Things we try to hide

Looking out the big window just watching the world go by is what I'm doing today.The leaves are changing and the little tree a Dogwood I think has some color on it now.There is a big bush of some type next to the tree that is kept trimmed and it is the home to a rabbit.I see in darting in and out at twilight each evening and I always fear it's going to get a little to close to the busy road.The hummingbirds have gone where ever hummingbirds go this time of the year.Been over a week since I've seen one.Honey bees and butterflies have took over the feeder.

Soon the trees will be bare and colder weather will be here.Maybe.Last year no winter weather to speak of.When the trees are bare of leaves everything looks so humdrum to me.The trees and bushes will give up their ghosts so to speak and all the things hidden by the green foliage will be in view.Good or bad nothing hidden.

It's like things we try to hide but one day all will be revealed.

Gravity

I have it figured out.This big idea came to me this morning while watching NASA TV. Space is where I belong.

For those that don't know it I can't walk anymore.No big deal that's just the way it turned out.So here is my big idea.Gravity.Or the lack of it would be perfect for me.Watching crew members of the International Space Station float around with so much ease looked so inviting.

Once years ago there was a documentary about a man in a wheelchair titled Gravity Is My Enemy.He was so right!That is my enemy also.

So back to the ISS watching them float around the cabin so effortless made me wish I could do that.Strong legs and arms would not be so important in a weightless no gravity environment.I could just float from place to place.

So just build a dome that covers the Earth attach a big Hoover vacuum cleaner and suck the gravity out and all of us wheelchair bound folks could just float here to there with ease.

Better yet just everyone chip in and buy me a ticket for a ride on the ISS.

No feelings

At times I feel just like a shell of the person I once was.Hard to describe and harder to admit this feeling.It's not a depression it is for a lack of a better word numbness.Maybe it's has something to do with changes in my life.What once was important is not now.Things I wanted and worked for mean nothing.Really it's amazing just not caring about all that stuff.Baggage of life was all it was and guess I really didn't need it at all.

Hard admitting my feelings about other things also.At times I have no feelings about this or that and maybe I should have.

I've seen how people can come and go in my life.It is so easy just to let them go and not have a second thought about it.Maybe it is a built in defense against hurt and heartbreak that I have and that is a good thing.

Or could it be that time and distance has something to do with this feeling.I know it's just a saying but time does heal.Things that once hurt just get pushed further and further back into your brain till the memory is almost lost.This is a good thing because it would be pure hell having to relive every hurtful moment over and over again.