Easily irked

Forgive me Lord but on this last day of 2013 I find myself easily irked.

Didn't see’em but sure did hear’em a visitor down the hall.

Loud talking and using that word that peeves me off every time I hear it spoke.

The H word.

Each time the H word was spoken by loud talking visitor I quenched in agony as if I had been stabbed in the back with a sharp #2 yellow pencil.

Sometimes I think the visitors and residents have the situation switched if you know what I’m talking about.

Back to the H word for some reason it always makes me cringe.

That word is…HUH!…spoken after every question they are asked.

Turn up the volume on your hearing aid or do as George Bush 1 said"read my lips".

Yes Lord forgive me for being so trivial.

Wait I must confess!

I caught myself using said dreaded word.

I'm a hypocrite.

For you elderly people reading this you might remember Emily Litella(Gilda Radner) from SNL who always got things confused and would say "never mind".

As she said...never mind.

It's a job

Black eyed peas
Some collard greens
Cornbread mashed potatoes
Know what'a mean

Hot apple pie
Smothered with butter
Sweet iced tea
Made like Mother's

Corn on cob
Battered fried okra
Cooking all this
It's a job

Congealed green salad
Sliced pear halves
Mayo cheese cherry
Makes me merry

Fruit cake delight
Made with rum
Nuts jellied candy
That's a sight

Made myself hungry
Hope you to
Guess I'm through
Happy New Year's you

What....

What was thatttt!

Maybe I don't want to know.

A blood curling scream of pain or terror coming from the pine tree thicket.

Animal?Human?Or?

You go look.

I don't want to end up as a snack for some unknown creature.

There look I see it!

Never mind.

It's just some of my Haynes kin folk from the hills of Alabama coming for a visit.

2014 I shall...

New Year Resolutions:
1.Don't cuss Walker Texas Jr. silently when he rudely takes control of the TV.
2.Don't cuss Walker Texas Jr. silently when he fusses with the old folks who can't find their room.
3.Don't cuss Walker Texas Jr. silently when he turns his radio on full blast at night.
4.Send WGN TV a thank you email for changing the time they show Walker Texas Ranger...I won't be up that early and will miss it yesssss!
5.Learn to like chicken,chicken legs baked,chicken legs fried,chicken pot pie,chicken goulash for lack of a better word,chicken legs smothered in gravy least I think it's gravy.
6.Steamed carrots and broccoli ...no way Hosea ain't touching that stuff.
7.Take up smoking and drinking.
8.Just testing if you are paying attention with #7.
9.Try being a cool person instead of the redneck I am.
10.Last but not least tell you happy 2014 and I love you!

Why the chicken crossed the road

Someone must have invested in chicken and carrots heavy at WGHS.

For 8 days chicken was on the menu in some sort of way or fashion.

Carrots,steamed carrots are served almost daily.They get creative on how they are served.Sometimes you have to look for them cause they are hid but carrots will be there.

Wish I had not read my breakfast menu.

There it was in black and white.

Chicken bacon.

So that's why the chicken crossed the road.

To get off the menu at WGHS!

Understand now

Oh I understand now.

You can express your opinion but I can only do the same if you agree with me.

Thanks for the explanation.

Surprise

It’s true.

Careful what you wish for.

This morning thinking that sausage with my biscuit would be a nice change for breakfast.

As Gomer Pyle would say “surprise surprise surprise”.

The sausage patty I got.

But no biscuit.

Learn to use a broom

Hungry kid?

Want something to eat at school?

Can't pay for your school meal you say?

Here is a broom sweep the floors for that free meal.

That's what a Georgia Republican congressman wants those po youngins to do.

Shame shame shame.

Why are you Republicans dead set on hurting the people who can least afford it?

Grandma,Grandpa scare them by saying they are going to lose their Social Security that they worked for,the kid down the street who is hungry cut those food stamps,your neighbor who is disabled deny their disability,veterans who you lie to about how they will be took care of for the sacrifice they made for this great country. Yeah those are the folks you pick on.To you they don't matter.

Let's give taxpayer money away to those countries that could care less about us or bail General Motors and Chrysler's out along with big banks.Those are the people you Mr and Ms politician work for.

So Mr and Ms politician here's your broom if voters have any sense you will be needing it on your next job.

I'm not mad just ashamed.

Sometimes

A bird,alone,flying one direction,turning and flying the way it came.

Lost it seemed.

I get that feeling sometimes.

Some people

Some people make me feel........ normal.

Yes Mr B there is a Santa

Mr B one of my roomies,96 years old,blind,paralyzed from a stroke
and myself were talking this morning about Christmas.

One more week Mr B till Christmas .

He was reminiscing about Christmas past when he was a boy.I got tennis shoes,hats,apples and oranges back then he said.

Those were the good Christmases.

Then there was when his Dad died on Christmas day in 1951.

Those were the sad Christmases.

Santa will never come see me again Mr B told me this morning.

Never say never Mr B.

Santa did come around tonight,all fat and jolly in his red suit saying ho ho ho and Mr B did get to see Santa one more time.

Here's to many more Mr B !

Ashamed

I'm ashamed.

Ashamed of my fellow human beings this morning.

Ashamed of the way they talk to people with obvious dementia.

If you are having a bad day or don't have the paientence for the job please make it more pleasant for us,them and just move along.

Light in the sky

This morning laying here in bed I was awaken by the flashing strobe light of a Troup County school bus at the bus stop in front of my window.

7 am every morning like clock work it stops.

But that wasn't the light that got my attention.

In my groggy eyes I seen another bright light a street light I thought but thinking to myself there is no street light.

Big and moving in the western sky slow sleepy me figured it out.

A full moon.

Beautiful.

Hey

Santa said hey ya'll !

Hunting

A hunting we go...hunting we go...hi o the merry o a hunting we go.

Seems there is a new creature out there a flying one that people are hunting.

Have you heard about this crusader in the air thing?

If you shoot one down be prepared maybe for federal prosecution.

I bet these winged things ain't the best of eating but a new law written by a citizen wants hunters to be able to keep body parts of the downed creatures.

But some of the parts you can't keep I  guess for safety reasons.

Can you guess what winged flying creature thing I'm talking about?

Drones.

Yes those drones the government is flying around in our neighborhoods for what reason I can't say.

Maybe it's that bear in the air eye in the sky thing like CW McCall sung about in that song Convoy.

What ever the reason them drones flying around I  guess it's for the best.Protecting us from something I'm sure.

Just be careful when hunting drones,unlike deer,they can shoot back.

It wasn't communion

Laying here breathing like a puppy dog who is mad at something.That is what it sounds like growling.

Something is going through the old folks home.

Lot's are coming down with it.

I'm just about over my little escapade of it.

It started Tuesday night after my shower.Sleep was impossible and when morning came around I knew it was here.

Scratchy throat,coughing and sneezing.

Another sleepless night then Thursday I started on that awful tasting cough syrup and each time the nurse brought it around in that little shot glass it looked liked wine and I wanted to ask for crackers cause I thought it was communion we where going to have.

Guess it worked but on Friday I threw up a couple times after breaking out in a cold sweat after drinking that stuff so no more of that I took.

Saturday was good sorta Sunday better so I'm good thank you.

Friday you know I was feeling bad because I sent supper back just thinking of food made me queasy.

So there you have my weekend and I sure hope that bug skips you and yours this Holiday season.

Rain

Rain all day
Fall it may
But for me
It is okay

Conspiracy

Why had I not thought of this before...the reason chicken is on the menu so much...a cow conspiracy.

Everyone knows except Mikey

I see where they messed up.

Watching a movie about a family that is having a bit of bad luck.

The house!

It was that multi story old house sitting on a hill out in an isolated area.

Anyone who has ever seen a horror movie knows a place like that has to be evil.No need for the sound effects of rain,thunder and howling dogs to warn you.

I have always been wary of any house with an attic or basement.

Everyone knows that's where the bad things happen.

Send Mikey down into the dark,musty damp basement.We all know something is hiding,waiting and is going to have Mikey for a snack.

Why hasn't somebody taken a little time out of their busy life and taught Mikey to never go down into the basement?

Memory still stings

A small for his age shy super sensitive to words spoken little boy unsure of everything.

Me.

That describes my life as a kid.

I think every unkind mean spirited word ever spoken to me is stored in my memory for easy recall.

Why are they saying these things I wondered.

Am I that bad?

During this Christmas season I remember one 55 years or so ago.Grownups who had boys my age told me that Santa wasn't coming to see me because I didn't get a letter from Santa like their boys.

Over the years I've wondered what was the purpose in saying that to a little kid.

If they wanted to hurt me they succeeded.

The memory of that still stings.

Walk away

Just walk away
People places things
All the trouble
They do bring

Thank God

Watching documentary about WW2...we might think our lives are not so rosy...least no Nazi concentration camp for us...thank God.

Ba Hum Bug part 2

Not seeing many people with the Christmas spirit.

$6,100

Just heard a Toyota dealership bragging they had 15 Toyota's under $15,000.

I could have bought almost 3 Firebirds for that price back in 1976.Mine cost $6,100.

Scroouge lives

Even I couldn't make this up!

A Republican Governor wants parents to skip buying Christmas presents for their kids this year and send that money to him for his re election campaign.

I always knew some politicians where greedy but seems this guy has Scroougness down pat.

Ba Hum Bug!

See things clearly

I just knew it.

If I lived long enough this day would come.

Heard on an international news agency which will remain nameless this report that makes my heart flutter and skip a beat(no it's not that angina thing acting up) with excitement.

Fried foods like taters, chicken and burgers are good for you.Seems there was a error in this cholesterol scare of the past few years.Cholesterol it seems we need and is good for us.In fact the American people aren't getting enough grease in their diet.

And this diabetic thing is just a ho- ax as Lewis Grizzard would say.We be sweet is ok.Eat more Snickers and Zag Nut candy bars.

Phooey on salads,broccoli and cauliflower.I had the suspicion that healthy eating stuff was just a Communist plot to kill us all anyway.

As I lay here in a no jog mode smoking a cigar working on my second bottle of Jim Beam eating my 4th corn dog I see things so clearly now(well it was clear before I started on the second bottle of Jim).

Yes my fat out of shape Brothers of the round counter stool at Krystal eat a few for me and while we being healthy chili cheese fries sound good but don't forget my diet Dr Pepper don't want to overdo this healthy eating thing.

Sleep

Sleep
My friend
Come soon
Again

Sinner I be

I'm a hypocrite
Sinner I be
Jesus knows me
This is true

I slip fall
From His grace
God does see
Everything and all

Show mercy Lord
You know heart
By your blood
I've been bought

Maybe they are

Something about this just don't feel right.

People on Facebook posting these little things that say share if you love God and Jesus and if you don't something bad will happen to you.I haven't looked but I'm pretty sure God and Jesus are a bit busy with world peace,starving children and helping sick people than worrying about how many likes on Facebook they get.

If they did have a Facebook page I would be there right now instead of wasting my and your time here.

Come to think of it maybe they are on Facebook.

But it's called the Bible.

Are you Southern...

Are you Southern...
Do you drink sweet ice tea through a straw?
Do you eat chicken with a fork?
When thinking of BBQ is it pork only?
Bet you're an Auburn fan now?
It's breakfast dinner and supper right?
Ever sup coffee from a saucer?
Know what Ga Lee means?
Who Minnie Pearl was?
Color of Richard Petty's race car?
What where the Atlanta Crackers?
Know who Bestoink Dooley is?
Officer Don?
Uwee gooey?
3?
Grits or oatmeal?
Know where the Grand Ole Opry is?
Redneck Rivera?
Ever ate a Plum Granny?
Fireworks in Georgia are banned but firing your AR 15 into air on holidays is legal?
Go War Eagles right?

Believe in you

Santa what I want
Big ole Harley
Low fast loud
Stick out in the crowd

Make mine black
Need that sissy seat
That'a be cool
Really sweet

Those black boots
Motorcycle jacket to
Wrote on back
Jesus loves you

Come on Santa
This all ask
You can do
Still believe in you

Bust your bubble

Rudolph the reindeer
Nose so red
Doing that smack
Wonder ain't dead

Frosty the snowman
Melting away
He strung out
Most of day

Old Saint Nick
Working them elves
Treat'em like slaves
He so sick

Had to do
Bust your bubble
Everything I said
It be true

Learn my name

They never know your name
Buddy pal friend
Fake put on
Think a shame

Take the time
Learn my name
Buddy pal friend
It's John Lee Haynes

Oh so sound

Take me away
Into great beyond
When trials troubles
On earth done

Up in sky
Where I be
Rest at last
Want for me

Lay me down
Body of mine
Sleep in peace
Oh so sound

24

24 more days of this.

O woes

O woes is me
Lunch was a bust
Know should be thankful
But burger fries I lust

Chicken something with gravy
Dressing on side
Hard as I tried
That broccoli couldn't hide

A Big Bufford from Checkers
Onion rings
My mouth waters
Thinking of them things

Make it I will
Worry me not
Make it to supper
Pintos me will fill

I was

I was Duck Commander before Duck Commander was cool.

They called us hippies

Call me

Call me redneck
White trash
Know what am
Not trying fool your a..

Like me or not
Do as please
Speaking the truth
Following my roots

Some things done
Plenty I ain't
Judge me
No you can't

Not putting on show
Real as can be
This I know
Going be me

Why Ben is disgusted

For my Christmas day dinner I'm thinking BBQ ribs,baked beans,crinkle cut fries and a Dr Pepper.

Enough already of turkey.

America would have been better off if people had listened to Ben Franklin.

He wanted to name the turkey as our national symbol instead of the eagle.

Ben was tired I bet of eating turkey also so by naming the turkey as our symbol it would be protected like the eagle is today.

If his plan had worked there would be no turkey sausage,bacon,this and that made from turkey.

Yes Ben was a smart man,ahead of his time,I can see it now,the humble turkey as our symbol of peace,honor and bravery.

And I  could get real pork sausage with my biscuit instead of that turkey.

After much study and investigation I've discovered why Ben is frowning and has that look of disgust on his face...he just had a turkey Whopper from BK!

Texas Walker Jr

Auburn Alabama game...several of us old guys sitting around watching...getting exciting now...great football game...few minutes to play...it happened...never fails...Texas Walker Jr...commander of TV remote...starts his afternoon channel surfing...dang!

Granny in line

Attention Walmart shoppers
My Granny in line
Please be kind
Don't you pop'er

Granny old
She can be slow
Don't knock her down
When she in stoe

Yes times she drool
But Granny be cool
She ain't no fool
Knows her tools

She just went in
Looking for a quarter inch ratchet
Be nice to Granny
She carries a hatchet

What Lester would say

As Lester Maddox 75th Governor of the Great State of Georgia would say...phooey!.

G R E E D Y

Watching the news about shoppers on Black Friday who got a bit carried away.

It reminded me of people in 3rd world countries scrambling,fighting for a bag of rice.

Not fighting for food here but it's TV's.

Has it got to the point Americans are that desperate?

Or maybe the word is G R E E DY.

Bah hum bug

Christmas songs on Willie's radio...not exactly tuned to station...bah hum bug.

Make you fat

Cornbread and butter beans
Food I like
Rasied on that
Make you fat

Butter milk cornbread
Oh so good
Eating like that
Make you fat

Taters and biscuits
Add some onions
Nothing wrong that
Make you fat

Strick o lean
Fried fat back
Good know that
Make you fat

Cook with lard
Simple and pure
We know that
Make you fat

I B Fat
Be my name
But guess what
You know that

Happy Black Friday!

Happy Black Friday!

Did you get up early this morning and go stand in line at the store of your choice in the freezing cold hoping for a bargain?

If you did good for you.

If you didn't good for you.

If you did that means you are feeling good I hope and had some expendable cash.Maybe you just liked the atmosphere,comradely or just the fun of it all.

If you didn't maybe it was just to cold,over did it yesterday or going to do it the high tech way of shopping online.

When thinking about this story it was going to be the negative part of Black Friday but after much thought no.Why be negative,let people enjoy what they enjoy.

I just hope Granny didn't act up and got into a fist fight.

You win with the bargains the stores win with all the customers.

All I will say is have fun and if by chance there is any hot chocolate left in your thermos bottle bring it on by room 31 SW.We like hot chocolate.

Thank you in advance.

No big deal

Holidays are no big deal for me.

Happy seeing them get here happier when they go.

Being alone is no big deal either.

Spent a few holidays going through the drive thru at some hamburer place.

No big deal.

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving Day
Food friends families
Turkey and dressing
Count your blessings

Think of those
Many less fortunate
Those who are
Sick hungry old

Be so thankful
God blessing you
Take nothing granted
Thankful not disenchanted

Some may

Green congealed salad
Makes me happy
Some may think
I  be daffy

Birds

22 degrees when I woke up.

Something was noticed.

No hawks flying,no crows fussing,no birds seen or heard at all.

Just 2 lone cranes flying toward the rising sun.

Green bean casserole

Happy green bean casserole day to you!

Let's talk about this green bean casserole stuff.

I will get to the point real quick.

Don't like it never have never will.

Why waste a can of french fried onions on green bean casserole.

Just give me that can of french fried onions.

My Momma was smart she never made green bean casserole.She spared me from that traumatic experience  of eating anything made with cream of mushroom soup.

I do have a hankering for lime green congealed salad.

Thank you Momma.

Down here in Georgia

Cold and and windy but only a snowflake or two seen.

Down here in Georgia a single snowflake seen it's an official go on the record qualifies as a snow.

Always tomorrow.

Snow patrol

I'm on snow patrol 2013...blinds open...looking...hoping...come on snow.

Call me Johnny

I've been thinking.

Yeah scary huh.

Talking with my roomie Mr B about each day something is failing us as we age.Hearing,sight,memory things like that.

Mr. B is 96 but very sharp in his thinking.Hard of hearing and blind he is but mind is sharp.

Thinking of that second childhood we are suppose to enter as we age.

Some might say I  never out grew the first one.

Bring mine on.I'm so ready for it.Not going to fight it going with the flo.

My first childhood could have been better so this one I'm enjoying.

I was the obedient courteous child first time around worrying about everything some things real some imagined.

This time I will be my alter ego bad boy self.

Not really but I plan on enjoying this one.

No one to worry about always conjuring up the worst possible scenario.

Carefree that will be me this time around.

This second childhood thing not all that bad.

Hey you can even call me Johnny!

Lose my mind

Easy I  think
Lose my mind
Might be fun
Crazy be kind

Fit right in
Fly over cuckoo nest
Be like rest
At looney bin

Think I will
Do that today
Lose my mind
Never again find

Same o

Day is over
It is done
Same o same o
Boring no fun

Same o menu
Breakfast was good
Lunch and supper
Nothing super duper

On the TV
Same o thing
Reruns all day
Boring I say

People come go
Same o ones
Sometimes they can
Be the show

Day in old folks home
Same o thing
It can really
Drive you insane

Redneck romantic rhyme

Your Valentine poem
Just for youse
Youse I loves
Really I doose

Sticking to you
Like a bugger on fanger
Me loves youse
Mo than my Ford Ranger

Youse kinda pretty
Little bit smart
Don't even stank
When you fart

My spell checker going wacky
Wonder why
Yeah I know
My poem be tacky

But I loves youse
Telling you true
Now tells me
Don't youse loves me to

Till I have to go

Confused and bewildered
Old and sick
Why am I here
Please don't cuss or kick

Once you loved me
Your Mom your Dad
Sometimes I don't know
Why I act bad

Look into my eyes
I'm still there
When thinking clear
I wonder if you care

I know
When thinking clear
I'm a burden
I'm sorry dear

This disease
Has taken me away
Never did I want
To be this way

They call it Alzheimer's
Some just dementia
Both the same
I call it mental pain

I'm still me
I love you so
Please love me
Till I have to go

Mudville

I see no joy in Mudville tonight.

My heart is burden and heavy with thoughts.

Word

Word for today...paientence.

Sky gray

Sunday morn
Windy cold day
I'm blue sky gray
Feel all alone

Here is your hug

To hug or not to hug.

I was kidding a friend here at the old folks home telling him I was going to give him a big ole country boy hug.

Nope,won't do that,out of the question he said.

That got me thinking.

I knew my parents loved me but showing affection was something we never did.No kisses no hugs no I love you that I can remember.

It was something never done.

I know Momma was raised the same way.I've heard her brother question why they never where showed affection.

Things just run in families I guess and it gets passed down generation to generation.

Maybe a lot of family problems could be solved with more hugs,more reassuring of that you are loved.

The night Daddy died,just me and him in the room,I did something never had I done.

I hugged his neck,told him I love him and kissed him on his forehead.

He nodded his head,eyes closed he said he was sorry,sorry about what I never knew,I told him he had nothing to be sorry for.

He went into a coma and died a few hours later.

I almost waited to long to tell him I loved him.

I would not hesitate to hug him if he walked into this room right now.

By the way I did give my friend a hug this afternoon.

Fear

Death I don't fear so much...just getting to that point scares me.

Skipping around like...

More football follies.

NFL ref fined for talking badly to player.

Player fined for talking bad to another and hurting his feelings.

College player flagged for dangerous play.He dived over the huddle on a play.

More slipping and sliding so they won't get tackled by Big Bubba.

More of that skipping around like little 6 year old girls.

What would the old timey players think of all this I wonder?

Dope money

I heard Momma and Daddy ask each other this many times.

Got any dope money?

Yes dope money for the dope wagon.

Before you whip out your phones and start dialing Crime Stoppers let me explain.

All is good,calm down.

Years ago in the cotton mills there was a man who pushed a wagon through the mill offering snacks and Cokes.

At one time Co Colas had small amounts of get this cocaine.They where called dope.

So the named given to the wagon with snacks was called the dope wagon and your lunch money was called dope money.

Around the old folks home they have just a snack cart with Cokes,juice,crackers and such.

But several times a day the nurses push around what I could call a real dope wagon.It has the resident's medications on it.

So there you have it.

Momma and Daddy's dope money for the dope wagon.

Banana sandwich

After all that good food of yesterday I'm eating simple.

Yesterday I had collards,corn,green beans,peas,turkey,dressing,deviled eggs,potato salad,sweet potato and topped it off with real home made banana pudding.

No wonder I.B.Fat.

Today I want a banana sandwich with mayo.Simple,maybe tater chips on side.

Don't want an Elvis type banana sandwich.Hold the bacon,jelly,peanut butter and don't fry mine.

All I need to finish out my meal is an icy pitcher of cherry Kool Aid.

Youse guys

They cover the South like dew.

Yankees.

I swear there are more now in Georgia than when Mr Sherman took that slow march from Atlanta over to Savannah.

But not to worry.

We loves youse guys now let's go drink a soda pop!

November 22 1963

Friday,November 22,1963,Dallas,Texas.

East Newnan Elementary,Newnan,Georgia,me,11 years old,6th grade,Ms Hatchet's class,2 pm.

50 years ago.

Principal Hemphill came over the loud speaker telling us that President John Kennedy had been shot and was dead.

It turned off cold and rainy that day.

Watching the black and white TV as Air Force 1 brought the body of the President back to Washington,D.C.

Mrs Kennedy wearing that same blood splattered dress of earlier in the day.

An ambulance backed up to Air Force 1 and the casket was lowered and loaded.

Still vivid in my memory just like it was happening again.

Some days are burnt into your memory forever.

This was one of them.

More country sayings:

More country sayings:

1.Deef(hard of hearing).

2.Bless your heart(I don't really care).

3.Zinc(what aunt Lema calls the sink).

4.Rabbit running across your grave(chill down your spine).

5.Plum sorry,forget,etc(totally big time messed up).

6.Fixin to(I will get around to it sooner or later).

7.If they can live with it I can live without it(Daddy's saying).

8.Shore nuff(agreeing with someone or that's the truth).

9.Fair to middlin(so so or in the middle).

10.Tree top tall and fine as frog hair split 4 ways(all is good).

Gobble gobble ya'll

Turkey day around the old folks home.

Staff brought home cooked items,turkey,ham and all that goes with it.

Lot of everything really.

Celebrating a week early so folks can be with their families next week.

Nuts

Nuts.

No not them.

Not those either.

Nuts,the kind you eat help you live longer a new report says.

How about that.

Finally I've been doing something right in my life.

Green peanuts,raw peanuts,boiled peanuts,parched peanuts,peanuts in a jar,peanuts in a can,peanuts with salt,peanuts with no salt,peanuts any kind any way.

Bring them on.

Snug and smug

I have nothing to prove.Not trying to impress anyone.

Call me crazy,nuts,wacko I don't worry about it.

For me I  know whats what.

I am smart enough to know all I don't know or understand.

But I am smart enough to be open to things that just might be.

Listen to this and make up your own mind.Don't be a sheep and follow what people want you to follow.

Think for yourself.

Just maybe there is a snowball's chance that we are not alone.

Don't be so snug and smug thinking we be all there is.

DAWGG

Woo Hoo.

BBQ sandwich for lunch.Ain't going to complain.Meat loaf for supper.

Got enough nerve to wear my Auburn tigers t shirt yesterday.After that Auburn Georgia football game of Saturday I thought it best waiting a few days before wearing it.Didn't want to make the natives to mad.

Just had a student nurse from Auburn come in and give me my insulin shot and aspirin and I could not resit making a smart butt comment about that game.Found out she is excuse my language... a Yankee.I was nice my Southern Brethren and didn't even give her the test.You know the test where you ask them what you call those 4 legged fuzzy things with a wagging tail that go bow wow.If they don't answer DAWGG you know we pray for'em.

Helps us Lord they multiplying.

So much for...

Woke up to the sound of a cat or at first I thought it was.

It was a little old Lady screaming stop that.Most likely they where giving her morning meds.

The sounds of someone dragging chairs across a hard floor that sound like fingernails scrapping a black board.

Mr Paul calling for Margret who I guess was his wife.He is 85 and is from NC.I asked him if Billy the famous preacher was any kin and he said yes they where brothers.Really I think not but Mr Paul does have a way with words.Cuss words.

Willie is moaning waiting for his pain pill.

Someone is on the pa system but way down here I can't understand what they are saying.

Sounds of the old folks home.

So much for sleeping late.

Does to me

That's a full moon
Chain me to a tree
You don't want to see
What a full moon does to me

When so sweet

My sugar is up
No eat candy or cake cup
Life be bleak
When so sweet

Dream of chocolate cake
Hint for folks to bake
Life be bleak
When so sweet

Dr Pepper be great
That no debate
Life be bleak
When so sweet

Snickers peanut nut butter
They make heart flutter
Life be bleak
When so sweet

Life of diabetic
Not trying to be poetic
Life be bleak
When so sweet

It good!

Night Nurse Teresa B
Brought chili-e
So good
Thank you from the south side hood

Taters gravy biscuits of cheese
A meal that do please
I be fat
That be a fact

Ms Amber 
Thank you so much
I don't think
That food will make it to lunch

Will just have to wear off

Four years old,Standing Rock,Alabama.

Someone decided the road in front of the house needed a coat of tar on it.So my curious four year old mind was intrigued watching the paving of the road on that hot summers day.

What else was there to do but play in a ditch with my faithful loyal loving dog Lassie or swing on the swing set.

In my mind I remember thinking when those folks leave I'm going to try out that road on my training wheel equipped bicycle.I being a country child knew only of dusty red clay roads.This was a real paved road.

They left.

I did.

The road was still bubbly hot and sticky and thinking to myself dirt roads rode better.

I seen a car on the fresh tarred road headed for me.

I might add at four years old I wasn't the brightest star in the sky and why I did this next I have no excuse.

The car scared me.

Jumping off the bike into the hot bubbly tar seemed like the thing to do at the time.

It wasn't.

My little ole self was covered head to toe with that sticky tar.

Poor Momma.

Off to the tub or big galvanized tub I'm not sure she rushed me.

Tar is like bubble gum when it gets into your hair and when it hardens on your body lets just say it ain't easy to remove.

My tow head was full of harden tar along with my body parts not covered by clothes.

Momma scrubbed and scrubbed and soap wasn't working so she use Tide washing powders.

I can still hear her say some of this will just have to wear off.

I learn a lesson that day,don't ride your bike on a freshly tared road and by all means stay on the bike don't jump off it.

Already knew that

Rejoice fat boys!

Good news my partners of the round food table.

Just read something that will make us happy.

Chocolate helps prevent belly fat and obesity.

Nuts of all kind help prevent some types of cancers.

Cookies,oatmeal cookies what they do that's good I don't know but they are good for you.

If I live long enough the day will come when Big Mac's and those delicious french fries and a Dr Pepper will turn out to be health food after all.

But us fat boys already knew that.

Cornbread fed

Heard a new term this morning.

Cornbread fed.

That's me cornbread fed and raised.

Till this very day cornbread with my peas and beans,in vegetable soup and chili.

A slice of hot out the stove cornbread with mayo on it or butter.

Buttermilk and cornbread,sweet milk and cornbread.

Fried cornbread,flitters,fritters I'd rather have a stack of Johnny cakes with butter and syrup than pancakes any day.

Mexican cornbread,cornbread muffins,cornbread sticks,hush puppies.

Cornbread.

Van down by the river

Is it just me or can you see it also?

Mayor Ford from Toronto reminds me so much of Chris Farley former member of the Saturday Night Live cast who died a few years ago.

When watching Mayor Ford rant and rave in that video while under the influence of something I swear it's Chris Farley doing that van down by the river skit.

Anyway

Looks like rain
That's ok
Staying inside today
Anyway

Nothing to do
Lay here and think
Mind on brink
Anyway

Thinking of past
Things didn't last
Forgetting things forgot
Anyway

Don't tell

Kitchen made mistake...real sausage at breakfast...hope same tomorrow...our secret...don't tell.

My big ole...

Me and my big ole dish.

Back in the early 80's I read,studied about and finally got one of the things.

The UPS man(love seeing that big brown truck stopping in front of the house bringing new play things)brought about what seemed like a dozen pasteboard boxes on a bright sunny hot summers day.

I was in business.

My neighbor Raymond who was like my second Daddy and myself got to work.

Putting that 12 foot dish together went smoothly.After a days time it was done.

Next digging the hole.3 foot deep 3 foot wide with a big black iron pole set in the center and filled with sack after sack of concrete.Make sure the pole is leveled and true and wait.A couple of days passed by and it was time.Time to set the dish on the pole.Have help with this step those mesh dishes are heavy.

Time for the big show.

With TV,satellite receiver on a picnic table we where ready to tune in the birds.Wish it was that simple there are a few adjustments here and there to be done,

Well doggy as Jed Clampett would say after a little fiddling I found a satellite.

A Mexican satellite.

From 23,000 miles up in the sky over the equator I was watching TV.

At the time there where 18 C band satellites that where available.

With my copy of Oribt in hand I was like a kid on Christmas Day.Watching this and that TV from here to yonder,TV news behind the scenes watching Dan Rather getting ready,down on Spacenet 1 channel 17 where folks must have been acrobats because they where doing things to this day I ain't figured out what they where doing,24 hours of TV watching pleasure.

Yes I did like that big ole dish.

Dream pretty

Day is over
Night is here
Darkness prevails
Nothing to fear

Sleep tight
Dream pretty
Don't you worry
Everything alright

See you in the morn
Our day will begin
Remember this
You are my friend

Miss thee

Little ham key
How I  miss thee
Dit dot
Fun we had alot

Blessed

Blessed more than I deserve.

Goony Bird

It's official.

Around the old folks home I'm called Big Head John Haynes.

On my knee pain patch last night there it was my initials BHJH.

They will come around today and give me a new resident ID bracelet with BHJH on it I'm sure.

As a kid my ears where unproportionally big for my head.They flapped like wings when the wind blew.At times I could fly if the wind was strong enough really I could but only for a few feet.

I was so thrilled and happy when my head grew matching my ears.

Big Head John sounds so much better than being called Goony Bird because of my big ears as a kid.

Where's Andy

Where's Andy
Dead or alive
Is it a ho-ax
Will Andy come back

Yonder

Fear death
Life I only know
Sure of beyond
That Heavenly home

What holds me here
Often I wonder
What I read
Better over yonder

My new favorite TV commercial

Fireplace

Fireplace
On winters day
Smell of smoke
Great I say

Take me back
Another time
Life way was
Everything fine

Simple times
Stress less
All that done
Was for best

Come night
Light the room
Peaceful be
No fright

Dark skeletons

Some things you will never know about me.

Nobody will and I'm not telling.

Just me and God know the truth,the whole truth nothing but the truth.

Nothing we do in our life is really hid.

Sooner or later all is known.

If we make it out this life un caught the book of life shall reveal all.

I have secrets,dark skeletons I hope that never see the light of day and I'm sure you do also.

The moral of the story is this...I can't judge anyone,you shouldn't try to judge anyone only God has the authority to do that.

Gosh darn

I'm in such a gosh darn cheerful mood today.

My subject shall be about puppies,kitties, flowers blooming in spring.

No more of this depressing real subjects of people starving,the Philippines wiped out by a typhoon then struck by a earthquake.No more talk hush your mouth how governments don't exactly tell the truth on all matters.Everything is fine just like in the Wizard of Oz.

No more doubtful thinking from me all is good,innocent and pure.

Everyone tells the truth no one lies and little children are safe and their bellies are full of food.

People of all colors are treated the same.

The world is perfect full of God's love and we each show that love to those around us.

No more of that real life stuff will I write about.

Trying

I'm being nice today...

Eating ice cream in the dark

Interesting night.

Power went off a bit after 7 pm just as I was being wisked away to the shower.Had to turn around and cancel that escapade.

So I'm laying in bed on my back eating chocolate ice cream in the dark.Think I  did good no real big mess that I  can see.It is a talent...eating ice cream in the dark...laying flat on your back...yay me...I have a talent.

By the way yesterday was an excellent food day.

Country fried steak sandwich with fries and to top it off someone brought me a Whopper and onion rings.I ate the onion rings but gave the Whopper away.

And thank God for electricity ...sure miss it when it's gone.

Home home in LaGrange (edited from 7/2013)

Home home in LaGrange
Where the Olympians trained
Home home in LaGrange
And the workers do strain

Home home in LaGrange
Don't disagree with those who run the town
Home home in LaGrange
They run you into the ground

Home home in LaGrange
Does City Hall care at all 
Home home in LaGrange
They just kick'ya in the b....

Home home in LaGrange
If you don't live on Vernon you don't belong
Home home in LaGrange
Where most don't know whats really going on

Home home in LaGrange
Where crooks and thieves abound
Home  home in LaGrange

And that's just downtown

No help at all

I need a rest.

Worked hard all last night unloading a 18 wheeler truck with no help.

Not only did I unload the truck I drove it to be unloaded with no help.

Not only did I drive the truck to be unloaded I parked it in an almost impossible spot with no help I may add.

I was so sleepy unloading that truck by myself with no help I might add I just wanted to take a nap but I had no help and could not.

I guess you have figured out without any help I may add this was all just a dream.

Will share

Have jar of peanut butter...searching for woman with soda crackers...will share.

Cart before the horse

Why not give us old folks here at the home a medium size glass of red wine at bed time instead of those awful narcotics.

It's a natural product.Helps calm the savage beast so restful slumber is possible.Washes away that bad cholesterol and helps your heart.

I write this as I'm sipping on iced apple juice which contains arsenic.

Sometimes we do put the cart before the horse.

Come for thee

The big black Caddy just slowly drove by
It did stop oh my oh my
Someone has been set free
One day it will come for thee

Thanks to the Monkees for inspiration

Here we come
Walking down your street
Like to have fun with
Everyone we meet

Hey hey we are politicians
We just like messing around
You better be careful now
We are in your town

Everything we say is true
If the price is right
Many things we can
Do for you

Hey hey we are politicians
We just like messing around
You better be careful now
We are in your town

If I'm caught in a lie
Turn the tables I will
It's just politics
I will deny

Hey hey we are politicians
We just like messing around
You better be careful now
We are in your in town

The problem is

Let me enlighten everyone with my Southern wisdom.

The problem is not us in wheelchairs or with disabilities.

The problem is the way people perceive us.

I never have

Very compassionate for the Pope to greet people in wheelchairs.

He told them not to be ashamed of their disability.

Thank you but I never have.

Chicken Little

Chicken Little was right...the sky is falling...least a satellite is...where and when no one knows...invest in a crash helmet.

Ban this

Just ban everything...food...cars...guns...just drink water and breathe air...wait that will kill ya also!

Big Poppa at his best

Doughnuts,microwave popcorn and frozen pizza I like.

They have trans fats along with many other foods I enjoy.

The government don't like trans fats.

The government(FDA) going to ban trans fats in food.

Big Poppa at his best.

Telling grown folks what and not to eat.

There is a group of folks out there that are on a power ego trip that just want to be bossy pushy know it all do as I say not as I do types.

I've seen video of those White House suppers that they put on for all those foreign leaders.

Fillet minion and sushi and such.

You politicians eat that.

Let me eat my frozen pizza and microwave popcorn

Breaking news!

Breaking news!

WSB TV Atlanta ,Georgia has the water pipe breaks covered.

From the air and with ground troops they are on the scene.

From a gusher to a trickle.

Knock to the head with a big stick.

This NFL bulling thing.

All bulling problems I have a cure for it.

When I was a little boy about 8 years old there was a neighborhood kid about 14 who bullied me.

I was faster so I could out run him and he never caught me.His bulling was just verbal calling me every cuss word that a 14 year old knew.

Daddy told me what to do.

He said get you a big stick,go sit on the hood of the car,wait on him.

Sure enough I did as Daddy said,got me a stick,sat on the hood of the car and waited.

Here he came down Juniper Street just a cussing me while riding his bike.

I waited till he got up close to me.

I took care of the problem.

I knocked him off his bike with that stick.

Problem solved.

Never again did he bully me.

Daddy was smart.

That is all it takes with most bullies.

One knock to the head with a big stick.

That devilish mean streak

I think I'm a bad man.

Maybe I just have a devilish mean streak in me.

At times I almost give in to this uncontrollable urge I have.

Let me explain.

When so called able bodied people tower over me in my wheelchair and they seem to be patronizing me just because I am at times I feel like putting on a little show.

I want to start doing my southernized hand signal talking pretending I can't hear them.

I so want to reassure them with my middle finger that they are number 1 in my book.

I want to grin and drool like I'm in another world or least another zip code from them.

I want them to have that grin on their face that says shoot fire I'm so glad I ain't this dude.

Yes I could go on but won't.

That mean devilish streak might take over.

Rough type of life

From the hills of Alabama
Granddaddy made his living
Making that mash
That was good for sipping

Against the law
What he did
Rough type of life
He got shot in the jaw

Loved his dogs
Coon hunter he be
Answered to no one
Granddaddy was free

Granddaddy he lives in me
I'm his grandson that is true
Granddaddy knew you only a while
I do miss you

I see

I see
A tree
Yellow leaves
Falling free

I see
Cloudy sky
And hawks
Flying high

I see
Friends too
Blessed I
For you

I see
God's love
All around
Love abounds

Bits and pieces

Bits and pieces from the news.

6 ft 325 pound football player claims he was bullied by another player.

Should have seen that one coming the way theses pro players been sissifing up the game lately.

Man prints T shirts.

Has NSA(national security agency)emblem on front.

Motto is we be peeping while you be sleeping.The only government agency that really listens to you.

NSA is mad.Gonna sue man.

Wish I had thought up that.

Zombified

Your mission for today if you choose to accept.

Your quest.

Search for life.Not intelligent life but just life.Search for life that hasn't been Zombified.

I see people walking around with this look like there has been an error in their programming  like they just received an 404 error code.

Oh.

I forgot.

It's election day.

People are Bestoinkified.

Never mind.

Old Big Head

Some around here call me Old Big Head John Haynes.

Here I'm caught getting ready for another day of mixing,mingling and socializing.

Double standard

Why can Kanye West wear this battle flag of the Confederacy on his jacket sleeve and be touted as as doing something good?

Why if I wear this battle flag of the Confederacy on my jacket sleeve I'm touted as a racist?

Double standard.