Laugh if you may but it's good as any explanation I've heard.
The Oreo cookie fairly I think is in cahoots with Ufo's,Unicorns,Bigfoot and all those other things everyone knows is real but just don't have good physical evidence to back up their claim.
Just like we all know Jimmy Hoffa is buried at Yankee Stadium 10 foot down in a 55 gallon can.He's there but we just can't find him.
Everyone has seen flying saucers yeah even you but your just to chicken to admit it.
Ghost and hauntings,Now I know for a fact I'm not normal(thank goodness)but never ever have I had the pleasure of meeting one.Least I don't remember.
The Mafia,doesn't exists but it's there.
So back to what all this is about.
The Oreo cookie fairy payed another late night visit.Left was a 4 pack of cookies.Surely the fairy sprinkles me with pixie dust so I blank out or they are sneaky and wait till I start snoring loudly before making an entrance.
That's what the warden in Cool Hand Luke told the prisoners.
I've faced that predicament myself a few times.Can't be understood.Am I speaking a foreign tongue?When I get excited I do tend to stutter or get tongue tied.That could explain alot.
If I'm not careful slipping into my natural dialect is real easy.That would be Southern backwoods never seen the sun shine redneck watch this a redneck's last words language.
Honestly most folks can understand me ok.Sometimes those people"God Help'em and show them the evil of their ways"of Yankee persuasion have no idea what in the world I'm trying to say.
I just get this blank stare with the word huh emerging from their vocal cords.Trying to converse with the younger generation is another challenge.Anyone younger than 40 years old don't even know what time of the day to eat.
To these children"God Help'em"trying to explain what supper is could be a losing battle.It's breakfast,dinner and supper not breakfast,lunch and dinner.Poor things get so confused at times they don't even know if it's breakfast or lunch so they made up this word called brunch.
I know,I'm blessed,being brought up speaking proper English.
So with all that said think I'll sit in my cheer by the winder or lay my head on a piller cause all this typing has made my fanger ache.
First on my mind this morning is those dog coward hideous ISIS and their brutal beheading of American journalist.In my opinion they are the scum of the Earth and may a just as equal brutal death come to them.
Now for St Louis.This black/white hate has risen it's ugly racist head again.I think this Country will never be free.
Locally 12 year old is suspected of armed robbery.Was this kid raised by jackals out in the wilderness or did he really have parents?Obviously not caring parents.
We still have hope but I think it will be the second coming of my Lord Jesus Christ that will be the cure.
Yesterday it was noticed,a feeling of static electricity,the hair on my arms bristled up,that feeling something big was about to explode amongst us.
From my watch point I could see restlessness in residents.That blank stare and shuffling of their feet as they wander endlessly.
A feeling of sadness draped over me as I watched a Lady with her walker pulling her suit case behind as she hunted for an exit saying she wanted to go home.
Lord Jesus just take me on before I get in that shape.
I feared no evil as I rolled into a room full of Georgia/Alabama football fans yesterday.
Outnumbered, proudly I wore my Auburn Tiger blue and orange T shirt.
I was feed generously with dip and chips and Sprite cola.
Like ole Wild Bill Hickok I chose a table with my back against the wall close to an exit just in case things got out of control when Auburn did their thang.
They even tried to be convert me to an Alabama football fan giving me an Alabama writing tablet.
A good time was had and in closing I leave you with these words...
Here at the OFH a long hall and locking doors separate the North side and the South side of the building.
Those locking swinging doors are like the Mason/Dixion Line.
The South side where I humbly reside is affectionately called the Po side,the Dirty South or as I call it the Projects.
We Be Po is our motto and it's written with a Sharpie pen on a used piece of cardboard and hangs at the entrance of the south side.
Maybe you could call it a you have been warned enter at own risk sign.
Just because it tends to get a little rowdy over here at times there is no reason to shun us.We be just like the North side folks ...well that's not exactly true.
One day I took a trip over to the rich North side just to see if the things my friend Gary J. had told me were true.He told me over there on the snack cart they got chocolate milk,V8 vegetable juice,yogurt and other things we Po side folks never even thought of.
Oh how quiet it was over there on the North side of the building.Little ole ladies sitting around a table discussing politics or reading poems aloud to each other or something I don't know.Being the friendly talky type I said hello Ladies nice day we're having.
Well I know at times I can look unkempt and maybe a little scary but I always wear my Old Spice high endurance deodorant so I won't offend but those little ole Ladies stared and hissed and whispered to each other saying he one of "THEM".
Even my good friend Gary J.shunned me and quickly ducked into his room pretending I was unknown to him as I frantically raised my good arm waving in a gesture of friendliness calling his name loudly.
Yes Dear ones I JohnLee learned a valuable lesson that day.
Stay with people who understand you and think as you do and never try to hob nob with them rich North side folks again.
Over here in the projects is were I belong,were little ole gray headed Ladies cruise around in their chrome and black chariots looking for another victim to throw ice cold water on,someone to fight and fuss with,were there is a constant roar of rowdiness and it don't even have to be a full moon.
Home is were the heart is I have heard.
For me that is the Po side,the Dirty South,the Projects.
Walker is always perfect.Walker is always right.Walker is an expert of everything from flying jet planes to riding man killer bulls.All the women he meets fall in love with Walker cause well he is Walker.
My roomie loves this TV show.He must believe all the hype that Walker is all that.
Bullets bounce off Walker's Dodge truck.Walker takes one shot for one kill with his big ole pistol while the bad guys using automatic Uzis and such spraying him with bullets always miss.
Walker is half Indian and when the purpose suits him goes back in time to be guided by his long dead ancestors.
Other times he has flash backs/dreams or what ever it depends on what Walker is putting in his pipe smoking that day he becomes his alter ego Hays Cooper Texas Ranger.Old timey way back in the day super hero without a cape.
Walker really doesn't need a gun.He can woop a room full of bad guys with his Kung Fu stuff.Pop Blam Slam just like Batman and his sidekick Boy Wonder Robin.Walker has his own sidekick an ex Dallas Cowboy football player named Trivette and everyone knows how I feel about football.
Many times I scream out loud at the TV when Walker is surrounded by a dozen hooligans with 2x4's and tire irons just shoot'em Walker don't Kung Fu'em to death.Maybe Walker is a closet sadist and just likes breaking arms to hear that crunch.
Yes friends as we where sitting around the TV yesterday Walker Texas Ranger came on.
A mystery has struck the old folks home..everyone woke up to the surprise of Oreo cookies on their table...thank you Oreo cookie fairy... please come back soon!
The OFH was getting that way yesterday.Tempers short.Old gray haired Ladies fussing.
The endless wandering by some residents.Rolling rolling rolling in their black and chrome chariots.I get tired just watching them on the move every waking moment.
A resident told of a dream he had comparing this place to the song by the Eagles, Hotel California.Like the song said you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave.
Don't you just hate it when people start talking or posting how in love they are with their wife,hubby,girlfriend/boyfriend, mistress or sugar daddy?
When ever I see hear this it makes me wonder.
Is it really that good of a relationship they are having or they trying to convince them self it good and ok or is it just a show and they hope everyone believes they have the perfect relationship.
They need to tell their who ever how much they really love them,keep it to them self.
Seems there is a ribbon for every cause imaginable.
White,pink purple ribbons for all things such as cancer,aids,Alzheimer's on and on.
What color would my ribbon be?
I want a camo colored ribbon to symbolized my redneckness.Us rednecks are people also and we do suffer.
We suffer when the old 4 wheel drive Ford pickup gives up the ghost.We rednecks suffer when deer hunting season is over.Old Bubba the hound gets so old he can't hunt no more we suffer and I want a ribbon so the world knows my suffering.Momma stopped baking biscuits I suffer maybe my ribbon in this case would be made from a White Lily flower sack.I need a ribbon of some sort because I have to eat chicken bacon and turkey sausage.By the way will someone tell me how they take a piece of chicken and make it look like bacon.Maybe somethings are better left unknown.
Yes we rednecks do suffer.So the next time you see one of us just walk up to'em give them a big hug and a say a few kind words like I feel your pain here's your ribbon.
Well the fire alarm has just went off here at the OFH.
Nothing is smelled burning maybe another false alarm.Probably some little old gray haired lady who is bored pull the switch just for devilment.
The fire truck from the station up the road just came in non emergency and left just as quick so that is good news.The fire station is maybe a mile away and when someone here at the OFH is in dire straits they are the first to arrive.
We have a new fire alarm system here and a new sprinkler system.The bell rings and a strobe light blinks on off I guess to warn the hearing impaired.
Not being able to walk fire is a fear of mine.Push come to shove I would roll out of bed and crawl if possible in case of fire.
Ok the coast is clear.I will go back to YouTube and listen to a 8 hour loop of a fan while I watch a lighting storm out to the west.
Maybe that combo will result in peaceful deep sleep.
Fried curly fries today with a BBQ sandwich and get this ,squash I think ,casserole.
The BBQ was so stacked with meat I took half the bun off and ate it like an open face sandwich with a fork.
Now those curly fries.
More please I asked and a bowl of hot fries I had.
Really just a big boy plate of fries would have pleased me just fine.
If you have read this blog before you know I'm a tater junkie.My favorite being crinkle cut fries fried crisp and brown doused with salt and ketchup on the side.
But these taters of today held their own with crinkle cuts.
They have been written on the bottom of a Krystal burger box and safely stored in a secure place at TFH.
Please follow these instructions.
When the time comes and I'm sure it will and I lose what sanity that is left please place me in a comfy rocking chair by the door or window.Occasionally stop by and give me a little push so my rocking will keep rocking.Wipe the drool from my mouth when needed.Please make sure I'm fed Krystal burgers and fries at least 3 times a week with a diet Dr Pepper.And most important keep hitting the replay button on my cassette player every 8 minutes so Stranglehold by Ted Nuget plays 24/7.
Some call it the Old Hag syndrome others sleep paralysis.It is a feeling of not being able to move or breathe.Like someone(the old hag)sitting on your chest.Some see visions or feel an intruder is in the room to harm them when going through these attacks for lack of another word.I see nothing myself only blackness.
It happens at the moment you fall asleep or wake up your half way between the two.
If you can just move a finger or wiggle a toe it can be stopped.
When I was a little kid it was almost a nightly thing for me too have these attacks.Also when I was a kid ,OBE's (out of body)where common for me,it's don't laugh,the feeling of leaving your body and floating around the room.
Thank God these attacks are not common for me now.
Unlike my childhood friends wraslin didn't do anything for me.I never watched it,the names of the wrasslers were unknow to me,I didn't walk around putting folks in wraslin holds and all that other stuff that goes on with wraslin.
Think I went to wraslin matches twice in my life at National Guard Armories.Once when somebody named Davy Crockett was at the armory in Roanoke,Alabama. I was three years old so most likely it wasn't my choice of entertainment at the time.Another time I went voluntarily when I was a teen just to get out of the house.
So I'm not a wraslin fan,period.
Racin is a different story.
That is where me and Daddy spent our weekends together at.It started at age thirteen ,me and Daddy traveling the roads of Georgia on Friday,Saturday and Sunday to the dirt tracks.
I have almost lost interest in racin since Daddy died but will watch one on TV.
But shut my mouth I'm going to tell you a secret.
Football,high school,college and pro sucks.It bores me to the point of I rather go outside and just watch grass grow.
Folks down here will hurt you bad if you dis their team.I mean they will use all them wraslin holds they learn as a kid on you.
The OFH put up a new hummingbird feeder outside my window the other day.The old feeder had a leak so it was no good.
A hummingbird found it and has been feeding constantly every hour it seems.
Strange thing happened.
This morn I seen it hovering at my window looking in.I thought well this little creature is curious about me and in it's own way is giving thanks for the new feeder.
Then I figured out what it was doing.
On my window sill there is a orange butterfly solar powered flower that rocks back and forth.Guess the bird thought it was another source of food.
I was talking with another resident yesterday about family.
Or in the case of some of us the lack of.
I have none really,just in name only.
I know people are busy,got their own life to live and really I'm fine with it if they never come around.
Maybe I'm still holding a grudge about the way most of Momma's and Daddy's kin deserted her when she was suffering that dreaded disease of dementia.
Seven years she suffered and I was the only one there for her.You know many nights sleep was only a word.It sure would have been nice for a helping hand at times,maybe just to sit with her so I could catch a few minutes of sleep not worrying she would wonder off.
A few minutes just to relax would have been precious to me.
Don't think I'm mad cause I'm not.
Seen the same thing happen with my Grandma.People desert you when the going gets rough.
Smile it's ok.
Like my Daddy always said(if they can live with it he could live without it).
So stop your kitchen table judging and gossip you know nothing of me.
I had some where my humble abode was.Both sides and front and back.
Those on the sides were cat haters.They stooped so low as to put traps out to catch them.One's little grandson spilled the beans by saying him and granny were catching cats and taking them to the cat jail.
Lovely people cat haters.Like most folks they can't see the error of their ways.Cat hater neighbor number one had her dog chained to a tree right at my bedroom window.Poor thing(the dog not neighbor howled constantly at night) .But cat hating neighbor number one did her own howling when Saturday night rolled around with her outside parties.
That she beast was responsible for the death of kittens by cat snatching their Momma cat and they starved to death.
Cat hating neighbor number two was a work of humanity herself.I will just leave it there.You might get the idea I am still mad at my cat hating neighbor.Every time I would see her from my incognito observation post the Devil would take over my mild mannered disposition and I couldn't fight the urge to meow a few times as she twisted her neck around like that little girl in the movie The Excorist looking for another victim of her cat hating ways.
Yes cat hating neighbors of LaGrange, as my Aunt Pauline would say(I love everyone but some I just don't like).
The road from Alabama to Georgia changes at the state line.
So do a lot of other things.
Been down that road a few times.Some happy some well.
The last time for me was January 8th 2012 from Roanoke back to LaGrange.For the first time on that short 15 mile ride I noticed a lot of things never seen before.The landscape was dreary,light rain falling,drab and uninviting.
My life was changing.
I felt like those old wore out dogs,the ones with mange being took out on one of those deserted dirt roads and let out.Unwanted,feeling alone,deserted is how those old dogs must have felt.
Pink chicken and no cornbread with my canned collards.
I just can't face another day of this God awful food.Lunch is sitting in front of me and I just can't eat it.Beef on noodles with mushrooms and steamed carrots and a wheat roll that would choke a horse.
I just wonder if the "chef "at the hospital eats their creations?
Things around the OFH have been getting squiggly over a week now.
Tempers are running short.
Nurses and CNA's have that look of desperation on their faces.That look of being lost in despair that look of Lord help me Jesus cause it's the dreaded full moon at the old folks home.
Old gray haired wheelchair bound Ladies fussing with each other.One of my roomies repeating over and over his birthday is Tuesday.Snatching of the TV remote without asking please,may I,do you mind instead it's the Hatti with what you were watching I'm going to be greedy and self centered and watch what I want type thing going on.
There will be moaning groaning screaming like what was heard in the dungeons of the castles during the Spanish Inquisition were poor souls were tortured.Cat like meowing and the occasional dog barking sound will be heard.
Zombies walk the halls of the home at night.When I put on my magical sunglasses I see them(just testing if you're still paying attention I don't really have magical sunglasses,really,you do believe me right?)
Get out of the %#@ @!#$ way will be the word heard today from a crusty old timer who thinks every female in the building is his wife Margret.
Not to change the subject but my CRS is about to kick in so farewell,good luck,Sonora,bye.
Baked meat,frozen vegatables,wheat bread,no salt,no seasoning on and on type of food is boring.
Like I have said before this ain't no health farm.People here are sick/dying least give them a little pleasure in life by letting us eat the type of food we want.
Not much going on and I'm not expecting it to get any livelier.Fact be nothing is going on.Just laying here looking out the window watching the world pass by.
I have proof that the food portions here at the OFH are getting smaller.For supper tonight we had hot wings.The menu slip said 5 pieces hot wings but only 3 were on my plate.
I've noticed that lately.Smaller portions and missing items.
Could it be the budget is being cut by minimizing on food?
It just might be me but the food portions at lunch and supper seem to be getting smaller.
Take lunch today one hot dog,bag of those awful baked chips and what was called cheese cake pudding.
Where is the tater tots and baked beans?
That would be a filling meal for fat boys like me.
Sure I could have asked for another dog but that's not the point.The point being is food is about all we got going for us at the old folks home least for me.Give me what I want and enough to fill me up and not still be hungry after just eating.
I don't think that is being unreasonable.
Supper was a small slice of roast beef with gravy(good by the way)wheat roll sliced red potatoes(6)that was not done enough or seasoned with anything and the every present steamed carrots and chocolate sugar free pudding.
I ate just the beef,roll and pudding and was still hungry.
And when did onions become extinct?I for one want them on my burger and hot dog call me strange and outrageous if you want.And what's the deal with this what is called baby bakers(little bitty baked potatoes) with our burgers?What happened to that All American side dish of french fries and onion rings I wonder.
Hey I'm 62 years old,semi intelligent,fully grown and know what I like to eat and how much.
Treat me as an adult and give me a say in what I eat.
A dedicated yellow chopper motorcycle rider passes by my window every morning at about the same time.This guy rides hot,cold,rainy weather.A leather jacket he wears year round.
He must be the real thing.Not just a sunny day rider.I'm impressed.
Like some people who are just sunny day family/friends.Let the rain or cold come and vamoose they are gone from your life.
Watching baseball on the Tele and when the camera focuses on the crowd at the ball park seems like everyone has their Star Trek pocket communicator out doing the texting thang.
I see people walking around textter in hand head down unfamiliar with whats going on around them just a texting away.
I'm a eating sushi at so and so place they update FaceBook friends like yeah so what.
Just seen a texter text they where at church.
Hmm hope they are not texting but letting the preacher's message soak in.
Sorry for stepping on your toes about this texting thang but I needed something to write about.
Next time you lose a $20 just text the location you last saw it.
My eyes still fuzzy from deep slumber there he stood outside my bedroom window smiling,staring,looking in.
In his hand a white paper sack and a extra large coffee.Waving that sack I figured out he wanted to come in.
Heck I live at the old folks home where little ole gray headed ladies cruise the halls and by ways in their wheelchairs just looking for someone to harass so this guy didn't scare me at all.
In my best Mexican sign language I motion for him to come on in.
It's not every day you see a big white guy with a big red afro wearing a yellow jumpsuit with # 18 size red shoes.Least not while awake but that is a story for another time.
Slowly,quietly trying not to wake my roomies up he crawled through the window.
At the side of my bed he raised a finger to his ruby red lips making that international understood sign of shhh be quiet.
Low and behold!
And that delicious coffee was for me!
Pointing to the white sack he gave it a couple of shakes while smiling with those big ruby red lips.
Guess what was inside?
Bacon,real bacon,thick crispy heart attack bacon not that chickentarian bacon we get at the old folks home biscuits.Those buttermilk biscuits just melt in ones mouth and he had brought some real deep fried hash browns also.
Like Santa on Christmas eve off in a flash he went I think delivering other sleepy eyed old folks their morning constitutional of cholesterol sodium packed items of delight.
I have no pain.It's been a long time since I have.In my younger years cramps in my calfs of my legs at night were common.That by the way is the biggest muscle on me,they were over worked when I was walking.Weight lifters or body builder's legs from knee down could not compare with the calfs of my legs.
It's rare for me to feel sick at all.
I'm just tired all the time ,have been since I was a kid.
In all fairness this Kugleberg Welander Syndrome or the other name it's known by SMA3,has been kind to me.It's been very slow in progression.
Not like that terrible disease of ALS.
Sometimes you have to accept things the way they are.Pitching a hissy fit or feeling why me sorry for yourself serves no purpose.
Okay.
That's my pep talk for today now get outta here and do something.
Had a little one yesterday,no biggee but still for awhile I had my hopes up.
Like the man said "don't feel like the lone ranger " whatever that means.Guess it means you are not alone.
We all have had disappointments in this life.I have had my fair share it seems.Wish a lot of things had turned out different.
Like that time a local store had a drawing for a new bicycle.I got a letter in the mail and had my hopes up I was a winner.Nope ain't going to happen.You almost won the letter said.A disappointment.Often in my old age I have wondered why that letter was even sent.
I have had a lot of almosts in life,but why worry about it,like the man said " it's water under the bridge " or better yet like the man said "don't cry over split milk ".
Dreamed of a hole in the ground and in that hole there were two things.A rattlesnake and a mountain lion.Instead of just walking away I had to get the mountain lion out.Why I don't know.
Ended up getting both out of that pit or hole in the ground.I had the snake by the head holding it so it couldn't bite and feeling sorry for it I just gave it a fling not wanting to hurt it.
What happened too the lion I don't remember.
There was also a woman I know that kept popping in and out of this dream.She kept asking me questions and it was starting to irritate me.
Dreams about snakes I have always heard mean you have an enemy.If that's the case wish they would leave me alone and let me sleep.
I had my heart set on it.My mouth was watering thinking about what was to come.My taste buds were at full attention.In short I could hardly wait for supper.
Chili.
Yes chili and a toasted/grilled cheese sandwich was the alternative for supper tonight.I noticed this as soon as my fuzzy eyes could focus on the expanded menu this morning.
Chili or baked fish let me think this over hmmm chili of course was my choice.Didn't even have to think that one over.
More I thought about that delicious homemade chili the hunger set in deep.Two bowls was my idea of a filling supper.
Told my CNA to please put in my order.In fact I told another CNA to check on my request just to make sure.
I was chili hungry and didn't want to leave anything to chance.
Watching the clock as it moved ever so slowly making it's way to 5 pm supper time.
It's finally time.The supper cart has arrived.Soon I would be devouring those bowls of chili.
You must not like fish the CNA who delivered my tray said you have a hot dog.
Wait.A hot dog?A hot dog with my chili right?That's what you mean yes?
No.
As that farmer McDonald in the Geico commercial who is in the spelling contest and his word is cow spell cow...cow...spells cow right but add a eieio at the end like in the song who realizes his mistake says dagnabbit I just realized no chili no two bowls of chili no two bowls of chili with a toasted/grilled cheese sandwich for me cause the Hospital didn't send any.
Any way today is National Hot Dog Day and I got two with classic Lays chips.All is not lost.
Summertime sitting on the porch just a swinging in the swing that is what I'm thinking about this morning.
How high can you make it go.That dreaded fear in back of your mind that the chains on the swing might break and that thought brings you down to a more safer swinging speed.
Just sitting on a summer afternoon watching the sun set talking with someone who you enjoy the conversation with.
That was Daddy's and mine time.After supper let's go to the porch he would say and off with my cup of fresh brewed Folgers coffee and little Hav-A-Tampa cigar we went Daddy with his snuff or chewing tobacco.No serious talk just enjoying the company.
A time when neighbors stopped by for chats and people driving by that you waved at.
Night time summer porch swinging memories made of this.Fireflies and the sound of crickets and cicadas mixed with the smell of honeysuckle and formosa.
When I get to Heaven I hope there is a big porch with a swing waiting on me.
Focusing my fuzzy vision on the outside I see it's raining.
Good.Gardens need it and I need their acidy red ripe tomatoes.
I really enjoy red ripe home grown tomatoes but there is a problem.
Maybe I'm allergic to them.Soon as one is eaten my face starts tingling,then itching then I break out in this red rash that slowly covers my face.Just my face no were else.
This last for a few days then it looks like I've been in the sun and my skin peels.
I have been warned that my throat could close up,tongue swell and eyes close shut.Benadryl helps but that makes me sleep for a couple of days.
Maybe Momma was right I am hard headed and stubborn but I really like tomatoes.
It does get embarrassing when people stare at you and ask what's wrong with your face.
I have just one question.
Why can't it be broccoli or cauliflower or baked fish and chicken that I'm allergic to.
He was a first class do gooder goody two shoes type always telling the other kids what and not to do.You can't do that I remember little Timmy tell another follow me awe struck zombie once.
Often I wished that when Little Timmy got his self in a jam Lassie wouldn't be so quick to the rescue.
Lassie would get a cup of that excellent coffee from McDonalds and one of those little Hav-A-Tampa cigars and sit back in HIS(yes all the Lassies were boy dogs playing female parts)Lazy Boy recliner and just let Little Timmy sweat it out for awhile.
I seen a Lady who works here at the OFH who almost daily walks past my window to the kitchen were she works pass by in my dream.
This time it was different.She was toting a food tray like our meals are served on.On this food tray I seen little boxes of Krystal hamburgers neatly lined up and I think boxes of fries.
Maybe yours truly has fell off that cliff of sanity and is spiraling out of control into that deep canyon of craziness.
Or maybe I was just hungry and wanted some Krystal's.
Things that go on at the OFH(old folks home) one needs some type of protection.
That little ole gray haired lady in the wheelchair who tried assassinating me with a cup full of ice water is back from being evaluated but I haven't seen her cruising the halls and by ways of the OFH yet.
Then we have the groaners,moaners,complainers,rude ones,inconsiderate ones who(I know you are getting tired of hearing this one)grab the TV remote and changes the channel from what other people are interested in and watching.
Then we have some who suffer from that awful ailment of grand disillusion about their self worth.No you ain't that great or yes really I'm not impressed.
So the tin foil hat really comes in handy.Mine is always close by.Like in that movie Signs were the two little kids make and wear hats of tin foil so those monster aliens can't read their minds.
If it worked for them maybe it will for me.
Not worried about monster aliens but little ole gray haired ladies in wheelchairs.
Back in the old days when America was freer and had less laws things were different.
Everyone it seems is going to Florida or has been lately.I miss the smell of sea water and Coppertone sun tan lotion,the crashing of Atlantic ocean waves on the shore.I have all the qualities to be a first class beach bum.
All that go south to the Sunshine/Bikini state I ask for just one small favor.
Please bring me back a baby alligator so I can put it in one of Twin Fountains water fountains out front at the gazebo.
Seems that custom of stopping on a Florida road and buying a sack full of oranges or a coconut and baby alligators to take home is a thing of the past.
It's now as they say "ginst the law".
Not the oranges or coconuts or those high priced T shirts with the funny sayings but the baby gators.
Daddy would go deep sea fishing a few times each year and my request was always the same "bring me a baby gator Daddy",nope never happened just a bag of oranges or that coconut that kept me busy all day trying to crack'em.
Now that I'm older I think what would I have done with a baby gator anyway.
Maybe that's where that 10 foot gator that was killed up the road in the river came from.
Some pesky kid like me asking his Daddy"bring me a baby gator home".
Yesterday, Wednesday for supper I had baked chicken wings,today,Thursday at lunch I had fried chicken wings,both were enjoyed,supper rolls around and guess what was on my plate,not chicken wings but chicken tenders.
Now chicken three meals in a row is a bit much.I would even get tired eating a thin well done T bone from Piggly Wiggly three times in a row.
I switched my chicken delight for beefy cheesy mac and it was thoroughly enjoyed.
Chicken I know is cheap as far as meat goes but enough already besides what I read in my defense of not being a chickentarian is that chicks today are pumped with steroids and other nasty things so they grow bigger faster.
Took a peek at the menu for Friday's lunch,yep you're ahead of me,chicken tenders.
I just woke up and it’s after midnight.I hope it was just a dream.
Around 10ish pm I fell asleep listening to a 10 hour loop of rain and thunder on YouTube.This is my nightly routine,ear buds in,an all night loop of something is chosen to mask the noises here at the old folks home.I usually just peacefully drift off into deep slumber.
Maybe it was just that snack I had of a tomato and banana pepper or the 3 peanut butter crackers just before sleep that caused this little "dream"?
Or did something,someone really grab my wrist as it hung over the side of the bed?
Many times before falling asleep my hand hanging over the side I’ve thought what if there is something under…
Things I learned the hard way:
1.Women are always right,never argue,you can't win.
2.If a muffler falls off a lawn mower leave it be,it is hot.
3.A dog wagging it's tail will bite.
4.There is a thing called to much of a good thing.
5.Have I mentioned women are always right?
6.Smiling faces don't always mean someone can be trusted.
7.If it looks like a duck,walks like a duck,quacks like a duck it ain't no chicken.
8.Health nuts no matter what will also die someday.
9.Here is where you can post what you learned the hard way.
10.Women are always right.
True story...astronauts had a problem writing in space...NASA spent a million dollars to fix the problem...cosmonauts had the same problem...they fixed it for one dollar...they used a pencil.
Riding a horse,six shooter on my hip, eating beans around the camp fire,sleeping under the stars.
Freedom to go where ever my horse leads no schedule to keep.
Cowboys were wise and smart.Someone asked an old cowboy once what was his horse's name.The cowboy answered you never give something a name that you might have to eat someday.Wise.Cowboys carried a bottle of whiskey in their saddlebags in case of snake bite.They also carried a snake with them.Smart.
Then I think this would get old after a few days.
No AC on hot days.Sleeping in the cold rain.Beans,beans and more beans all the time.
Rethinking my situation I'm better off right where I am.
Lord help us that's just what we need around the OFH(old folks home).
Reading about this super moon it is said to increase chances of natural disasters like hurricanes,tornadoes,floods,earthquakes on and on.
Three in a row they will be.30% larger in size than normal.
Just to be on the safe side I'm preparing for it now.Yours truly is stocking up on tin foil,duct tape and those old fashioned Bobbie pins like Momma always used.Why I''m doing this I have no idea but I am just compelled to do something instead of sitting,waiting on all the heck that will bust out here at the OFH.
Like that guy in Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind who was building a mountain with his mashed potatoes said"this means something"same thing for me with the tin foil,duct tape and the old fashioned Bobbie pins.
Could the world exist without these two modern creations?
Right up there with the wheel and fire they rank in my humble opinion.
Invented in 1953, Water Displacement, 40th formula yes that's what WD-40 stands for,will do everything from cranking your lawn mower to removing bubble gum from a kid's hair. Duct tape was invented in 1942 for military use.Because it waterproofed items it is also called duck tape. Often I see people around the old folks home their heads wrapped tightly with duct tape cause you just know at any time now their head will explode. The tape keeps down the mess.
Breakfast is over and what to do now is the pending question for me.I just ate my grits and fried egg saving my biscuit and sausage and OJ for later.
Sleep,watch TV on my computer,write or stare out the big window.
Ambulance has just left with a resident across the hall from room 31.
Meal times around the old folks home is a popular time for the ambulance to show up.That seems to be the time people get sick.Before meals I must add,it's not the food making them sick.
Just had a drive by,Gary cruising the halls without speaking.
BBQ chicken legs for lunch uggh but homemade veggie soup and a grilled cheese for supper the menu says so not all is lost.
For some reason that song from the kids TV show New Zoo Review is stuck in my head.
It was an amusement park located on Stewart Avenue(now called Metropolitan Avenue)downtown Atlanta when I was a kid.
Maybe from the late 50's till the mid 60's it was open.
Rides like Crazy Rat,games and that great amusement park food.
I always spent my time playing skeet ball trying to win a prize.It was said by some I was gambling,playing a game of chance because most of my trips there were on Church outings.
Baptist can be strict.
But some like to nit pick the little things like that but over look the big stuff like loving and caring.
I didn't know at the time,never did I pay attention but Fun Town was segregated.I was just there for fun.
Martin Luther King I read while searching for information on Fun Town mentioned it in a speech.He said his daughter had wanted to go to Fun Town but she could not because it was white only.
I remember playing the horse racing game(maybe I was a little gambler)there was a bowling alley and seems like maybe a pool.
1966 Fun Town closed it's doors.Way before Six Flags came to Georgia.
Stewart Avenue became famous for car lots,later on a place for criminal behavior,if you were looking for something it could be found there.
What would I do without this big window next to my bed.My window on the world.A small part of it anyway.
Highway US 29 runs from Pensacola,Florida all the way to Maine.
Seems I've always been close by no matter where I lived to lay in bed on those muggy summer nights and hear the whine of the big 18 wheelers going north or south on 29.
In my room.A place of quiet peacefulness.With the blinds closed ear buds on I'm in my own little personal place of sanctuary.
Sometimes that's were I want to be at the old folks home.
Were I don't have to deal with the OT'S (old timers) when they get started up.
It can be very difficult living with people who have short term memory loss.
Maybe well I know that's what wrong with my roomie who constantly changes the TV channel.He just doesn't remember or when he says the same thing over and over.
Scary I'm older than him.
Maybe I repeat myself over and over maybe I repeat myself over...
Things that don't make sense:
1.Wearing a belt with suspenders.
2.Iced coffee.
3.Wearing short pants with snow on the ground(postal workers) white men at any time.
4.Turkeytarians.
5 Health nuts(you're going to die anyway).
6.Painted bricks.
7.Jogging.
8.Why no indisputable photo/video of UFO's with all the phones with cameras.
9.Have I mentioned turkeytarians yet?
10.Shaving cause it just grows back.
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