Funky Town

LA may be shaky town.

Chicago they call the windy city.

New York New York a town so nice they named it twice.

Randy Newman may love LA.

Tony Bennett left his heart in San Francisco.

But I have them all beat.

I live in Funky Town!

Just say no

Cable TV.

It sucks.

No TV all week because of no cable here at the old folks home.Seems you have to have a cable box now.

Box we have plus new remote but no TV.

Does anybody really like cable?

I've had my share of dealing with them.Once I had to argue with a cable guy about my home address.He said it was so and so but he was wrong,the address he needed was across the street.Talk of customer service it's non existent right up there with UFO'S and Bigfoot.Cable phone ops have hung up with me.Once they wanted to double charged for a months service,I refused,they turned it into a collection agency.Again they can't read house numbers,a weekend,cable was disconnected,wrong house,mine.

With satellite and internet TV now who needs them.

Cable TV just say no.

Manners

Manners.

You got them or you don't.

Just seen a young man walking down the street and his pants where almost at his knees.I do hope his undies are clean.

Bet he is making his Momma real proud today.

Granny got a gun

Interesting.

Now in Georgia any law abiding citizen can carry a gun into schools,churches,bars,airports etc.

Maybe this is a good idea.

In these days of random shootings in schools,shopping  centers,hospitals,everywhere people go having a pistola in your jean's back pocket could come in handy.

Big Bubba would be less likely to harass Granny Sally if she is packing big iron on her hip,a big ole Colt,not the iron in her hip replacement.

We interrupt your program...

Do you remember back in the old days before CNN,Fox and all those other 24 hour news stations?

You would be watching TV and your screen would go blank with no sound.

Those terrifying words would flash across your TV and a few seconds later the announcer would say we interrupt your program for this special bulletin.

Your mind would start racing.What has happened.Who died.Are we being attacked by some unknown country,is this the end of us all my friend?

Those special bulletins never brought good news.

They just scared the heebie jeebies out of me.

Get it fixed

They better get it fixed quick.

The natives will get restless and unruly.I for one am not ready for all the fighting,screaming and just plain out being bad by some of the residents here.

Don't let these little ole gray hair Ladies here at the OFH(old folks home) fool you they can be mean.They cruise the halls like sharks in the deep blue ocean looking for prey.I'm sure some of them were members of an outlaw motorcycle club like Hell's Angels or the Granny Renegades.They just have that look.

We will be in a situation worse than any full moon if nothing is done.

They better get that cable back on real quick like!

Is there any terror worse than when Grandma can't watch her shows ?

TFNH attention

Attention staff and residents of TFNH.

It's that time of the year again.

We are having the annual send room 31 SW to Daytona Beach for Bike Week fund raiser marathon.

For your convenience a donation box has been placed outside our door.

Direct all inquires to Paul.

Thank you.

Ride away

This sunny day
I want to
Find a Harley
And ride away

Places not known
Where never been
See different people
Make new friends

Wind in face
Sun on back
I’m just looking
For new place

Just close eyes
I am there
Even when sitting
In this chair

His love for us

Happy Easter!

He has risen.

He is alive.

I'm awake early this morning.

Just got back from the shower.Boy I was asleep when Ms B came and got me.The Hoyer lift batteries where dead last night and I missed my regular shower night.Those hot showers are one of life's little pleasures.

Awake and waiting on breakfast which should be around soon.

On this Holiest of Holy days just remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us,his love for us.

His name was Jim

Me and my little monkey.

I did have a monkey or better yet it had me.

A guy I knew got the little bugger for his wife as a pet but she was terrified of it.

Now I had a set of 110 pound weights that after falling across my neck and breaking down a bed I no longer wanted.It was safer being a 96 pound weakling for me.

So a trade was made.

110 pound weights for 3 pounds of pure unadulterated energy and fun.

His name was Jim.Jungle Jim.

Quickly we became buddies.When we where alone Jim was free of his cage and roamed freely.

Like all little kids when they get quiet they are up to something and Jim was no different.

We had this connection.My folks said that Jim would pace his cage and start whistling everyday at the time I would be coming home.Was it coincidence or did he know?

Jim would chase dogs.

Jim was scared of cats.

Jim would sit on my shoulder or lay on my chest whistling me a song while patting my face with those baby sized hands of his.

Jim got sick.

He died in my arms at the vets.I was 18 in a crowd of people I cried.Not ashamed because I had lost a dear friend.

On quiet lonely nights I think his whistling can still be heard.

Jim calling me to play.

Thanks to my evil twin

Seen something today that immediately took me back in time.Talk about a flashback this was.

If by any chance friends from East Newnan,Georgia more specific East Newnan Elementary happen to run up on this story you will most likely remember this.

Mr Camp's 7th grade 1964-1965.

Today I seen black marks on the floor.

Yes friends it took me back in time when no one wore sneakers or as we called them tennis shoes.Like Mr Ford and his model T you could get your Keds in any color you wanted long as it was black.Low tops or basketball high tops your choice.

We where deprived compared to kids of today.No fancy smancy colors of the rainbow sneakers like now.

Back in the old days sneakers where rarely worn to school.Then shoes where dress type with leather or rubber soles.Penny loafers in brown was my favorite for years.

Leather or rubber heels on a hard floor tend to leave marks.Black marks.

Add that with 13 year old juvenile delinquents and it's a recipe for mischief and disaster.That includes some of the girls also.

Maybe some of those black marks on that shiny buffed floor got there on purpose.Even though the stature of limitations has long passed I'm not admitting anything.

Old Man H the principal at the time saw, seen and hit the roof.I swear at times we aggravated him so much that really I think smoke boiled out his ears.

Once Old Man H accused me of standing on the side of the road and giving him the one finger sign of international peace and goodwill.I do have an evil twin out there somewhere so I'm sure it was him.My evil twin has been seen many times doing things I only wish I had nerve to do.

Tooth brushes can be used for many things it seems.Cleaning black marks off shiny buffed floors is one of them.

On our knees ,guilty and the innocent, a whole day was spent scrubbing floors.

One day I will meet my evil twin and I swear his hand will be shook and he will be thanked for all of the interesting situations he has got me in.

Lessons learned

Easter egg hunts of past.

One I do remember.Back in the 1960's maybe when I was 12 or so.

The little church we attended had their egg hunt on a Saturday afternoon before Easter.

I learned a few life lessons at that church.

The preacher standing in the pulpit made a remark that even as a youngster I knew just didn't sound right.

He said if a so and so walked through his yard he was use extreme prejudice against them.I thought a Christian was being loving,forgiving,caring not preaching hate and violence against someone who is different from yourself.

Lesson learned just because you are standing in the pulpit what you say ain't exactly Christian.

Back to that egg hunt.That same preacher pointed out the prize egg to his nephew.Lesson learned,all in life is not fair.

Those lessons and a few more turned me against church and church people when I was younger.All the hypocrisies and jealousy the bickering between church members really affected me.

But never did I doubt Jesus and God.

I just had to learn that people are not perfect even in the church.

Follow Jesus not man.

A life lesson learned.

Krystal

Krystal
Can't be beat
Burgers and fries
Ready to eat

Chil pups
Corn dogs to
You can even get
Breakfast in a cup

Open 24 hours
For your delight
You can get'em
Day and night

Mustard onions pickles
Little steamed bun
I can eat five
Then I'm done

Stop,look and listen

Stop,look and listen.

You sure can learn a lot about people by doing that.

A first class education in human behavior.

Free for the taking,no charge.

I think the best place for getting this education is the parking lot of any grocery store.A cross section of life will pass by your eyes.The sad,funny,pitiful,shocking personalities you will observe.All in one handy location.

Try it sometime.

Deleted

Oh woes me
It do seem
Someone on Facebook
Has deleted thee

What did I do
Was it something said
Or what I done
Me and my bighead

Was it a close friend
If it was not
Who was it then
Maybe it was long lost kin

Sorry you feel this way
And it came to this
Not getting sappy
But have a happy day

In my humble opinion

Open the windows on a balmy southern summer night and let the sounds and sights of nature lullaby you to sleep.

Crickets,cicadas,fireflies in June mixed with the aroma of honeysuckle.

But in my humble opinion there is nothing sweeter to my ears than the singing of a mockingbird on those quiet nights.

Corn dogs

A weird dream this morning.

First off the old house where 33 years where spent was burning.No one was hurt thank goodness but the house was gone.

Maybe it was something subconscious accepting that the house was gone.

Now for the other part of my dream.

Chili corn dogs.

Is there such a thing?

It was 7:30 am in my dream,I know cause I took a look at the clock thinking to myself these chili corn dogs are going to spoil my breakfast.

Hey I think something has been figured out!

Lately by blood sugar readings have been very high.

It's because of me eating all this good food like chili corn dogs  in my dreams.

SHUT INS

This morning one of my roomies asked if I was awake.The privacy curtain was pulled and he could not see me.

Yes I'm awake Paul.Then he asked if I was out of the bed.No Paul still in bed.

There are 4 of us here in room 31 and for one reason or another 3 of us are what you call confined to bed till someone helps us out of it.

This got me thinking.

The old timey radio preachers call us "SHUT INS".

Heard that term all my life now that fits me.Never before had I thought that.

SHUT INS yeah that's me.

Don't pity me cause at times it ain't so bad.I told a Lady yesterday if only getting in/out of bed and taking care of a few other basic human needs,if I could do those, care for myself,ole JohnLee would be back on his own living the independent life style.

But as life has it that's not in the plans.

At times we all need a little help from our friends.

If possible

What to do with all this free time.

If I was smart which I ain't maybe curing the common cold or curing cancer and all those other awful things I could do.

How bout finding a way for world peace and ending poverty,no more hungry kids.

I could write a book that would make people laugh and forget all their problems for maybe a hour or so.

Snap my fingers and everyone would feel loved and at peace.

None of this I can do.

But if possible I would.

It's coming

Easter is coming.

That was always time for new shoes and a suit for Easter Sunday.

Time for coloring eggs for that big hunt.

Easter baskets.

Two times a year you went to church.

Christmas and Easter.

Shame that the real reason of those two days are lost in all of the commercializing of the most Holy of celebrations.

It's not about the Easter bunny or Santa.

Just here to help ya...an emergency reprint for a new friend

Being a born and bred Southern Gentleman I find it my civic duty to help others,those from north of Hogansville,Georgia,Yankee territory,to learn to speak proper English.

At times they can't understand what I'm talking about and vicer versa.Today we shall start with the basics.

Let's get this eating thing down pat first ok.There are 3 meals in a 24 hour period.Breakfast,dinner and supper.Dinner equals lunch to those of you north of Hogansville and supper is the night time meal not dinner.Next let's just go ahead and get this outta way quick.That 4 legged,fuzzy thing with a wagging tail and goes bow wow ain't no dog.Repeat after me it's a DAWG and the longer you can draw it out the better.

Next we move along to the most common things you should learn to be understood and to understand.That thing you sit in is not a chair it's a cheer.Example,ain't cha tared sit in the cheer for a bit.Then theres winder you know that thing made of glass that most houses have you look out at.Now we get fancy with details.That thing you lay your head on at night down here in Georgia is called a piller not pillow.Simple huh,your'e doing great so far.Ok to keep things short so you don't lose concentration our last word of the day is fanger.Northerners called or mispronounce it as finger.

Ok that should do it for today.See it ain't hard to properly speak English all you have to do is just try hard and study and in no time you will be speaking Georgian like ya was born here.

Sharper than a sword

Shoot it,stab it,stomp it but it can't be stopped.

This old monster has been around since the beginning of time.

It can be innocent at first but ending in disaster.

Lives can be ruined.

Gossip.

The tongue can be sharper than the sword.

Going to kill me

Sorry but the food here at the old folks home is not to my liking.

It don't look good or taste good to me.

You may say but it's healthy for you.

If that's the case why was my blood sugar at 571 Friday night and is still high.

I'm ready for cooking like I grew up on.Butter beans,fried diced up potatoes and cornbread.

Heck if food is going to kill me lest let it be food I like.

Google this

A rainy,dark,blustery Monday morning here.

Thunder and lighting.

I like it.

Unlike that old Carpenters song rainy days and Mondays don't get me down.

Like Daddy would tell me even after getting grown,get away from that screen window and put that dog down they draw lighting.

Do dogs draw lighting?

Something to google on this rainy Monday morn.

Sounds of angished souls

They walk the halls at night.

Some of the most mournful sounds they make.Sounds that frighten me.Sounds of anguished souls walking these floors of the old folks home.

Fleeting shadows I see out of the corner of my eye.

I know when they are on the move.At times they come in pairs.

That sound.

That sound of squeaky shoes that the Nurses and CNA's  wear.

Oh the humanity of it all.

Should have know

Well now.

I spent 3 or more hours outside under the veranda by the cement pond.

Had my supper of cheesy beef mac and a roll with raspberry sherbet out there.

My water jug with me,it came in handy.Plus coffee and iced tea with my supper so was glad when I got back inside our humble abode if you get my drift.

Temperature was about 82 today.

My face is cherry red and people ask the same question... to much sun?

I have to go through the drill telling them no it wasn't the sun but those chopped up tomatoes I had with my salad Sunday night.It was a mistake eating those tomatoes because my forehead started stinging as they where ate.

But I do feel sunburned so maybe...

Peaceful

Just a dream
That I know
Peaceful it was
Back I go

Applesauce

I knew it was wrong from the beginning but that didn't stop me.

Greed and self centered behavior had taken over.The only one I was thinking about was me and my wants my desires.

Nothing can be hidden.Everything is revealed in the end.This will be no different.

So the story begins.

7 years old,Big Springs Road,at that time it was called the country then,LaGrange,Georgia.

For some reason my folks had been chosen by the little church we attended to be the ones to keep can goods for people who where in need.

The cans where stored under the kitchen cabinets.

This a good place to stop and express my opinion about something.Those cans where rusty and most where missing labels.The Bible said give with a cheerful heart and give to God your best first fruits.Story was a husband and wife gave but not their best and God struck them down.I think those rusty no labeled cans might fit in that category.Was it their best or what they wanted no more?

Ok off my high horse.

My sin is just as bad,no better or worse they are all equal.

Did I mention applesauce?

Loved that stuff when I was a kid.This is where the two stories meet.

Those rusty no label cans got the best of me and when a treat was wanted you guessed it applesauce hunting I would go.Yes looking in the cans designated for the needed.

Shame on me taking food out of the hungry's mouth.

You know what till this very day every time I see applesauce that is what is thought of.

A confession

When it happened I can't say.

A new low in my life has been reached.

Grandma Haynes forgive me.

I was raised better.

You started me down this road at the age of 4.

Sure after 57 years I have strayed but always came back to my roots,the way you taught me.

Grandma maybe it's best you are asleep,resting in your grave.

You will be spared of my dark secret and confession I must make to all mankind.

Grandma.

I now drink...

I now drink my coffee with a creamer but wait it gets worse at times I add a sweetener.

Grandma your blue eyed rusty footed baby boy has shunned the old ways.

No longer do I drink my coffee black and straight as you raised me.

Forgive me Grandma.

And please stop spinning in your grave.

You're making me dizzy.

All is ...

That smell.

Like a magnet I was drawn to it.

I followed it.

Popcorn.

Not only just popcorn but Cracker Jack and fruit punch and diet Coke.

I had a vision.

On the wall it was.

The big screen TV.

Atlanta Braves opening day for baseball.

All is good in Muddvile.

Spring and baseball have arrived.

Quick

No more fried foods for me.

Changing my ways.

Bring on the baked chicken and fish.

Load my plate with cauliflower broccoli and squash casserole.

Pass the turkey bacon,sausage and those mouth watering turkey burgers.

How about some celery who needs crinkle cut fries?

Wake me quick, call 911,I'm delirious...naw it's ok.
                                       



April Fool's!!! 

Something better

Am I going to end up like everyone else here?

We are a product of our environment people say.

A nurse said the other night that Alzheimer's is not inherited it is airborne.She might be right.

Not looking forward to that day at all.

I don't mourn very much these days when someone passes away.It's not that I'm cold hearted I just see it as being set free of all this earthly commotion we have to put up with.

Those that are so sick and in pain,so lonely,so confused,so brokenhearted,so scared...you get the picture.

God in Heaven there has to something better for them.

Quiet

Sky is blue,no wind,temp rising.

Woke to the sound of crows this morning much more pleasant than a rooster.

March is going out like a lamb.Same way it came in.

Things quiet round the old folks home.

For now.

Warning

An  unholy terror has been unleashed upon us.

You think something is heard.Something is seen out of the corner of your eyes,a dark fleeting shadow.

It is real,not your imagination.

You did hear something.You did see it.

That feeling of being watched.

Hair on the back of your neck rising.

A cold chill down the spine.

Be very afraid.

We have been warned of this.Consider our self lucky as things that will come will happen have already been presented to us for all who will read, prepare, believe.

Evil walks this earth.All of the vile demonic acts that the mind can imagine are happening right this moment.

Good news we have hope.

Howling

I love it !

The howling of the wind.

March is trying to go out like a lion.

The cold icy wind from my open window feels good to my bare arms.

Amen

Those self righteous types,politicians and people who oppose medical marijuana that would help kids who have seizures shame on you.

Shame on state attorney generals who don't want that new pill that is 5 times stronger than Vicodin .

You are playing with people's lives.

Blessed are those who are pain free and have healthy children.

As Lewis Grizzard,Great American said "PAIN CHANGES YOUR ATTITUDE ON DRUGS".

Amen.

Nursing home resident

Nursing home resident 31 B south wing.

That is me.

To tired to write,to tired to think.

Later amigos.

My new home

A place beyond
Way way gone
Beyond milky way
My new home

Riding comets tail
Through end times
This where belong
My new home

Faster than light
I travel alone
Sight of sights
My new home

Deafness of space
Life no trace
Where I belong
My new home

Burgers of past

Wish I had a good hamburger and fries right now.

Like those of my youth that seem so much better than those of today.

Go into a cafe ask for a burger and it was fried up as you wait.None of this cooked hours ago and warmed up stuff.

Fries,sliced and fried in real oil and with salt.

Better yet a hamburger by Daddy.Buns dipped in the grease with a bag of potato chips on the side.

Nothing fancy just good simple food.

Top it off with an icy cold bottle of real Coke.

Could have should have

In a moment of crystal clear clarity I seen my life as it really is.

I'm not pleased.

I have failed myself.

I lost.

I could have should have done better.

Memories get the best of me

Low blood pressure is normal for me.

100/60 or there bouts is where it normally runs.

Here at the OFH(old folks home)they check our vitals quite often,bp,temp,pulse.

Seems night time is the most regular time for checking room 31 usually just after dozing.

Maybe the reason for that is we are most relaxed.

Well sometime last night I was awaken,time for vital checks making sure we are amongst the living and not one of those walking dead zombie folks,we have'm here and maybe one day soon will write about them.

60/40 was my bp,second check was even lower 53/over something.

Feeling okay ?Yes I answered.

Since I was talking and coherent no need for a trip to the ER or as the nurse said morgue.

Going to check it again around 7 am she said.

She did and guess what?

This time bp was 163/70.Way to high for me.

Since it was about time for morning meds no action was taken.

I was alive,talking,joking around and most of all hungry for breakfast.

Later on in the day I had the pleasure off seeing the eye doctor.

When did doctors get so young,she looked every bit of 18.

My visit lasted only a few minutes.

Now get this she took a pair of tweezers and took something called plugs and put them in the inside corner of each eye.

I have heard of tire plugs,chewed a few plugs of Bull of the Woods tobacco but never of these eye plugs.

After thinking about this curious I was.

Seems they prevent watery eyes.

Maybe this will be good.

I tend to be sentimental about some things and when alone the tears can flow easy.

That is why I avoid any singing of Gospel songs when people come here and sing.

Memories get the best of me.

They can bring on the tears.

Flight 370

Flight 370
Where could it be
Did it make it to land
Or fall into the sea

Was it abducted
By UFO'S
That is something
We don't know

Was it high jacked
That could be
Is it on some island
Hid by trees

Flight 370
A mystery indeed
If you have any ideas
Tell us please

About you

Don't think me mean
If I say what's on my mind
Maybe it's come to this
Now is the time

Down off your high horse
That nose stuck in the air
Don't think yourself better than anyone
Some times you're more than I can bare

See yourself as others do
Not as you think yourself
Maybe your not that great
Sorry just being true

When you're gone
The world turning won't stop
Lucky you will be
If you're not forgot

We are all just one
No body better or worse
Judged not by what we have or want
Only by what we have done

There I said it
Maybe to much
At times I tend this to do
Guess it's time I stop talking and such

New life

Rainy day
Searching soul
Still doing
Things old

Want change
New life
Staring over
Tired strife

Peace needed
Satisfied mind
This wanted
All time

I'm trying

One step forward two steps backwards...I disappoint myself.

Did it...

I did it!

Survived the full  moon,Walking Dead night,Saint Patricks day trio.

The stars and planets where line up just right for this once in a life time
event.

Blame it on...

If you wonder what living at the old folks home is all about compare it to daycare not for your children but for your parents.

There are many similarities.

Diapers don't separate the young from the old.

No teeth can be a problem.Some have to have pureed food like babies who eat food from a jar.

Temper tantrums.You have heard of the terrible twos wait till the naughty necked nineties start.Why old folks get the urge to take their clothes off in public is a mystery.

By the way the day you walk or more likely are rolled through the front door of the OFH(old folks home)you just leave your modesty at that door.Just about every Nurse and CNA has seen my hiney by now.It's nothing personal.

Old folks can be mean.

Don't think cause we are old some of them won't hurt you.They scratch,kick,bite(well some of them)and take swings at you good as any two year old.

You have heard of that famous gang haven't you.

The CRIPS!

As this is being written it is a full moon night.

Everything said I'm blaming it on that full moon.

Fear inherited

I don't like snakes.

If they where furry and cuddly and make cute little sounds maybe I would feel different.

Never has a snake hurt me.

Several times they have scared me.

Once as a little boy I almost stepped on a rattler that was coiled up ready to strike.Most likely I would have reached down and picked it up but Daddy seemed fit to use extreme prejudice on the snake with a garden hoe.

One close encounter with a snake we met up and I guess it was just as scared of me as I was of it.It ran one way and me the other.

Hunting one fall with Daddy,leaned up against a tree,slithering over the brown golden orange leaves I seen a big snake headed straight for us.

Daddy I see a snake.

He never seen it,he out run me back to the car,by the way he had a gun leaving his little boy to catch up with him.

Aunt Lema was bit by a rattler picking black berries and almost died.

Maybe that fear of snakes is inherited.

I think facing a bear would be more pleasant than facing a snake.

Bears are at least furry and cuddly.

Wrecked chicken truck

Chicken legs for lunch yesterday.

Chicken legs for supper yesterday.

Lunch today chicken legs.

Guess what we had for supper today...think real hard you can do it...take a few minutes to think about your answer...you are a genius Einstein...chicken legs.

I read with interest about a truck loaded with frozen chickens that wrecked recently.

Do you suppose....

Walking shadow

I seen something last night at the time nothing much was thought of it.

Around 8 pm after getting into bed with the privacy curtain pulled around me I seen it.

A shadow of a person,medium height,taking it's time it seemed walking past the outside of the curtain.

Through the wall that shadow disappeared.

What or who it was is up for discussion.

You are gone

It’s just now started sinking in.

You are gone.

Friend,confident,lover.

Your life was one of tragedy.

Abandoned at birth raised by a woman you called Grandma who wasn’t any blood connection.

On your own at 17 living on the streets of Ohio.Eating out of dumpsters,sleeping in cars.

A forced abortion by family.Given a plane ticket to New York City alone you traveled fighting all the way till the end of baby Jonathan’s life who you loved and wanted.

I think, no ,I know that part of your life never left your presence.Till the end that guilt and pain was always with you.

Then the fire that took away your husband’s and brother’s life that October night.

Your two girls and son where your life.

What I will always remember about you was that smile.Each time I seen it you reminded me of a precious innocent little baby that I wanted to hold and protect.

You I’m thinking of tonight.

A life full of things not deserved.

How...

How can a person claim,own,sell something they did not create,conceive or build.

Talking about God's good green Earth.

I believe as the Native Americans.

We can't own the sky,rivers or the green grass we walk on.

Women on choppers

Women on choppers
Not messin with them
Women on choppers like to fight
Kick hit and bite

Women on choppers
Leave them be
Women on choppers
They are kinda cute to me

309

Sugar this morn was 309
But I feel fine
Lately high all the time
It's that good food I do dine

Tell all you meet
Even those you tweet
Don't give me treats
I'm to sweet

Earth tilted

It must have happened as we slept.

Did you noticed anything or what time it took place?

Was it a  phase shift of the Earth's axis that is playing havoc with my body?

I'm pretty sure that is the cause of my dilemma.

It slipped up on us like butter on popcorn.

Am I the only victim?

This tilting of my body the leaning to the right an involuntary motion that I have when laying in bed.

Well maybe it's not a phase shift of Earth's axis but a curving of my spine that is causing this awkward situation.

Mind wanders

On this cold Friday the last day of February my mind wanders to warmer days.

Out drawing Matt

A kid.
Saturday night around 10.
No matter how I tried.
Never could I out draw Mr. Dillon.

The moment we die

Shadows

Shadows on the wall
See all the time
Doesn't bother me at all
They friends of mine

Redheaded stepchild

Breakfast was great.One of those $5 types.

Thick sliced crispy bacon,fried egg,grits and a biscuit.

The type of breakfast us Southern boys grew up on.

All that was missing was crispy fried hash browns.

But I have a complaint.

Here at the old folks home renovations are being made in the kitchen.Think it is finished but have to wait on the Fire Marshall's inspection before being used.

So for the past week or so our food is coming from the hospital that owns this place.

My gripe.

The hospital sends over by chuck wagon this thick crispy old fashioned real honest to goodness bacon.

I love it!

When the kitchen here starts back up we will most likely get that thin fake chicken bacon.It will be a disappointment after that real bacon.

Is the hospital serving their patients and residents at the other old folks home they own this real bacon and we get the fake stuff?

Now I know how the redheaded stepchild at a family reunion feels like.

My name is

To some my name is John.

Some call me Johnny.

John Lee is another name.

I also answer to Pete...Momma sometimes called me this...Momma why you calling me Pete?...never an answer just a smile.

Pedro and Hoss Fly is what Daddy called me.

Gooney Bird was a childhood name...big ears looked like wings.

George is what a girlfriend called me...I was afraid to ask why.

Around the old folks home I answer to Joe,George,Big Head,J.B short for John the Baptist,Sugar and last but not least Sweet Cheeks.

Haynes is often mispronounced Hines or Hays but it's ok I know it's me you are calling.

Haynes(French for man with many names)is pronounced like Haines.

Yes I answer to many names.

If ever I'm blessed multiple personalities I have a name for each one!

Asked that question

I can’t say I’m not afraid of death.

But this I can say death is not dreaded.

People I think fear the unknown,change,not being in control.

We have a hard time letting go of life,the ones we don’t won’t to leave behind,possessions that keep us earth bound,material things.

I will admit death confuses me.

The Bible said “THE DEAD KNOW NOTHING and DEATH IS LIKE A DEEP SLEEP”,in the grave we stay till the return of Jesus.

Others say at the moment of death our spirit or soul leaves the body and goes on for it’s final judgment.

Oh how wonderful it would have been if Lazarus had wrote of his death,what it was like.

I’m sure in his time he was asked that question.

That game

Watergate
Kent State
People crying
People dying

Peace sign
Vietnam
Race war
Government lying

Burn baby burn
Malcolm X
JFK MLK RFK
What we learn

Black Panthers
KKK
Everyone wishing

Just go away

1960'S
I was there
Free love
Long hair

Nothing has changed
Still same
Everyone playing
That game

Nothing imitation

Good no excellent breakfast past two days.

Real not that chicken imitation bacon,thick sliced and crispy,fried egg,grits and a biscuit.

The kitchen here is being renovated and all meals are coming from WGMC the hospital that owns this old folks home.

Lunch and supper always come from there with breakfast made here.

Wonder if they serve that good bacon all the time at the hospital?

Full moon survival

Made it through the full moon around the old folks home without incident.

Far as I know anyway.

Did hear someone calling for help then somebody a nurse I think screaming 911 911.

Full moons can be interesting around here.

The zombies come out.

They walk the floor endless the term is called sun downing.

I know that term well,my Mom suffered from dementia and let the sun set and agitated she got.

Update

Room 31 update.

Room renovations complete.

New green shag carpet is down and the maroon painted walls drying as I speak.

The mirrored ceiling and glass revolving disco ball add atmosphere to our humble abode.

A new microwave/Mr Coffee maker/fridge combo sure makes it convenient here in 31.

By the way Orville Redenbacher is the official popcorn of room 31.

Those 60 inch hi def TV's mounted above the ceiling of each bed is what the kids call"the bomb".

As I soak in the giant hot tub sipping on a margarita eating a taco the view of the Atlantic ocean takes me back to my sea faring days but that is another story for another day.

Stay tuned for more exciting room 31 update.

Blame this guy

Hello friend.

Yes you sitting there on your computer.

How is your day going so far?

Does it feel like the butter has slipped off your biscuit?

Is it going to be one of "those days".

Where nothing goes as planned.

The faster you go the farther you get behind kind of day.

A day that even jogging in a jar(prune juice)is about as exciting it's going to be.

A day when the bird of paradise finally flys over your head and...you know.

Even your dog won't socialize with you.

I have the perfect person to blame your troubles on.

Yes.

That cute little guy from those Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Guessed who yet?

This guy.

The big one

Snow,ice,and now an earthquake felt in Georgia around 2 am Saturday morning.

I've always heard Georgia is on a fault line and a big earthquake is way over due.

As Fred Sandford would say..."This is the big one Elizabeth".

Pssst

Pity party time at the old folks home.

Complaining about your life and situation only turns people off.

Pssst...Cheer up...think positive.

Dude!

Dude!
It's 2014...where's my flying car?

Redneck romantic rhyme

Your Valentine poem
Just for youse
Youse I loves
Really I doose

Sticking to you
Like a bugger on fanger
Me loves youse
Mo than my Ford Ranger

Get in da truck
I'm a big spender
Off to the Krystal we go
Now this is romantic don't you know

All dressed up
Jeans and flip flops
Your best T shirt
The one stained by pork chops

I might shave
Might wear socks
Promise you I'll
Try to behave

Youse kinda pretty
Little bit smart
Those six fingers those six toes
It don't matter no one knows

I've said a little
Maybe a lot
I loves youse
Here have my tater tots

My spell checker going wacky
Wonder why
Yeah I know
My poem be tacky

But I loves youse
Telling you true
Now tells me
Don't youse loves me to

Blessed

Blessed this morning...ice storm missed LaGrange/Troup County...someone brought me pinto beans and cornbread for my lunch...very blessed.

Looking back

In that 70's mood
Things from the past
It was a blast
Yes feeling the groove

Those pointed collar shirts
Baggy pants
Platform shoes
Those crazy rants

Hair
Shags be the style
Really glad
The 70's lasted only awhile

Now I'm old
No more being 23
Fun looking back
Memories so good for me

Don't laugh,don't judge

Listen!

Hear it?

The trigger of a big gun being slowly pulled.

We are under the gun as in the old saying.

Talking about the weather.Ice,snow is being predicted for the great state of Georgia.

After the fiasco of two weeks ago no chances are being taken.Schools in northern part of the state are already closed and it's only raining and above freezing right now.

Snow is one thing but ice storms are another.They are no fun.

Heard on the news about the snow storm of a couple weeks ago people up north were in awe how it was handled down here in Georgia.

What you have to remember is this,snow is so rare here we are not equipped for it.Maybe up in the mountains of Georgia they have snow plows and such but not around here.About the only thing that is done around here in these snow/ice events is bridges and over passes are salted down,that is all.

100 degrees summer temps with 95 % humidity,floods,earthquakes,tornadoes and hurricanes we deal with cause the South is use to them.

Snow/ice we are not.

So don't laugh,don't judge.

We didn't when 900 plus people died in Chicago a few years ago during a heat wave one summer.

Real versus fake

Real versus fake.

Real wins every time.

This morning for breakfast I got the real stuff...bacon not that stuff called chicken bacon.

Thick,crispy I almost wanted to call it strick-o-lean.

Same way with sausage real is what I like and want not that turkey or chicken substitute supposed to be healthy for us stuff.

One day in the future a study will be made and the results will be this turkey and chicken this and that is what's killing folks.All those baby chickens and little gobblers being pumped with hormones and steroids so they grow faster can't be good for us humans.

Look at it this way would you rather have a real diamond or one of those cubic zircoinas ?

Ready

The ground hog may say 6 more weeks of winter but the little birdies say spring is near.

Two pairs of different breed birds have been fluttering outside my window and chirping up a storm.

They are ready!

I'm a bad man

Drama drama drama.

A grown man,same age as me,acting like a spoiled little boy.

Watching TV yesterday and it wasn't on his channel and moan and groan he did.

Seems for once he didn't have control all day of the remote.

People where watching other things beside replays of women's basketball that we bare because he likes it and might I add most of the time he is asleep holding the remote.

I know I'm a bad man but him being denied control of the remote I enjoyed.

I half way expected him to bust out crying,he does that a lot really if life doesn't go the way he wants.

He couldn't take it and finally just took the remote and watched his program without asking please,may I,or do you mind.

Watching him squirm was fun!

Yes I'm a bad man.

Explained

Listening to a rebroadcast of Dreamland with Art Bell I think the time for me to explain things about me has come.

Some call me Big Head John Haynes.

Maybe just maybe the reason for my Big Head can now be told.

Are you sitting down earthling?

Yes you earthling!

Have you seen me at places walking lately and you thought it was just a dream?

Do you wonder if there is just a little something strange about ole Big Head?

Do you at times think you see me glowing a crab apple green?

Does a chill run down your spine when you enter room 31?

Do you wonder why I like tomato soup so much?

Do you wonder why I have that blank no expression look when Walker Texas Ranger is playing on the TV?

Why do we have chicken so much on the menu oh sorry my mind is starting to wander.

Yes earthlings these questions I  can't answer and I can't figure out how to end this story so pick from the following endings:

1.Big Head is bored and just passing time.

2.Big Head has finally slipped off his rocker.

3.You are wondering why you're reading this haven't you got better things to do
don't you know life is short?

4.Pick #3 it sounds about right.

5.Ok if you think this is easy you make up an ending yeah it ain't that easy is it?

Drift off

Laying here today I thought why go on.It would be easier just saying enough of this leave me alone and go to sleep.

Drift off into the unknown.

Being a big chicken keeps you from doing a lot of things.

Braver facing the situation people say.

That really means you're scared as Hati of what comes next.

Weird strange disturbing

Weird strange disturbing dreams past few nights.

Dead people snakes stuff like that.

What it means who knows and I'm not really concerned.

Was nice visiting with those that have passed on.

Didn't like the snake dream a bit.

I have always heard when you dream about snakes it means you have enemies.

Dang thang bit me in my dream.

Prayer of the pitiful

I write about what I know,see and hear.

99% of it is true.

Sometimes just like Hollywood things are added to the story just to make it interesting.

Today is a true nothing added story.

Listening to one of my roomies pray yesterday.

Prayer of the pitiful I call it.In this prayer there was no praise or thankfulness.Just a prayer of what was going bad in their life.

I thought to myself does the Lord really hear these prayers or does he just ignore them.

Please can't you just be a little thankful for something a blessing that has been bestowed upon you.

Negative thoughts and self pity are a waste of time.Be positive.Be thankful.Be joyous.Appreciate what others do for you.

Nobody gets through this life without disappointments.You are not alone with setbacks and suffering.

Give thanks for what is good in your life.

Random ramblings

Thankful for headphones.

One of my roomies must be over medicated.He repeats the same thing over and over all last night.A broken record.

5 degrees as this is being wrote.

Guess what?

City truck with a load of sand showed up a day late and dollar short as in the old saying.

The driveway here is clear of ice since yesterday.

Atlanta mayor getting flack about not being prepared for snow bowl 2014.So is the governor.

Will they take responsibility or pass the buck?

Ms Ruby stayed over at the old folks home Tuesday night so us residents would have hot food.Thank you! 

Hard day

After a long hard day of life this is what I need!

Old folks home

The sounds,smells,attitudes of some people at the old folks home you get use to.

Sounds of grown people in their second childhood,crying,pouting,confused and just very pitiful.

The smells you can only guess.But what can you do.What peeves me off is not the smells but the attitude of some who work here.I'm sure they don't pee perfume and I bet their s... does stink also.So enough of the holier than thou mind set.

I must say in fairness some of the best people ever work here.I tell the CNA's daily how much I appreciate them.Without them I would be up that creek without a paddle.

Some should not be here.This is a job where you have to be compassionate to people and if your heart is not in the job you should not be working here.

This is how I see life at the old folks home.

My father's son

I am
My father's son
Now I understand
Things you said and done

I am
Just like you
In the way
I think and do

Drill

I see snow
The drill you know
Off to the stoe
We better go

Closed

Room 31 will be closed for business Tuesday and Wednesday because of snow.

Mr B,Wille,Paul and me can be found at Callaway Monument sliding down the big hill in our pasteboard boxes.

Paul has been elected as room 31 spokesman because he has a way with words.

Please direct all inquires to Paul.

Room 31 thanks you in advance.

Reason escapes me

I want to go home!

That's what a new resident said today.

A lady about my age I will guess.

A feeling of sadness like a damp blanket covered me.She was lost,not knowing where she was or why.

I noticed her a few days ago and at first thought she was a visitor till I noticed a bracelet on her arm that locks doors automatically if you try opening them.

Dementia is a cruel disease.

Several here are in the different stages of it.

My Mom suffered with it for years.

God there must be a purpose for this and all other suffering but that reason why escapes me.

Crossed eyed

These folks using those blue tooth gadgets talking on their phone confuse me.

Are they talking to me,someone else or themselves?

It could be me they are talking to so I better listen,no it's someone else and I'm being rude listening,no they are just crazy people talking to themselves quick hide from them.

I had a crossed eyed boss years ago.

Same thing.

Often I wondered who he was talking to.

Dial up

I always knew this day would come.

It has happened.

I am old.

My brain is like dial up internet in a DSL world.

Thinking fast is a thing of the past for me.Sometimes I see and hear in slo mo.Names are my biggest problem.Can't get them out fast enough.But give me time the name will come to me.

Thirsty

Laying here in bed last night,the call button system out,that's how us residents let the Nurses and Cna's know something is needed,my mouth felt like cotton.I had been eating honey roasted sunflower seeds and I was thirsty for a drink of water and my container was empty.

Dozing off thirsty thinking how a sip of water would be so wonderful.

Around midnight I woke up and reaching for my container it was still empty and I was even more thirsty.

Dozing off again but not for very long and I made a bad choice a few more handfuls of sunflower seeds I snacked on.

Awake,thirsty staring at my water container in the dark room lit by the street lights through the open window I seen it.

Ice in the water container!

Cold delicious refreshing life saving water.

My life was good again.

Thank you unknown life saver for that cool drink of water.

You

You are the smell of honeysuckle in spring
You are the smell of burning leaves in fall
You are the cool breeze on a summer's day
You are the howling wind on a winters's night

Proof

I watched with interest this week on TV as Atlanta mayor Kasim Reed and several other dignitaries where at a ground breaking for something or another.

Shovels in hand they lifted them in sync.

The dignitaries got it right.Into the hole their dirt went.

But a different outcome for the mayor.

His shovel was turned sideways and his load of dirt just slipped off.

Might have been proof the mayor never used a shovel before or did anything or any kind of real work.

Going to the show

Kids my generation called it going to the show.

Most of the time those movie trailers where better than the movie.

Remember standing outside the show with your friends looking at the movie posters saying"I wanna see that?

How can...

Slaw dog and tater chips for lunch.

How can I  convince someone to sneak out and get me a vanilla milkshake?

Full moon strikes

Full moon strikes the old folks home.

Supper time last night was entertaining.

I heard someone growling like a dog.No I didn't turn around to see who or maybe what it was.

Another resident fussing and cussing another because he thinks other resident has moved into his home.It got loud for a bit.

Nurses walking around praying "Lord help me Jesus".

Another nurse said I'm not going to medicate that woman I'm going to medicate myself.

Just another full moon around the home.

More politicians like this man needed.People before party line.

Visit to hospital prompts lawmaker to back medical marijuana

Oh I think...

New year same old politics.

Shame on you Republicans in the Senate.

They voted not to extend long term unemployment benefits for USA citizens out of work.

What is it with these people?

Oh I think I understand.

No help for our citizens because banks and big business might need that spare cash laying around.

Seen a poll that 55% of the American citizens approve of extending benefits 34% don't favor  it.

I guess that 34% must have a job.

What

CNN asks if Duck Dynasty scandal will help or hurt show?

Uhhh...what scandal?

Blank

Nothing to write about.

Same ole thing in politics.

NJ governor caught up in George Washington Bridge gate.Maybe it should be caller Revenge gate.That's all it boils down to.Governor mad at mayor for non support in his Presidential campaign.One Lady did die because of all this silliness.Charges for that in my humble opinion.

Republicans desperate.Saying NJ governor not as bad as President and Hillary.

Rodman in Korea running his mouth.His good friend is Kim Something Whatever or as I call him Crazy Little Fat boy the one who had his Uncle executed.Nice kid huh.

Weather.Everybody got some.

Food.Chicken everyday some sort or fashion or another.

I'm just blank on what is interesting to write about.