Let me complain

Things with my health are getting worse.Not complaining here it’s something to write about when nothing else comes into my mind Let me be honest guess I am complaining. Maybe it will help someone out there going through this part of their life.I don’t think I have gave up completely yet.There is still life in me.My brain is still working even if I do have senior moments from time to time.My body is wearing out wasting away from the Kulgleburg Welander Syndrome elcrapo thing and being diabetic doesn’t help at all.I’m not walking anymore.The bed is where I stay mostly.Thank God for this adjustable bed it has been a blessing from God.My power chair has also been a blessing and the patient lift has made things so much easier.After last December 2010 when I ended up in the hospital really was the start of it all going down hill.It just knocked me down and I guess giving up seemed like the easy thing to do. For a long time sitting up was impossible I have heard people say the room is spinning Well when sitting up whew boy it was like a carnival ride.Nausea every time and a few times I thought I would just lay down in the floor and die,it was that bad. I have to depend on people now for just about everything.I hate being a burden.I know what the future holds.Several times I have made up my mind about going to a nursing home.I don’t really want to go but sooner or later I have to give it serious thinking.Some pain now when being moved.My knee on the right leg seems to be frozen and it doesn’t want to bend.Maybe I’m being a big baby but it hurts.That is one reason I don’t use the power wheelchair as much.Hurts just sitting in it with the knee problem.My hips I’m sure have been knocked out of place from all the falls I taken over the years.Some pain at times with them.I use to never worry about this but everything just started happening so quick.I could walk and take care of myself and having to have others help does take away from my pride or ego call it what you want.Some say everything has been planned out from the start for each of our life.I really don’t know.All I know is it sure gets hard at times just keeping going on.