A dedicated yellow chopper motorcycle rider passes by my window every morning at about the same time.This guy rides hot,cold,rainy weather.A leather jacket he wears year round.
He must be the real thing.Not just a sunny day rider.I'm impressed.
Like some people who are just sunny day family/friends.Let the rain or cold come and vamoose they are gone from your life.
Watching baseball on the Tele and when the camera focuses on the crowd at the ball park seems like everyone has their Star Trek pocket communicator out doing the texting thang.
I see people walking around textter in hand head down unfamiliar with whats going on around them just a texting away.
I'm a eating sushi at so and so place they update FaceBook friends like yeah so what.
Just seen a texter text they where at church.
Hmm hope they are not texting but letting the preacher's message soak in.
Sorry for stepping on your toes about this texting thang but I needed something to write about.
Next time you lose a $20 just text the location you last saw it.
My eyes still fuzzy from deep slumber there he stood outside my bedroom window smiling,staring,looking in.
In his hand a white paper sack and a extra large coffee.Waving that sack I figured out he wanted to come in.
Heck I live at the old folks home where little ole gray headed ladies cruise the halls and by ways in their wheelchairs just looking for someone to harass so this guy didn't scare me at all.
In my best Mexican sign language I motion for him to come on in.
It's not every day you see a big white guy with a big red afro wearing a yellow jumpsuit with # 18 size red shoes.Least not while awake but that is a story for another time.
Slowly,quietly trying not to wake my roomies up he crawled through the window.
At the side of my bed he raised a finger to his ruby red lips making that international understood sign of shhh be quiet.
Low and behold!
And that delicious coffee was for me!
Pointing to the white sack he gave it a couple of shakes while smiling with those big ruby red lips.
Guess what was inside?
Bacon,real bacon,thick crispy heart attack bacon not that chickentarian bacon we get at the old folks home biscuits.Those buttermilk biscuits just melt in ones mouth and he had brought some real deep fried hash browns also.
Like Santa on Christmas eve off in a flash he went I think delivering other sleepy eyed old folks their morning constitutional of cholesterol sodium packed items of delight.
I have no pain.It's been a long time since I have.In my younger years cramps in my calfs of my legs at night were common.That by the way is the biggest muscle on me,they were over worked when I was walking.Weight lifters or body builder's legs from knee down could not compare with the calfs of my legs.
It's rare for me to feel sick at all.
I'm just tired all the time ,have been since I was a kid.
In all fairness this Kugleberg Welander Syndrome or the other name it's known by SMA3,has been kind to me.It's been very slow in progression.
Not like that terrible disease of ALS.
Sometimes you have to accept things the way they are.Pitching a hissy fit or feeling why me sorry for yourself serves no purpose.
Okay.
That's my pep talk for today now get outta here and do something.
Had a little one yesterday,no biggee but still for awhile I had my hopes up.
Like the man said "don't feel like the lone ranger " whatever that means.Guess it means you are not alone.
We all have had disappointments in this life.I have had my fair share it seems.Wish a lot of things had turned out different.
Like that time a local store had a drawing for a new bicycle.I got a letter in the mail and had my hopes up I was a winner.Nope ain't going to happen.You almost won the letter said.A disappointment.Often in my old age I have wondered why that letter was even sent.
I have had a lot of almosts in life,but why worry about it,like the man said " it's water under the bridge " or better yet like the man said "don't cry over split milk ".
Dreamed of a hole in the ground and in that hole there were two things.A rattlesnake and a mountain lion.Instead of just walking away I had to get the mountain lion out.Why I don't know.
Ended up getting both out of that pit or hole in the ground.I had the snake by the head holding it so it couldn't bite and feeling sorry for it I just gave it a fling not wanting to hurt it.
What happened too the lion I don't remember.
There was also a woman I know that kept popping in and out of this dream.She kept asking me questions and it was starting to irritate me.
Dreams about snakes I have always heard mean you have an enemy.If that's the case wish they would leave me alone and let me sleep.
I had my heart set on it.My mouth was watering thinking about what was to come.My taste buds were at full attention.In short I could hardly wait for supper.
Chili.
Yes chili and a toasted/grilled cheese sandwich was the alternative for supper tonight.I noticed this as soon as my fuzzy eyes could focus on the expanded menu this morning.
Chili or baked fish let me think this over hmmm chili of course was my choice.Didn't even have to think that one over.
More I thought about that delicious homemade chili the hunger set in deep.Two bowls was my idea of a filling supper.
Told my CNA to please put in my order.In fact I told another CNA to check on my request just to make sure.
I was chili hungry and didn't want to leave anything to chance.
Watching the clock as it moved ever so slowly making it's way to 5 pm supper time.
It's finally time.The supper cart has arrived.Soon I would be devouring those bowls of chili.
You must not like fish the CNA who delivered my tray said you have a hot dog.
Wait.A hot dog?A hot dog with my chili right?That's what you mean yes?
No.
As that farmer McDonald in the Geico commercial who is in the spelling contest and his word is cow spell cow...cow...spells cow right but add a eieio at the end like in the song who realizes his mistake says dagnabbit I just realized no chili no two bowls of chili no two bowls of chili with a toasted/grilled cheese sandwich for me cause the Hospital didn't send any.
Any way today is National Hot Dog Day and I got two with classic Lays chips.All is not lost.
Summertime sitting on the porch just a swinging in the swing that is what I'm thinking about this morning.
How high can you make it go.That dreaded fear in back of your mind that the chains on the swing might break and that thought brings you down to a more safer swinging speed.
Just sitting on a summer afternoon watching the sun set talking with someone who you enjoy the conversation with.
That was Daddy's and mine time.After supper let's go to the porch he would say and off with my cup of fresh brewed Folgers coffee and little Hav-A-Tampa cigar we went Daddy with his snuff or chewing tobacco.No serious talk just enjoying the company.
A time when neighbors stopped by for chats and people driving by that you waved at.
Night time summer porch swinging memories made of this.Fireflies and the sound of crickets and cicadas mixed with the smell of honeysuckle and formosa.
When I get to Heaven I hope there is a big porch with a swing waiting on me.
Focusing my fuzzy vision on the outside I see it's raining.
Good.Gardens need it and I need their acidy red ripe tomatoes.
I really enjoy red ripe home grown tomatoes but there is a problem.
Maybe I'm allergic to them.Soon as one is eaten my face starts tingling,then itching then I break out in this red rash that slowly covers my face.Just my face no were else.
This last for a few days then it looks like I've been in the sun and my skin peels.
I have been warned that my throat could close up,tongue swell and eyes close shut.Benadryl helps but that makes me sleep for a couple of days.
Maybe Momma was right I am hard headed and stubborn but I really like tomatoes.
It does get embarrassing when people stare at you and ask what's wrong with your face.
I have just one question.
Why can't it be broccoli or cauliflower or baked fish and chicken that I'm allergic to.
He was a first class do gooder goody two shoes type always telling the other kids what and not to do.You can't do that I remember little Timmy tell another follow me awe struck zombie once.
Often I wished that when Little Timmy got his self in a jam Lassie wouldn't be so quick to the rescue.
Lassie would get a cup of that excellent coffee from McDonalds and one of those little Hav-A-Tampa cigars and sit back in HIS(yes all the Lassies were boy dogs playing female parts)Lazy Boy recliner and just let Little Timmy sweat it out for awhile.
I seen a Lady who works here at the OFH who almost daily walks past my window to the kitchen were she works pass by in my dream.
This time it was different.She was toting a food tray like our meals are served on.On this food tray I seen little boxes of Krystal hamburgers neatly lined up and I think boxes of fries.
Maybe yours truly has fell off that cliff of sanity and is spiraling out of control into that deep canyon of craziness.
Or maybe I was just hungry and wanted some Krystal's.
Things that go on at the OFH(old folks home) one needs some type of protection.
That little ole gray haired lady in the wheelchair who tried assassinating me with a cup full of ice water is back from being evaluated but I haven't seen her cruising the halls and by ways of the OFH yet.
Then we have the groaners,moaners,complainers,rude ones,inconsiderate ones who(I know you are getting tired of hearing this one)grab the TV remote and changes the channel from what other people are interested in and watching.
Then we have some who suffer from that awful ailment of grand disillusion about their self worth.No you ain't that great or yes really I'm not impressed.
So the tin foil hat really comes in handy.Mine is always close by.Like in that movie Signs were the two little kids make and wear hats of tin foil so those monster aliens can't read their minds.
If it worked for them maybe it will for me.
Not worried about monster aliens but little ole gray haired ladies in wheelchairs.
Back in the old days when America was freer and had less laws things were different.
Everyone it seems is going to Florida or has been lately.I miss the smell of sea water and Coppertone sun tan lotion,the crashing of Atlantic ocean waves on the shore.I have all the qualities to be a first class beach bum.
All that go south to the Sunshine/Bikini state I ask for just one small favor.
Please bring me back a baby alligator so I can put it in one of Twin Fountains water fountains out front at the gazebo.
Seems that custom of stopping on a Florida road and buying a sack full of oranges or a coconut and baby alligators to take home is a thing of the past.
It's now as they say "ginst the law".
Not the oranges or coconuts or those high priced T shirts with the funny sayings but the baby gators.
Daddy would go deep sea fishing a few times each year and my request was always the same "bring me a baby gator Daddy",nope never happened just a bag of oranges or that coconut that kept me busy all day trying to crack'em.
Now that I'm older I think what would I have done with a baby gator anyway.
Maybe that's where that 10 foot gator that was killed up the road in the river came from.
Some pesky kid like me asking his Daddy"bring me a baby gator home".
Yesterday, Wednesday for supper I had baked chicken wings,today,Thursday at lunch I had fried chicken wings,both were enjoyed,supper rolls around and guess what was on my plate,not chicken wings but chicken tenders.
Now chicken three meals in a row is a bit much.I would even get tired eating a thin well done T bone from Piggly Wiggly three times in a row.
I switched my chicken delight for beefy cheesy mac and it was thoroughly enjoyed.
Chicken I know is cheap as far as meat goes but enough already besides what I read in my defense of not being a chickentarian is that chicks today are pumped with steroids and other nasty things so they grow bigger faster.
Took a peek at the menu for Friday's lunch,yep you're ahead of me,chicken tenders.
I just woke up and it’s after midnight.I hope it was just a dream.
Around 10ish pm I fell asleep listening to a 10 hour loop of rain and thunder on YouTube.This is my nightly routine,ear buds in,an all night loop of something is chosen to mask the noises here at the old folks home.I usually just peacefully drift off into deep slumber.
Maybe it was just that snack I had of a tomato and banana pepper or the 3 peanut butter crackers just before sleep that caused this little "dream"?
Or did something,someone really grab my wrist as it hung over the side of the bed?
Many times before falling asleep my hand hanging over the side I’ve thought what if there is something under…
Things I learned the hard way:
1.Women are always right,never argue,you can't win.
2.If a muffler falls off a lawn mower leave it be,it is hot.
3.A dog wagging it's tail will bite.
4.There is a thing called to much of a good thing.
5.Have I mentioned women are always right?
6.Smiling faces don't always mean someone can be trusted.
7.If it looks like a duck,walks like a duck,quacks like a duck it ain't no chicken.
8.Health nuts no matter what will also die someday.
9.Here is where you can post what you learned the hard way.
10.Women are always right.
True story...astronauts had a problem writing in space...NASA spent a million dollars to fix the problem...cosmonauts had the same problem...they fixed it for one dollar...they used a pencil.
Riding a horse,six shooter on my hip, eating beans around the camp fire,sleeping under the stars.
Freedom to go where ever my horse leads no schedule to keep.
Cowboys were wise and smart.Someone asked an old cowboy once what was his horse's name.The cowboy answered you never give something a name that you might have to eat someday.Wise.Cowboys carried a bottle of whiskey in their saddlebags in case of snake bite.They also carried a snake with them.Smart.
Then I think this would get old after a few days.
No AC on hot days.Sleeping in the cold rain.Beans,beans and more beans all the time.
Rethinking my situation I'm better off right where I am.
Lord help us that's just what we need around the OFH(old folks home).
Reading about this super moon it is said to increase chances of natural disasters like hurricanes,tornadoes,floods,earthquakes on and on.
Three in a row they will be.30% larger in size than normal.
Just to be on the safe side I'm preparing for it now.Yours truly is stocking up on tin foil,duct tape and those old fashioned Bobbie pins like Momma always used.Why I''m doing this I have no idea but I am just compelled to do something instead of sitting,waiting on all the heck that will bust out here at the OFH.
Like that guy in Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind who was building a mountain with his mashed potatoes said"this means something"same thing for me with the tin foil,duct tape and the old fashioned Bobbie pins.
Could the world exist without these two modern creations?
Right up there with the wheel and fire they rank in my humble opinion.
Invented in 1953, Water Displacement, 40th formula yes that's what WD-40 stands for,will do everything from cranking your lawn mower to removing bubble gum from a kid's hair. Duct tape was invented in 1942 for military use.Because it waterproofed items it is also called duck tape. Often I see people around the old folks home their heads wrapped tightly with duct tape cause you just know at any time now their head will explode. The tape keeps down the mess.
Breakfast is over and what to do now is the pending question for me.I just ate my grits and fried egg saving my biscuit and sausage and OJ for later.
Sleep,watch TV on my computer,write or stare out the big window.
Ambulance has just left with a resident across the hall from room 31.
Meal times around the old folks home is a popular time for the ambulance to show up.That seems to be the time people get sick.Before meals I must add,it's not the food making them sick.
Just had a drive by,Gary cruising the halls without speaking.
BBQ chicken legs for lunch uggh but homemade veggie soup and a grilled cheese for supper the menu says so not all is lost.
For some reason that song from the kids TV show New Zoo Review is stuck in my head.
It was an amusement park located on Stewart Avenue(now called Metropolitan Avenue)downtown Atlanta when I was a kid.
Maybe from the late 50's till the mid 60's it was open.
Rides like Crazy Rat,games and that great amusement park food.
I always spent my time playing skeet ball trying to win a prize.It was said by some I was gambling,playing a game of chance because most of my trips there were on Church outings.
Baptist can be strict.
But some like to nit pick the little things like that but over look the big stuff like loving and caring.
I didn't know at the time,never did I pay attention but Fun Town was segregated.I was just there for fun.
Martin Luther King I read while searching for information on Fun Town mentioned it in a speech.He said his daughter had wanted to go to Fun Town but she could not because it was white only.
I remember playing the horse racing game(maybe I was a little gambler)there was a bowling alley and seems like maybe a pool.
1966 Fun Town closed it's doors.Way before Six Flags came to Georgia.
Stewart Avenue became famous for car lots,later on a place for criminal behavior,if you were looking for something it could be found there.
What would I do without this big window next to my bed.My window on the world.A small part of it anyway.
Highway US 29 runs from Pensacola,Florida all the way to Maine.
Seems I've always been close by no matter where I lived to lay in bed on those muggy summer nights and hear the whine of the big 18 wheelers going north or south on 29.
In my room.A place of quiet peacefulness.With the blinds closed ear buds on I'm in my own little personal place of sanctuary.
Sometimes that's were I want to be at the old folks home.
Were I don't have to deal with the OT'S (old timers) when they get started up.
It can be very difficult living with people who have short term memory loss.
Maybe well I know that's what wrong with my roomie who constantly changes the TV channel.He just doesn't remember or when he says the same thing over and over.
Scary I'm older than him.
Maybe I repeat myself over and over maybe I repeat myself over...
Things that don't make sense:
1.Wearing a belt with suspenders.
2.Iced coffee.
3.Wearing short pants with snow on the ground(postal workers) white men at any time.
4.Turkeytarians.
5 Health nuts(you're going to die anyway).
6.Painted bricks.
7.Jogging.
8.Why no indisputable photo/video of UFO's with all the phones with cameras.
9.Have I mentioned turkeytarians yet?
10.Shaving cause it just grows back.
Sons of Southern Straight Shooters as we are affectionately called.My assignment with the SSSS was to cause confusion and mayhem to our Brothers and Sisters north of Hogansville,Georgia.
Them Yankees.
Things I would do like upon their entry into the great state of Georgia give them the official are you a Yankee test.
What is that thing that is fury,wags it's tail and goes bow wow?If their answer was dog I knew further investigation was needed.The correct answer should have been dawggg.
Sweet milk or buttermilk with your bowl of cornbread?If they said ewww and gaged you knew on the spot they were Yankees.
Peanuts in your Co Cola or peanuts with your Co cola?This reveals much of our teste's personality.Peanuts in your Co Cola is the correct answer.
Who was the King and what was the number of his car and you get bonus points for naming the correct color of his car?Any answer other than Richard Petty and Petty blue for his car would be an abomination.Long live the King.
By the way.You do know who the Intimidator was don't you?If you don't that would get even a Southern born and raised redneck exiled from 3 states in Dixie and the District of Columbia.
Potted meat,Vienna's and moon pies.If those items are not in your food cabinet chances are you're not from these parts.
In closing I must admit.Those people North of Hogansville,Georgia ain't all that bad,really.
I welcome my Brothers and Sisters from the North with open arms.
And in closing Dear Loved ones,when that great day arrives and you truly realize that Georgia is the greatest State in this here Union,I will personally buy you a Greyhound bus ticket and we shall travel down I-85 to Montgomery,Alabama to the steps of the state Capitol where we shall kneel at the feet of Ole Jeff Davis's stature and give blessings and thanks for being the Chosen Ones living in the Great State of Georgia.
Minding my own beeswax not bothering any soul I see her from the corner of my eye.
It's like I hear that movie Jaws theme in my brain.But this time the shark I mean the little old gray wisp of a woman is cruising fast towards me.My mind is racing what is she up to.
Like a Ninja or a Mafia hired hit women she grabs my ice water off the table and with such uncaring callous emotion and the most hateful look on her face she splatters me with that cold water.
Not a word was spoken between us as she swiftly fled the scene in her wheelchair.
Yes people the old folks home is full of these Mafia Ninja type little old ladies.
Started out with a scratchy throat then a sore throat.That part is gone...I hope.
The head in a vise feeling has kicked in.
Coughing and sneezing.
If I had a fever which I think last night I did is gone.Right now the back of my head is wet with sweat.A few minutes ago after a spell of coughing nausea set in but after turning the AC on big boy is hot setting I'm better.
Maybe a few days down to the Bikini State for some sun and surf I bet.
Laying out on the beach cooking yourself.I can smell Banana Boat suntan lotion now or is Coppertone still around?
The water looks so good and inviting doesn't it?
The warm salty Atlantic or the close by Redneck Rivera of the South Panama City on the Gulf.
Go ahead I know you want to do it.Take a little swim.Wade into the crashing waves.Buy one of those plastic floats and just drift peacefully in the water.
But far be it for me to ruin your vacation no not I.
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