Just another memory

I miss my home.Every time I hear a train whistle I’m wishing I was there.Thought it would be ok giving up the old place but lately I dream of it wanting to be back.Back where my life was.Back where my memories are.Back to where the people I loved lived.It’s gone, just another memory.

I do try

Ok I’m not perfect.Lot of things I do are regretted and make me feel guilty.My conscious has always kept me in check about things.Sometimes things are thought through and sometimes they are done on a whim.Better thinking through things before acting on them believe me.Saves a lot of trouble.The Bible said if you think about it you are just as guilty as doing it.I’m in trouble.Some things never acted on but sure thought about.We are all sinners and fall short the Bible said.I know that is my case.The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.All I can do is ask forgiveness for my sins and try to live more Christ like but I know sooner or later I will mess up big time again.

The Timex

The Timex.When I was a little boy my folks often had to work nights.This meant I had to stay with relatives . I was always treated nice by everyone but it was very lonely.Often I would put my Timex watch up against my ear listening to the tick tick tick.The soothing sound was a comfort to me. Today in my old age I think a Timex is still need.

Let me complain

Things with my health are getting worse.Not complaining here it’s something to write about when nothing else comes into my mind Let me be honest guess I am complaining. Maybe it will help someone out there going through this part of their life.I don’t think I have gave up completely yet.There is still life in me.My brain is still working even if I do have senior moments from time to time.My body is wearing out wasting away from the Kulgleburg Welander Syndrome elcrapo thing and being diabetic doesn’t help at all.I’m not walking anymore.The bed is where I stay mostly.Thank God for this adjustable bed it has been a blessing from God.My power chair has also been a blessing and the patient lift has made things so much easier.After last December 2010 when I ended up in the hospital really was the start of it all going down hill.It just knocked me down and I guess giving up seemed like the easy thing to do. For a long time sitting up was impossible I have heard people say the room is spinning Well when sitting up whew boy it was like a carnival ride.Nausea every time and a few times I thought I would just lay down in the floor and die,it was that bad. I have to depend on people now for just about everything.I hate being a burden.I know what the future holds.Several times I have made up my mind about going to a nursing home.I don’t really want to go but sooner or later I have to give it serious thinking.Some pain now when being moved.My knee on the right leg seems to be frozen and it doesn’t want to bend.Maybe I’m being a big baby but it hurts.That is one reason I don’t use the power wheelchair as much.Hurts just sitting in it with the knee problem.My hips I’m sure have been knocked out of place from all the falls I taken over the years.Some pain at times with them.I use to never worry about this but everything just started happening so quick.I could walk and take care of myself and having to have others help does take away from my pride or ego call it what you want.Some say everything has been planned out from the start for each of our life.I really don’t know.All I know is it sure gets hard at times just keeping going on.

First cup of the day

That first cup of coffee of the day is the best. After that none quite taste as good. I have heard people say your taste changes as you get older.I know for a fact our hearing,sight and a few other things change with age so stands to reason our taste does also.If I make it to June 24^th 2012 I will be 60 years old.Being old does have it’s advantages.We get senior citizen discounts at fast food places and on Tuesdays we old folks get 10% discount at the grocery store on the stuff we buy that doesn’t taste like it did in our younger days .