mixture and with a chicken pasta dish with you guessed it,carrots hid under the pasta.

Please don't even get me started on chicken.

When food is thrown way because it's unappetizing is a shame.Good tasting food just makes better sense even if it cost more in the long run.

Much deserved

I will whip you on the spot.

Those words ringed in head.62 years old and never have I forgotten Daddy's promise.He would have done it and maybe those words kept me in line as a kid.

That Momma in Baltimore who gave her son a much needed on the spot whipping in public reminds me of Daddy.

Respect is one thing he taught me.And the fear of that whooping in public.

You know I thank God for having a Daddy that cared enough for me he would do that.

Many times that love was needed....and much deserved. 

Okay with it

Raining.

Raining all over the world.

Least that is the way it seems.

And I'm okay with it.

Better ways to spend my time

Those Cartwright boys.

Ben,Adam,Hoss and Little Joe.

Lately they have been just a bit uppity for my taste.When did Adam get so mean and Hoss turn into such a big bully?Little Joe is now a womanizer preying on older lonely rich women.Ben I find hard disliking.The man has bad luck with women.3 times a widow raising those boys with only Hop Sing as help bless his heart.

Stop right there.

I changed my mind.A story about the Cartwright's doesn't interest me now.

There are better things to discuss.

Like listening to crickets on a summer's night.

Elders acting badly

Elders acting badly.

Before I start the guilty shall remain just that guilty.

Yesterday all heck broke loose about supper time here at Hotel California.It was a code 3 in in prison talk,mayday,SOS,you get the picture,things where getting out of control.

I first noticed things were getting bad when Ms A rolled onto scene screaming at the top of her lungs HELP!

Ms A just likes screaming HELP! any chance she gets day or night.Refreshing your memory,she was the Lady who for no reason poured icy cold water on my head(at all times know where she is and never turn your back on her).

Then comes Jack who has by this time gotten fed up with Ms A proclaiming he would put an end to this foolishness.Careful when Jack is driving, toes will be sacrificed,I know this first hand(or is it first toes).

By this time Frankie P has entered the picture playing bumper cars when folks won't give her room to get by(seems like a cow pasture would be room a plenty).

A few shouts and rude remarks later I'm starting to feel life will be ok again,the code 3 has been lifted,slowly things are returning back to normal.

For now.

Memory of the food

The subject at breakfast was food,food like our Mommas cooked.

It just seemed the food was better.

Take Momma's biscuits,is there anything as good?I'm sure other biscuits are just  as good or better but the memory of her biscuits I guess make them seem better.

We all have memories like this.

Take Daddy's way of cooking hamburgers,dipping the bun in the grease before they are finished seem so delicious but in reality maybe it was a good memory not the food.

Memories are like this,sweeter not because of the food,but the love that lingers on.

Because

Sleep was hard for me last night.

It wasn't because a hail storm hit late yesterday evening covering the ground like snow or because the sky lit up a weird green color or because power was off till 2 am or because I just couldn't sleep.

It wasn't because March came out like an lion or because or it was April Fools Day or because I was glad the night was over.

Just because.

Knuckle cream celebration day

One of the greatest inventions of the last century has got to be one of the simplest but much needed and over look items known to man.

What would we do without it is now an unheard  reality of modern man.Through man kind this item was over looked by early man looking for answers to life's most troubling questions,questions and answers man pondered when night falls and man is free to imagine.

Today I proudly announce  results of this known study to men and women of the world.

Knuckle cream.Yes knuckle cream.

If not for knuckle cream our knuckles would be bare and quite unsightly.

So be it known on this day of April 1st each year at this time shall forth be known as knuckle cream celebration day.

By the way.........






April Fools Day!!!!

Problem solved

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

Talking about the situation here at the home affectingly known as Hotel California.

This is what I'm talking about.Food.Let me start at the beginning.Three meals each day we are served.Breakfast in my opinion is excellent,no complaints here.In fact the staff goes out of their way to make sure breakfast is made to order.

But lunch and supper prepared by WGHS  is what my complaint is about.It's bad.Frozen vegetables like zucchini,cauliflower etc cant replace food like most Southerners have been raised on.Butter beans,black eyed peas,potatoes fried and sliced and the ever present cornbread are staples in most Southern homes not turkey sausage and other imitation beef meat by products.I had some meat the other day that will remain as undisclosed for a better description.

More food is wasted than served.It should be the other way around.

Good food will solve this problem.

Rainy mornings

A rainy morning.

I like it.

More the better if it's stormy with thunder and lighting.There is something relaxing and soothing about morning rain.Add some wind to the mixture and you might have a perfect situation.

Center of my mind

Join me for a trip of my brain.

January of this year I awoke to a stroke.It started on a normal day but the room was full of flashing streaks of golden lights.It sounded as if when people talked there was an echo and they spoke in slow motion.My eyes seemed cross eyed and blurry.

Something wasn't right.

This was Friday afternoon.By Saturday I was persuade a trip to the ER was needed.11 hours later about 5 am I was back home after being told my potassium level was low.

I was fine except for a nagging headache to the back of my head.

Monday was a different story.

At breakfast I was confused.I was trying to keep it to myself.Trying to eat was impossible.I had forgot how to use a fork and spoon.

Words are just a bag of these common meanings that confused me more.Up down right left made no sense.This time straight with siren blasting off to the ER was my first trip of the day.

A Cat Scan was the first of many test that cold Monday.MRI followed with sonogram and the ever present needles etc.

Really how many test I can't recall.

3 days later I'm back home.

I won't say things are better but different.Some words still give me problems,dates really cause problems at times and don't think anything about it if I forget your name,of course I remember you, this problem getting words out is sometimes hard.

Blue plate surprise

What it was I have no idea.

But chicken it ain't.

Something in the food category with gravy is my guess.

I have a thing about food,if I can't spell or pronounce it I don't eat it.Same with that blue plate surprise at lunch.

I'm craving some down home food like black eye peas,some big white butter beans with thin hot cornbread and please don't forget the fried sliced taters.

Just right

Just like Goldilocks and those three bears talked about it was just right.

A perfect night.

Not too warm,not too cold,not too hard,not too soft.

Wrapped in a comfy blanket,gentle rain serenading me,the early morning was just right for peaceful sleep.

Goldilocks and those bears got the night just right.

It's cold outside

It's not that hot is it?

I feel like that Rip Van Winkle guy who slept all those years under a tree because I must have been sleeping and missed something.

Where did spring go?

Just between us and General Lee the ground hog, winter is still hanging around.

People for over the past few days have proudly exclaimed victory over winter but I for one know different.

It's cold out side baby.Laying in my comfy blanket soaking in the last rays of heat from the sun I long for summer.

Enough of winter time. Bring on June's warmth,the 4th of July,the dog days of August.

77 degrees like today is not exactly summer time yet.

Stroke

A short story.

1/8/15 I had a stroke.

I woke up knowing something was wrong.A headache back of my head,confusion,was the tell tale signs.

Cat Scan straight from the ER,more test,no time yet to be scared.

Words are just starting to make sense.

Thank God!

More later.

I want to be a Walton

Laying here in my warm cozy bed,sipping lukewarm buttermilk eating soda crackers I'm thinking.

After watching a couple of Waltons reruns on TV I've decided they should adopt me.

Yep I want to be a Walton.

All that love,all those brothers and sisters,Momma and Papa,Grandma and Grandpa living in that 2 story house.

I know it just TV and they are just actors but at times that show brings a tear to my eye.

I think they might have room for one more.

Being an only child I dearly wanted brothers and sisters.Really those that had siblings maybe I was just a little jealous of.

I can just hear it now...goodnight John Boy...goodnight John Boy number 2...goodnight everyone!!!

Happy birthday

Happy birthday Momma and Daddy the same to you.

Hard to imagine both of you being 89 years old.

I don’t have to write a cutesy story about how much I miss or post on some social media my love for you.

Both of you are in my thoughts daily.

Grandpa was Mr Sherman

I think the Yankee chef over at the hospital is still fighting the war of Yankee aggression.

He must be Mr Sherman's great great grandson.

What his Grandpa didn't destroy on that march from Atlanta to the sea he is doing with these meals he plans.

The South had Kudzu as it's secret weapon,he is using baked fish,cauliflower and a wheat roll as his.

We can survive this

Help us.

It's going to get cold.

The wind is blowing.

It might snow.

We gonna die!

Winter in Dixie.

Go to the store now buy bread,milk and your favorite canned meat.If it snows you could be trapped in your house for hours maybe a whole day.Don't panic.

Wear your ear muffs even in the house not because it's cold but to drown out your children's constant pitter patter to the window looking for that one lone snowflake which will mean school will be closed for least a week.

The grownups won't be so lucky your employer will come get you for work in a 4 wheel drive Jeep but you gotta get your self home the best way you can.Tip,carry a few Snicker bars in coat pocket,the colder it gets the hungrier you will be.

Mom's are cooking chili and vegetable soups storing them away cause it's going to get cold and that's what Southerner's are programmed to eat when it gets cold.

Stay calm this to shall pass.

We Southern folks can put up with hot summers,floods,tornadoes,hurricanes,pesky skeeters and even a invasion by those Yankees a hundred years and something ago.

We can survive this also.

Changes

I want some Krystals.

Four of them and some fries please.That's all nothing else needed.

My appetite is waining,nothing tastes good anymore.

Have I reached that point in my life I've always heard about that your tastes changes as one gets older?

Sunday here at Hotel California on the menu for supper was a hamburger.After one bite I couldn't eat anymore of it.Maybe they are using turkey like in the bacon and sausage.And get this little boiled potatoes called baby bakers are served with the burgers.No fries that's un American!

Something has changed,me or the food.

Mod Squad

Full time redneck part time TV critic.

That's me.

The new TV season doesn't interest me much except for Shelby the swamp man and that new show(haven't really seen it yet)about funeral directors by day wrestlers by night.Dying to see it.

So I'm forced to go back in time and review a classic TV program from the 60's.

The Mod Squad.

Three hipsters from the peace and love generation play undercover police people.Back in the day they where lovingly refereed to as narcs.

There is this white dude who I can't remember what his name is,a black dude with a giant afro named Linc and Julie a brown eyed long haired blond who is pretty.

The white dude takes everything serious and Linc with the afro never smiles but Julie is beautiful.

I don't think they are old enough to carry guns cause I never see them with one Julie is gorgeous.

So this is the short review version of The Mod Squad where Julie is as they use to say is a Foxy Lady.

My next review will be on the Avengers.A British TV series with some old guy and Ms Peel who is pretty.

Curious picky

Curious.Picky.

I've been called that all my life.

Just because I don't eat the foods others like.

Mr Burton who was my roomie was the same way.He lived till he was almost 97 years old.People would grouch on him to eat his peas,chicken or what ever was on his plate but he only wanted(Little Debbie) oatmeal pies.

I'm almost a 100 years old and this is what I want to eat he would say.

I agree Mr B.

Big white butter beans

Big white butter beans,corn bread and potato salad.

Does it get any better?

Someone brought me a care package from home(thank you,thank you,thank you) and today that's going to be my lunch and supper.

East Reynolds and Main

The corner of East Reynolds and Main Street East Newnan,Georgia is where my thoughts are tonight.

It started earlier today while watching old TV programs on the internet from the 1960's.

The Invaders,Perry Mason,Patty Duke Show on and on nothing but memories.

I closed my eyes and I was back there.My room on a cold blustery day the heat from a gas space heater making the room cozy and dozy.Sitting in front of a 23 inch black and white console TV watching the Beaver.

About 5 pm waiting for the ding ding of the ice cream man who had hot dogs and chips and soda fountain Cokes which would be supper a few times each week.That smell of hot dogs being roasted from the butane roaster makes me crave a few right now.

Momma was work at the mill on the 2nd shift.Daddy was sleeping cause he worked the 3rd.

As I write this on a cold rainy Friday night I'm wishing I was back there on the corner of East Reynolds and Main in that cozy dozy room.

Memories embedded into my soul

A potbelly coal burning stove sat at the foot of twin iron post beds.

Grandpa's bed was on the left as you entered the room,Grandma's on the right.

A light hung from the ceiling between the beds.

The year is 1955,Roanoke,Alabama,I'm 3 years old but that memory is fresh in my mind just like it was yesterday.

This is where my memory starts.

I went back to the old home place a few years ago.It didn't look the same.That mountain of a red clay bank didn't seem as big as way back then.Gone was the weathered slanting barn we kids were warn to stay out of but we didn't.

That unpainted long splintered back porch where Grandma churned butter and kin folks sat and talked I wish for again.

Parents,Grandparents,Aunts,Uncles and Cousins,Uncle Leon's old Nash parked under the Willow tree,Daddy behind Ole Gray John plowing till time to go to work in the mills.

Peaches and cream and Grandpa's laughter at the breakfast table.His hunting dogs and that horn made from a bull's horn.Tall with white hair always wearing a long sleeve white shirt and dungarees and brogan shoes never met a stranger I've been told this was Grandpa.

Gathering eggs from the chicken coup each morning all by myself,I was a big boy of course I was 3.Helping slop hogs in the afternoon that I wasn't allowed to do alone.

Daddy and Uncle Lavert toting Grandpa in a chair to the top of a coal stack so he could hear his hound dogs hunt one more time.

Memories embedded into my soul.

Hotel California

In the year 2015 the old folks home will officially be know as Hotel California.

The new motto will be"You can check out any time you like,but you can never leave!"

Rollin

Tired.

Just plain tuckered out.

Watching Ms Peacock,Mr Jack and Paul rollin rollin rollin all day long in their wheelchairs does it for me.

Giv'em 18 acres of room and they still manage running over your foot.

Rollin rollin ro...

If that is you

Maybe we got it backwards.

Laying here looking out the window thinking.

Hero worship.

Our hero's seem to be movie stars,ball players of every sort,whacked out musicians,politicians and such.

The real hero's are the men and women doing something worthwhile in life.Raising families,getting up every morning sick or not going to a job that they really don't like but do it anyway.

If that is you then you're my hero.

Going to hell

I'm starting off this week with anger in my heart.

Lord I know it's wrong but it's a story that needs putting out there.

Maybe someone will read it and see their self.

Grandma Haynes never for some reason cared for my Momma,why who knows but I think it was a idea put into her head by other members of the Haynes family.

Down on Juniper Street here in LaGrange were we lived 50 plus years ago is what this story is about.

Grandma had 5 daughters but she always lived with us.

Momma waited on that woman hand and foot,looking after when she was sick mainly because her daughters didn't.

The rumors started by those Juniper Street devils about Momma were shameless.

Not so bad were the rumors but people who knew it was rumors and didn't speak up.They are the one's I hold grudges against.

One of Grandma's daughter's on her deathbed did express her thanks to Momma for taking care of her Momma.

Lord forgive me for these feelings of disgust I have held for those folks all these years but like Momma always said...Juniper Street is going to hell!

Spiked pink punch and confessions

The annual Christmas party was held Thursday here at the old folks home.

Santa messed up,he thought I was on the nice list,scored big time.

I yours truly got 2 sets of lounger pants,2 long sleeve T shirts,pack of xl white T shirts,new set of earbuds and 4 bags of sugar free chocolate covered pecan candy squares(I shared).

The snacks at the party were great,grapes,tangerines,cookies,cheese balls,the best chicken nuggets and bless Gary J's sister she sent me a bag of her yummy M&M cookies that I have been bragging about since last year's party.

Us fat boys have to stick together,passing out his candy treats I got double helpings of Silver Bells and peppermints from Santa.

A good time was had,the pink punch wasn't spiked and that cut down on the fist fights between the little ole gray headed ladies.

Biker dude Ernie confessed he was once a male stripper,maybe he got the spiked pink punch.

Merry Christmas!

If you insist

I'm not going to say anything about what was seen in the sky yesterday.

Nope not going to say.

Well...

If you insist.

I was watching a big jet from my window and right under it something caught my attention.

To me it looked like a weather balloon.Slow moving almost stopping at times it seemed to be floating.

It did seem to change colors from silver to red.Maybe it was just the reflection of the sun on it.

Interesting what ever it was.

Guess it shows

The new nurse here at the old folks home had the pleasure of checking my nightly blood sugar and as usual it was sky high.

Wat'cha been eating she asked?

Without saying a word I pointed to a cartoon of buttermilk,my spare,for later when I get back in my room.

You drink that she asked?

Well now I  guess my country backwoods never seen sunlight ways must be showing but yes I drink buttermilk.

Buttermilk over sweet milk anytime far as I'm concerned.

Fact is I had buttermilk and cornbread for supper.

Back in the old days maybe not the good old days just way back when, a large skillet of cornbread was made for dinner(lunch it's now called)and what was left over that was your supper(some incorrectly now call it dinner)with your choice of milk,buttermilk or sweet milk.

As Lewis Grizzard,Great American,would say,not like the food in those fancy cafes were they cooked the tomatoes and eat the green beans raw.

Just plain good tasting food like milk and bread is good enough for me.

Guess my country ways were showing.

Maybe she was trying to tell me something

Do you think?

Years ago when I was younger and a woman was in my life this I found out.

On my Facebook page I noticed no longer was I in a relationship with this woman.

Maybe she was trying to tell me something.

On her Myspace this I read"still searching for the love of my life".

Maybe she was trying to tell me something.

A post on Facebook read"wish I was somewhere else".

Maybe she was trying to tell me something.

Tear jerkers

Dang.

Those Publix grocery store holiday commercials always make me tear up.

Right here this spot

I was talking with my friend here at the home Ernie the biker dude and half way kidding half way serious I said Ernie you do know this is where we will spend the rest of our days.

Right here,this spot,till we die or the home kicks us out,far seeing anything happening this is it right here.

Pizza for lunch soup and grilled cheese at supper on Fridays and chicken of some sort on Sundays.Forever.

Get use to it that's our future.

Both of us are 62 and with the help of medical advances maybe 10 maybe 20 more years we could hang on right here this spot.

The only place left for me to go is up the road to Hunter Allen Myhand funeral home then that short trip over to Shadowlawn cemetery where my folks are resting in peace.

At times laying here,31B,in room31SW,I think right here this spot,my comfy bed,is were I will meet the end of my story.

Some times when facing reality it don't seem nice but fact is fact.

Type of day

Like a cold drink of water on a blistering hot day.

A burst of cold Arctic air in my face.

Squishy mud between my bare toes.

A smile from someone who cares.

The roar of ocean waves.

Tall Georgia pine trees swaying in the wind.

Yeah.

That's the type of day I want.

Deep into the clutches

All this crazy talk around the old folks home has to have an effect on everyone.

People talking in riddles,they can't help it,they are deep into the clutches of craziness.

Maybe being crazy ain't so bad.

Busy

Busy burning bridges.

Cause I care

Tonight the full moon rises
Please be aware
Watch out for unexpected surprises
I say this not to frighten but cause I care

Strange things go on
Noises heard you can't explain
You know how it is around the old folks home
Full moons are never tame

Screams of help me will be heard
Just pay no mind
Don't fight it or struggle accept the absurd
Believe me just take a deep breath all will be fine

Nowhere else to go

I can relate.

Gossip

Back in the old days before Facebook and all the other social media outlets how did we keep up what was going on with our friends,family and neighbors?

Oh I remember.

It was called gossip back then.

All I want

All I want for Christmas is a good hot cup of coffee.

This lukewarm stuff here at the old folks home leaves lot to be desired.

Call it my vacation

Two days now I've had the pleasure of just laying here in bed playing on the computer and watching the world pass by my window.

All the Hoyer lift pads are in the laundry and I don't like being lifted by my arms,it hurts.

Call it my vacation.

Reason why?

The day after Thanksgiving.

Official start of the Christmas season.

Till this very day I wonder why a grown woman and man with sons my age tell me an innocent 5 year old that Santa wasn't going too visit me because I didn't receive a letter from him like their boys did.

I think about it every Christmas.

Assholes!

I like it

I know it.

I'm a boring person.

Always have been always will be.

Never been to war,never jumped out of a airplane,never been drunk,never smoked dope,never been in a police car chase,never been shot at(but a man did pull out a gun on my Daddy once and I wasn't scared for me but for Daddy)never cut up to much in school,never did anything I knew would worry me later,never will I be like Tony Soprano,never will I complain(not to you anyway)etc and etc.

Yes I'm just your everyday boring person who likes things quite,likes being alone at times,likes watching the sun set, likes puppies and kittens,likes being around people I like,likes comfort food(burgers,fries,beans peas,cornbread and since yesterday that delicious creamy cheese broccoli and smoky bacon soup)likes knowing what is right what is wrong and likes having God in my life,likes having you in my life(smiling)likes having sweet memories mixed in with the bad ones,likes the smell of honeysuckle on a star filled summer night peppered with fireflies,etc and etc.

Yes this is me John Lee Haynes...and I like it.

Wimps and weaklings

Wimps and weaklings.

Compared to old school rioters of years gone by this is the rioters of Ferguson.

I watched as 12 big ole boys tried to flip a Dodge subcompact Po Po car over and they barely got the thing up on 2 wheels.

Back in the ole days of rioting give Momma a 40 ouncer and she could flip them huge Crown Vic's by herself like they were Matchbox cars.

If you are going to steal do it big.

Back in the LA riots folks had style and class.

I remember seeing a huge 60 inch Sony TV hanging out the trunk of a Plymouth Duster.

Today's Ferguson rioters have set their sights way low.

The first place they hit was Dollar Tree.

Send them back to rioting 101 and learn how it's done old style.

Peoples done got old

Peoples done got old.

I was looking around on Facebook,really I was searching for folks I knew from East Newnan,Ga.

People I was so called friends with back in the 60's.That was a sarcastic remark excuse me.

After deep thought I've come to the conclusion really they weren't that nicest of people.

As I lay here drinking hot tea with just a taste of honey and lemon listening to the Ramones on YouTube my mind is free and clear.

I can and will say those people back in the day I really don't like now or then.

So should I invite them to be my friends on Facebook....nahh that ain't going to happen.

You ain't all that

It erks me when someone walks by,you say hello and get no response.

Could it be they are deaf and just didn't hear me?

Could it be they were so busy in deep thought all outside communication was shut out?

Could it be they felt saying hello in return wasn't worthy of their time?

Could it be whatever?

I can forgive but forgetting is another thing.

Besides you really ain't all that.

Lost innocence

51 years ago, November 22nd,1963,a simpler time,a Friday,about 2 pm est,a cloudy but mild day,11 years old in the 6th grade at East Newnan Elementary life as we had known it changed.

President John Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas,Texas.

Principal Hemphil announced over the loud speaker in each class room that the President was dead.

It started raining and turned cold that afternoon.

All TV networks, just 3 at that time,in black and white broadcast around the clock news,updates,interviews with witnesses and speculation about who or what had killed JFK.

I watched live on TV Saturday as Lee Harvey Oswald the accused assassin was shot and killed by Jack Ruby.

It has been called the end of Camelot.

America had lost it innocence.

Opportunity

Room available.

For that special person a special opportunity.

Come join us down in room 31 SW where your every need will be met.

Special consideration given if you have kin folk who work at the Krystal or Taco Bell that visit often and are very generous.

Inquire within to our resident manager Paul.

If you are that special one come on down.

Baby it's cold outside

18 degrees this morning in LaGrange.

That is cold for here this time of the year.

I had to decide if breakfast or staying under warm covers which one was the best choice.

When I was a kid for heat we had coal burning fireplaces or a pot belly stove and later on when the city ran gas lines to houses space heaters.

Never was heat left on at night.

Those patch quilts piled so high it felt like being encased in cement kept you warm.

Those cold mornings and the first steps on bare painted wood floors made  emergency runs to the bathroom just that an emergency.

No wonder carpeted floors became a big hit.

Ernie the biker dude

I have a friend here at the old folks home let's just call him Ernie the biker dude.

Ernie is 6 months younger than me and I really enjoy our chats we have each day sitting around the TV.

The biker dude looks the part.Rings on each finger,chains around the neck and bracelets on each wrist,ear rings and a body covered with tattoos shaved head and beard.He looks like that singer from Judas Priest really.

When it starts lighting I tend to give Ernie the biker dude plenty of room cause I just know wearing all that silver jewelry he would be an excellent conductor for electricity.

He tells of his adventures in his life and I just know my evil twin and Ernie could be blood brothers or maybe twins separated at birth.

On one of his fingers he wears a ring that caught my attention a skull with red eyes.

We have a hand shake deal.

If I kick the bucket first he can have my prized possession this computer.Now if he gives up the ghost first that silver skull ring with red eyes is mine.

A blaze of glory

Laying here in bed last night looking out the window nature provided me with a light show of no comparison to any thing man made.

A shooting star streaked across the sky moving east to west.

It seemed to be low and slow almost stopping so I could enjoy it longer.

A flash and poof it was gone.

I got to thinking,that shooting star was like man,bright,fast moving then in a blaze of glory it was gone only to be left as a memory to be enjoyed later.

Just for laughs

Laying here in bed waiting on breakfast watching it rain and the wind blow the BlueJay bird wind chime out my bedside window something caught my attention.

Down the hall people were laughing.Each laugh was different like voices I could tell who the laugh belonged to.

Some laughs were the tiny almost embarrassed to be laughing laughs,others were the snorting kind I don't care who's listening types.

Some laughs were pleasant others that make your skin crawl like fingernails scraping a blackboard type of laugh.

But the best laughs of all are a baby's laugh.

Set me free

Shadows pass by me
Chill down my spine
Something there I can't see
Maybe I'm losing my mind

I feel there is evil
Here with me
Surely I'm bedeviled
Jesus set me free

Goings on at the old folks home

Weekly round up of the goings on at the old folks home.

Ms A. the Lady who threw a cup of ice water in my face awhile back has had her wheelchair fixed and she no longer goes round and round in circles like a ship with a broke rudder.She is on the move and it worries me when I know that little old Lady is behind me some where out of sight.She spends her free time hollering help and just like that little boy who cried wolf one day help will be needed for real but her cries for help will go unnoticed.

Rufus was acting like a dufus and the Po Po's took him away.His piano and guitar playing will be missed...nahh.

Ms P. does her nightly laps around the mall area in her wheelchair.She is huffing and puffing like Fred Sandford who would say "this is the big one Elizabeth".I just know she will fall out with a heart attack some afternoon.Each lap she makes my foot manages getting run over least once.

Mr R. is back from his vacation at the hospital and I'm trying to convince him to leave me one of his rings the one which is a skull with red eyes in his will.You know just in case.

Gary J. reelected resident president.Again no one else wants the job so the incumbent had no opposition.

Eating fried chicken

Nurse Amber bless your heart
How can I say thank you where do I start
What you brought back from town
Makes me feel like jumping around

Big Chick chicken and crinkle fries
From this bed I will arise
Talk about food that's good
Eating fried chicken in the hood

A big surprise for me

Talk about being surprised I was.

It all took place last Saturday at lunch.As always and always on this day my order for hotdogs was put in to the kitchen.

What happened was rarer than snow in Georgia in July or stranger than me thinking a politician is honest and looking out for my best interest.

I was took back friends.

Opening my lunch plate top there they were two of the prettiest fried or baked or microwaved who cares big ole corndogs.

Flashback.

It was an New Year's eve and off to the Krystal I went.Not even out of the drive thru yet and I was munching on a cornpup and then it happened,stars were seen maybe I even blacked out for a few micro seconds,the humanity of it all,I had bit down on the cornpup stick and loosen my $1000 implanted front tooth yeah the tooth that the dog ate years later.

But my lust for corndogs hasn't ceased.

I've already put my order in for hotdogs today join me friends in hoping for more corndogs and lots of mustard.

Redneck ways explained

Redneck ways explained:

1.Shaving your beard off...disguise...hiding from your wife or the Po Po's.

2.Wearing of socks...somebody done died and you have to dress up for the funeral.

3.Feast for sore eyes...swiping the last buttered biscuit from Bubba.

4.Question...why did you shoot Larry Bill...answer...he was wearing a camo hat,camo face mask,camo coat,camo pants and camo boots...I didn't see'em.

5.In the dog house...place you go that's much nicer than at home with the wife and kids.

6.Here is where you can add a saying... ain't easy is it?

7.Redneck woman's way of showing her love for you...holding your  backy spit cup made from a Folgers coffee can when driving the F150 on bumpy roads.

8.Git...what I better do after numbers 5 and 7.

Clink clank

Something in my life is missing.

On a cold clear winters night laying in bed half way between sleep and awake the sound of a train,whistle blowing and tracks rattling with bells ringing.

 I don't hear them hear.

That clink clank of the train on the track I hoped would never stop or least till falling asleep.

Shootin and Cookin

Congratulations to my friend who now has her own Saturday afternoon TV show.

Watch for it at 4 pm weekly on your local Fox TV station.

The name of the show is Shootin and Cookin.

Tune in each week and find out what's been shot and how she will cook it.Here is a sneak preview.

Doesn't get any better

It doesn't get any better than this.

Fall days especially fall afternoons.The colors of trees with browns,oranges and yellow leaves.That brisk refreshing air on a fall evening when you take a deep breath and your nostrils are filled with the chillness  and the simple joy of wood smoke from someone's fireplace or the burning of fallen leaves.

In your front porch rocker watching the suns last shimering rays as it sets in the west being replaced by a star filled sky so big and bright you feel like reaching up and grabbing one.

Peace has come to you.

Old folks and drugs

The Bible said to drink a little wine for thou stomachs sake.

Now why don't we follow rules the Bible has set forth?

I think that instead of loading us old folks up with these high power drugs that have all these awful side effects give us all a little glass of wine before bedtime some folks maybe would need two glasses to relax and get everyone in a happy mood.

While pouring our drinks how about a little smoke of that medical marijuana for our bad eyes and aching joints.

Natural medications instead of those synthetic man made killer drugs that the big pharmaceutical companies say we should take.

 Come on now wouldn't you rather see Grandma and Grandpa dancing around having a bit of fun and being happy instead of having that dead fish stare in their eyes?

Catastrophe at old folks home

A catastrophe at the old folks home was avoided today.

Seems some of the residents here took a trip to Burger King for Whoppers and fries on the bus borrowed from our big sister nursing home across town.

All goes well till the return trip back.Seems the remote hand control for the wheelchair lift was left dangling outside of the bus according to our on the spot reporter rendering it un usable.

Those on wheelchairs were trapped on the bus and had to be rescued. From my understanding there were a few tense moments among the trappees.

Gary J in his big power chair was one of the trappees and our reporter on the spot has of yet not had a chance to interview him yet getting his first hand impression of the event.

From my understanding all were rescued.

Our on the spot reporter with their box of crayons and a piece of scrap paper renders this photo of the scene.

The good the bad

Car bursts into flames after wreck at Checkers - Lagrange Daily News - lagrangenews.com

The good...no one hurt

The bad...Big Bufords just went on sale 2 for $5

Strange

Looking out my window a few minutes ago I seen something.

Was it a flock of white/silvery birds flying in formation or...

The strange thing was they disappeared,just vanished,poof very quickly.

Watcha talking bout Willis

I should have known.

Past few days here at the old folks home I've had some interesting conversations.

I guess you could call them interesting,different for sure but mostly just confusing.A few of the residents have  engaged me in conversations and it's like they are speaking some unknown foreign long forgotten language.

I could not make heads or tails out of what they were saying.They could have been speaking French or something but I just could not understand them.

I was so glad,after agreeing with what ever it was they were talking about they finished up and moved along.

Another resident rolls up and starts their story just like I'm suppose to know what they are talking about.It seems I'm missing something and when I ask what they are talking about it's like they don't hear me and continue with their story.

Silly me.

I totally missed it.

Now I know why the confusion.

Last night was the Beaver/Frosty full moon.

Word scares me

That word scares me.

The C word.

Cancer.

In my Daddy's family just about all of them died of it.It has even started in my generation with several cousins having it now or have died from it.

Every little ache or pain I get I think of Daddy.Lung an bone cancer killed him.I remember the pain he had.

It was hard watching him in pain and wasting away.Daddy had always been big and strong.

In his family Grandpa,Daddy,Aunt Gladys,Aunt Ruby,Aunt Myrtle and Aunt Eula all died with one type or another cancer.

Yes that word strikes fear in me.

He hates dogs

All the dogs on Juniper Street knew when Joe(I won't use his last name)was close by.

Joe was the dog catcher back then in the late 1950's.

Seems the dogs had their own way of saying Joe was coming.Barking was relayed one by one warning other dogs of impeding danger.

I seen Joe take out his rifle and blindly shoot at a fleeing dog through a neighbors yard once.Where that bullet ended up who knows.

Good news was the dog escaped.

Forward to the 2000's.

A neighbor had a dog with several puppies.They were kept in a pen next to another neighbor's property line.

There is always one in a neighborhood,the one that don't like anybody or anything.

Neighbor called dog catcher and long story short he sided with hate everything neighbor and the dogs,Momma and puppies were removed.

Now this dog catcher who was about 300 pounds looking like a Samurai wrestler puts a choke collar on Momma and leads her to his dog catching truck.

Well Momma I guess doesn't want to go and is a bit uncontrolable and 300 pound takes out his baton and is in motion to wack Momma dog.

The scene brings back memories of Joe and his rifle.

So I'm thinking putting 1 plus 1 togather and have come to the conclusion that to be a dog catcher one has to be a dog hater.

Jesus was a Republican?

I just don't understand.

Where in the Bible does it say Jesus was a Republican?

The way people are talking this morning  he was.

First off let me say I'm not a Democrat or Republican if I'm anything call me an Independent.

What I don't like about party politics is just that they are for the party they belong with and the American people are far down the list of who they work for.

Being honest both parties have done good both have done bad.

I have faith in the American people but none in the political system.