I don't know what to write about.Ideas are scrambled tonight.No one thing sticks out.Way I do this is someone will say something or my eye is caught by things going on around me.Then I just go with the idea.It's not auto writing but the words just flow from my fingers.Bad or good that's the way it works for me.Summer school in the 9th grade we had to write books reports.Standing up in front of people was pure torture for me.As the teacher said putting things on paper I could do but so shy I was at the time,not as bad now,I would stumble and stutter through those awful things.
Sometimes it is so easy for me to put my feelings of the moment down.There is a lot I will not talk about.Least not now anyway.Last week I had to answers some questions.Fairly honest I was but some things I skipped around.Tell them what they want to hear has always been my motto.
Being honest.Being honest with one's self.Sometimes that's more difficult than being honest with someone else.Don't want to face those things we know about ourselves sometimes.I do try being honest but maybe I just don't tell all.
Sometimes I say things and where did that come from I wonder.Where and why did I say that.That was stupid.Be better for me if I could just script out what I want to say.Sure save on embarrassment.Wish I could just let words and feelings fly without worrying about consequences.
But thinking about that maybe it's not such a good idea.Sometimes a little tact is needed.Bite your tongue.I'm good at that.Really that's not honest but keeps the peace.
Ok is this a good place to stop? Don't want to sound like I'm just rambling.Maybe someday when it's a cold dark windy blustery day I will be honest with you and more important truly honest with myself and say what's really on my mind.Naw that won't happen !
