What would be good for supper?

Hi everyone whats going on with you today?Not much happening around my humble abode today.Thinking what would be good for supper and so far no answer.I like to cook,simple things,beans,peas cornbread simple filling stuff.Seen a chili cornbread casserole recipe that looks great and want to try it soon.Also I have been wanting some cornbread dressing,a peach cobbler oh my mouth is watering now.Ok that is about all for now.Just me and the little kittens in here,they are full of spit and vinegar today running around chasing each other.

Milestone

Well it's Tuesday afternoon and all is well or is it cause I have no clue.Don't matter really,I have always accepted what ever came down.This I know,it is cool here.This morning almost stayed in bed with covers pulled over my head.It was so warm and cozy.Today does mark a milestone in my life and for some unknown reason it doesn't seem that important.Oh well that's what is going on here with me.

Have you ever?

Have you ever been laying in bed not a sleep just thinking?Have you ever been afraid to let your arm hang over the side of the bed?Have you ever had the feeling something just might grab your arm ?Something that is hiding under your bed just waiting for you?

US 29

Highway 29,US 29.Seems I have always lived near that road.When I was a kid ,on summer nights,window open in my bedroom,laying there thinking of life and all it's problems and how mine would be someday I could hear the big 18 wheelers winding thru the gears,the whining of the tires,it was always a comfort for me hearing them.Then the occasional siren from a Police,Fire Ambulance vehicle would jerk me back into reality.I could hear Bob Whites,Mocking Birds singing at night oh how I love that.Yes US 29 will always be in my memories.

First day rest my life

What's that old saying"first day of the rest my life" well that is where I'm at.Big changes for me and really I am taking it extremely well.I get a little twinge every once and a while and no biggie ,can handle it ,well so far any way.Heard things about me I didn't know so that was a little shock.Yeah my ego took a hit and there is some thing else but can't think of the word right now.Oh well life goes on doesn't it,I have been through worse,and this shall pass also,maybe it has already.

Big news

Big news folks,are you sitting down?Guess what?I am a paid writer,yessss me,JohnLee is a paid writer.I just found out I made $1.86 for my blogging. Just think people said I would never mount to anything.

Let me know

Hello www land people.Am I wasting my time here?Let me know if anyone is reading this stuff,leave a little comment,it can be good,bad or indifferent just as long as you leave some type of comment.

I tease you cause I love you

Hi everybody,how you doing?I'm in the mood to write today so good for me bad for you huh?Just teasing haha.Speaking of teasing I do alot of it.When teasing it's done with love believe me.I had a little fuss last night with someone.I thought it was teasing they said I was picking on them.Listen ,come closer,I have something to tell you.Now get this,tattoo it somewhere on your body so you will never forget what I'm about to say.When I tease you it means you are lucky,yeah lucky cause I only tease those I love and care about.So please excuse ole JohnLee if I hurt feelings cause never would I be so cruel to do it on purpose.So,with that said ,peace,love and happiness to all out there in WWW land.

A change in the air

Well it's been awhile since I wrote anything.Maybe I was busy or maybe I had nothing to say.Whatever I am back.The seasons are changing.Starting to look and feel like fall will be here soon.Even the temp is cooler.Other morning I woke up early and it was so cool,so nice,I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and keep on snoozing.

Wait and see

Hi everyone hope every thing is going good for you today.Another same o same o day here.I'm starting to sort out things that are going on in my life.Only thing I'm afraid of is making the wrong choice.That holds alot of us back doesn't it that afraid I am doing whats really best for us thing or this will be a big mistake.Oh well guess I will just wait and see.

Big Boy Black

My new friend.I have a new friend.His name is Big Boy Black.I said never again would I get attached to an animal.But he just sneaked his way into my heart.He lays on the puter desk and types and by chance he does pretty good.Some of the searches that come up are scary.The other day while walking across keyboard he typed 666 and a search of the anti Christ came up.So is he a cat or prophet?

Color TV from a blackand white set

TV does not interest me anymore.It is rare that something will catch my eye.Sometimes on the history channel or A&E I will find something.When I was a kid the word for me was TV junkie.On any given day I knew by heart the schedule for that day.That was way back then when 3 channels of black and white TV was all you had.Not what people today would call an entertainment center.One night alone with the TV they announced the next program would be in living color.Silly me sat there waiting for a color program on a black and white TV.They did have these little gizmos that was a color wheel you could sit in front of your TV and see color.Gee ain't we got sophisticated today.

Tree house

I just remembered how much fun it was when I was a kid.The guy next door had a tree house and we would sleep overnight in it.It was so peaceful and relaxing.Maybe us grown kids should get a tree house.Sure better than taking some of the meds to relax.

When

I don't think this heat will ever break.I know least I hope it will.But it is August and it's suppose to be hot and muggy.The day will come and someone,someone like me will say it's cold when will this cold break.Just can't be satisfied with what we have .

Someone

All my life I think one thing was my passion ,desire or just what I wanted.Everyone at one time or another wants this.It is a partner,companion,spouse what ever you want to call it.Someone who you trust blindly,someone you know will backup you up.Someone who will laugh with you someone who will cry with you.Someone to hold me,someone who will tell me everything will be ok.When I am lonely someone who will take away that loneliness.When I'm scared someone to take away my fears.When I cry someone who will wipe my tears away.Someone.

My new attitude

Like that Pointer Sisters song I got a new attitude.Things won't get my goat as easy .I know it's been said before in the past but gonna really try this time.I enjoy life people and my self when my attitude is good.No more pity parties for ole JohnLee.Is it true what happens was meant to happen?I don't know but I think we can change our life by having a good outlook on it.When folks are in a bad mood I won't join in I will smile to myself and say what a good day to be alive.I never know whats around the corner could be something good so wait for it,expect something great it might just happen.In short I refuse to let others bring me down.

Big Springs Road

Big Springs Road.I lived there when I turned 10.Just stayed there for a few years it seemed like.Across the street from the house was an old huge rundown empty house.At one time I bet it was a charming place to live.It had so many rooms.It was kinda spooky.My favorite cousin Mike who was older was visiting us.In the old spooky place we where looking around.Mike kicked a door open and it bounced back toward him like it had been pushed.He ran out screaming and I followed.I didn't know why he was running I just ran because he was.GrandMa Haynes lived with us.I don't remember it but Momma said that me and GrandMa where alone and she had some type of attack.I freaked out they said but I must have blocked it out till this very day I don't remember it.Any way it was a heart attack and a few days later she died in the hospital.

To my WWW friends let me know

Hi everyone out there on the WWW .Hope your day is going the way it should.Honestly I hope this day ranks right up there with the best day of your life.Yeah do you see where I'm going with this post?It's your day and what ever you have on your mind I wish you would leave a comment for me.I don't even know if this blog is being read by anyone so do me a big ole favor and leave a word for me.Till later my WWW friends.

The game

Well I feel sad.Sometimes the B.S. is so bad you just want to say whats the use .Sometimes I know it's B.S. when I first hear it then other times it takes a while to sink in.There is an old saying fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.Yep I know it's just a game,a two sided street.I am far from perfect I will be honest enough to say that.

Be ready

Life is way to short.When you are a kid time drags.Christmas will never get here it seems when you are 8 years old.Now in the fall or is that early winter of my life I want it to slow down just a bit.Like the old joke where the preacher said everyone who wants to go to Heaven raise your hand.All did except for one man.The preacher said man don't you want to go to Heaven?Sure I do the man said but I thought you was getting up a bus load to go now.Guess that is the way I feel.I think there are still some things I need to do or finish.But one never knows when the Grim Reaper will vist.So I guess the moral of the story is be ready,ready for what ever might happen.

What is missing?

Ok it's Saturday afternoon the 14th of the month.Not much is going on around here just the normal stuff.Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water,a bastard child at a family reunion yep it's that type of day so far.I know one should be thankful for all our blessings and I have many.But do you ever get the feeling something is not just right or that you are missing something very important?Maybe I have an idea what it is and I will discuss it further with myself as the day goes on.

Friday 13th

It's Friday the 13th.So far well lets see.Alaina cut her foot and needed stitches but that was yesterday but today it is giving her problems.Cami was in a mood and said she was quitting band.Today was the last day of band camp and tomorrow evening they are having a school thing.Chris is having a problem with her foot and I'm worried about it.Me I just slept all day.So I hear this is the only Friday 13th this year.All I can say is good.

Do you know whats wrong with me?

I have just found out something about my self.Something I didn't realize.When the suns goes down my emotional state changes.I get depressed and lonely for some reason.My Mom who had Alzheimers did this and after reading up on when she was alive it was called sundowning.Sundowning is when people with Alzheimers start feeling agitated.I don't feel agitated but I feel depressed and lonely.Have no idea whats going on.Being diabetic maybe that is the reason,I did research on the web about that but it was no real help.Mornings I so full of energy and want to talk and have fun but this is getting to me a bit.I guess more research is needed.Hmmm should I fear the men in the white coats and nets?

Cat lady from hell

Stressful around here today.First off we thought the neighbor had captured one of our cats.She has been doing that lately for some reason,why we don't know.Matty the neighborhood cat who lives here came up missing last week.He wanders from house to house exploring and I know he likes getting into people's cars and rests there.Matty would walk up to a stranger with his tail in the air and make friends.Matty is gone.We had 2 momma cats disappear at the same time last year.A grand total of 20 kittens died because of that.Chris manged to save 1,Patches out of those 2 litters.By the way Patches had her kittens yesterday.T he neighbor's Grandson told me that he and Grandma where catching cats and taking them to cat jail.All she had to do was just let us know our cats where in her yard and we would zoomed out there and got them.I had the talk with her not long ago telling her not to catch the cats just let us get them.I think she is on a mission now just to hurt the cats.Remember this the golden rule"do unto others as you would have them do unto you"Lot of people have forgotten it or maybe never learned it.

I never was a tough guy

The Sopranos.That is one of my favorite TV programs.Strange but when It was on HBO it never interested me.But after seeing reruns on A&E I got hooked.I'm not a tough guy like Tony.I don't wont' to be like Tony.But it makes for good TV watching.I'm glad that little ole chicken me doesn't have the heart to kill without mercy.People can do that I have thought when laying in the dark of night in my quiet bed when your mind is racing 430 miles per hour.How can people be so cruel?Like my Aunt Pauline said once I love everyone but there are some I don't like.I know people are different some have no what we use to call a conscious .Some have no remorse.Some are just plain out mean and devilish.I wonder when someone chooses that life if they sleep without nightmares. I am not Tony Soprano.

A time for a hero

I had a hero once.He was someone who could do no wrong.He was big,strong and brave.Righteous and fair always looking out for the underdog.Then one day I grew up and reality hit me hard at age 14.My bubble was busted.But you know maybe It was for the best.On that day I learned we are all just mere humans and maybe that was better than him just being a hero.

I should be dead

I should be dead.Thinking of all the things that have happened to me in my life I wonder why I'm still alive.As a kid I had a bad habit of digging tunnels and caves.Why I made it through that phase without a cave in is a mystery.I slid off a barn once,on my belly I hit the ground with enough force it knocked my breath out.My cousins and I made a tent out of a blanket,why we had a broken brick on top I don't know,but yeah it fell and I had a hole in the top of my head.It was a Sunday and we where running late for church so Momma just reached into the fireplace got a hand full of black soot and dabbed it on the hole in my head.Guess it worked,the bleeding stopped but I did have a black spot on my head for awhile.I had plenty of bike wrecks ending up with scrapes and cuts but never a broken whatever that I know of.Once on my bike I ran into a clothes line it caught me at the neck and thew me off,thought I was dead cause stars where seen and lost my breath again.My worse bike crash happened when I was about 8,coming down a long step hill on a bike the chain came off,to my left was a cow pasture with barb wire in front of me was a car stopped in the road,you know which one I hit,yep the car,It through me off the bike which was smashed double into the back window of the car.The people in the car screamed he's dead he's dead,no I'm not I said raising off the trunk of the car,got out of that one with just a broken front tooth.Gee that football helmet I had on saved me .The close call with cars and still alive amazes me.But you know what they say only the good die young.

Speaking Womanesse

I will never understand women.They just don't have the same humor gene that us men have.What's funny to me will 9 times out of 10 send a women into an eye rolling convulsion.I can be dead serious about a subject and for the sake of me women can't understand what I'm trying to get across.It must be true women are from Venus and men are from Mars.We are so completely different yeah physical difference is obvious but our mental difference is 180 degrees out of wack we have a phase shift going on here.So if by any chance a woman stops by and reads this how about leaving a comment on how we men should speak Womanesse and be understood.

Fortunate sons

There was a song once called Sunday morning coming down.It was one of the saddest I ever have heard.At the time I thought how awful it would be to live like that.Homeless no family around.Could I survive life like that I wonder.I have lived a blessed life sorta.I always had plenty to eat,a bed to sleep in,always had shoes to wear if I wanted to wear them and clothes on my back.I know people who haven't been so fortunate.I have always felt that in this great wonderful country of ours that everyone no matter who or what they have done or didn't do should have food in their belly and a safe place to lay their head at night.

It was a good choice

I use to have a hobby.It was called Amateur Radio or just ham radio for short.I haven't turned a radio on in years now but it's still in my blood as people say.1976 I got my license or ticket hams call it.My call sign was WN4PFG.The N meant I was an novice operator.The term limit on the ticket was 2 years,At that time if you did not upgrade in that 2 year time limit you had to wait another year before retaking the novice test.I got brave and lucky and went to the FCC office in Atlanta and took my general test and passed first try.Back in those days the test was a written test and a code test.When I say code it is morse code or as hams call it cw.5 wpm for novice 13 for general and advanced and 20 wpm for extra,wpm means words per minute.Now my call sign was WA4PFG which I proudly have to this very day as long as I renewed it every 10 years it is mine.I started out with cw as a novice that was the only mode we could use.Upgrading you could use voice,cw,rtty,satelites,etc.I enjoyed cw so that was what I used and became quite comfortable with it.I could drink a cup of coffee smoke a cig and never miss a word copying it all in my head.That was just about the time people started talking about something called home computers.Guess what those home computers sure caught on and just about everyone I knew had one.I heard people talked about them till the point of boring me about the subject.I said to my self no need for me to get one what could I do with a computer.Well guess what I called the Dell man after seeing a TV ad about their computers and 3 days later it arrived.You know what It turned out to be one of the most wonderful things I ever done.All the people I would never have met other wise that computer abled mew to make friends and learn things I never dreamed possible.

Good greasy fried food

My favorite foods.I like home fries with hush puppies and cole slaw.I worked the evening shift quite alot and that was what I cooked when I got home.After midnight in front of the TV eating that greasy fried fattening food.It was great.I remember the first time I made cornbread dressing.It was wonderful I was so proud of my self I had to show the neighbors.Day old cornbread,egg,can of chicken broth and lots of onions chipped up plus the kicker lots of black pepper.Delicious.Potato salad with cornbread greasy cornbread does it get any better that that?I got pretty good at making peach and cherry cobblers.Beans of any kind,pinto,butterbeans,green lima beans,peas like blackeyes,pinkeyes.I can't bake biscuits.My Aunt Lema tried to show me but I never made a good biscuit.So I cheated and bought the frozen biscuits in a bag.Oh they are so good.Did I mention that I gained some weight?It was hard going on a diet but I did once...Ok I just got on the subject of food next time maybe I will get on subject of something healthy.

Dog Days

Saturday morning August 7th and I'm just sitting here my brain is blank.Another hot day but it's like that every where.Having my 3rd cup of coffee and it's pretty good.Mmm some butter cookies and they are excellent with the coffee.It's that time of the day when things move slow.No one is rushing around maybe cause it's Saturday.I think it's dog days now.From what I know that is when it's so hot that it drives dogs crazy.I just remembered ...when I was a kid during what is called dog days Momma would warn me about walking barefooted in the morning dew if I had a cut or something on my feet because it would get infected easy during dog days.Maybe that is just an old wife's tale.I have heard plenty of them.Never wash clothes on Sunday,eat blackeye peas and collards on New years day,what you are doing on New Years day is what you will doing rest of the year.There are many more but that will be a story for another time.

Georgia is my home

Georgia is known for several things.Peanuts,peaches,pimentos, pine trees.I guess the most famous thing or most memorable would be Jimmy Carter.Lots of movies have been made here.Fried Green Tomatoes was one.The Green Berets with John Wayne was filmed was filmed down the road at Fort Benning.Several times I have seen film crews in town with their big lights and trucks filming something.Georgia has mountains in the north Atlantic Ocean to the east and the flat farm land in the southern part of the state.I live in whats called west central Georgia,right on the Georgia/Alabama state line.I was born about 3 blocks away in what was called then City County Hospital.Some of the original hospital still stands but now it is called West Ga Medical Center.Do you remember years ago when you walked into a hospital that smell?The smell of alcohol and ether.I had my tonsils taken out when I was 7 years old and was put to sleep with ether.I remember the smell and being so sick when waking up.The night before it all happen Mom was staying with me in the hospital room.I was restless and crying.A nurse came in and was to give me a shot but I got her crying,my Mom was crying cause I hated shots.So both women where crying along with me.Then it happened.All I remember was a large woman walked into the room and without saying a word rolled me over and stuck me with a needle.So I got my shot.So I know I have strayed off the subject but Georgia is my home,some like it some don't but it is home where I was borned and most likely where I will die.

Lost and found

Have you ever noticed that the french fry that you find in the bag seems to be the best one of all?You know the last one in the bag the one you find after everything else in the bag has been eaten.Then you find one last fry that was hiding.It will be the best .Same way with peanuts.Have you ever run your hands down in the couch hunting for something and find a peanut in the shell,one that escaped the last time you where snacking on them.I guarantee it will be tasty.Maybe this is just a story for a lot of things in life.Maybe I'm writing about things lost and found again.But really I'm just writing about finding that last forgotten fry in the bag.

Keeping peace

Why can't people just get along.I have always went out of my way trying to keep peace.I think some people just want to act like little bratty kids.Oh well what ever makes you happy is what one should do.Many times I have bit my tongue just hoping I would let it go and not say something that later would come back to haunt me.Hope I don't bite my tongue off one day.In my old age I am trying my best to give people room and just let them fume or whatever they do.I just think some people are just rude big mouths and that is their problem not mine.

Juniper Street

I remember when living on Juniper street during summer we had no AC no one did back then.We slept with the doors and windows open yes open.Can you do that these days?Maybe the 50's where different.I never heard of things then like now.Crime is expected ,violence and just plain awful behavior is the norm.Maybe the time of hula hoops and Howdy Doody where the good old days.

Are cats smart?

The cats love keyboards.I have to push them out of the way so I can type.Wish they would pick another spot for their naps.It is aggravating,I will be busy doing something and they will lay on the keyboard and zip bang pow I lose what I was doing.And I think they are deaf and blind cause they have a bad habit of laying in front of people and not moving.They just lay there like they don't care.I made my mind up I figured it out the problem is cats are just not very smart then again maybe they have me figured out.

From Bethel to Lagrange

I never met my Grandpa Smith.He died when Momma was just 5 years old.He was a Baptist preacher and a farmer.Grandpa and Grandma Smith had 13 children.Twin boys where the first born but died shortly after birth.He preached a funeral in LaGrange for someone that they really where not sure what he died of.It was the water,it was bad in the well and lot's of people got sick including Grandpa.He was 40 when he died leaving Grandma with a house full of kids to raise by herself.All of the older kids went to work,being in the country that meant leaving the farm and going to towns like Roanoke,Al or Lagrange.That left momma and her 2 younger brothers and Grandma alone on the farm.Eugene and Bobby mom's brothers tried running the farm but they where just kids.So Grandma said she wasn't living there on the farm alone with the kids so they moved to the big town,Lagrange.So that is the story of how the Smiths ended up in LaGrange.

I need a buzz cut

I took the plunge today.Well not really,what happened was I tried trimming my beard but it didn't work out so well.Better word would be I gapped it out.So I did my best at trim job but ended up just cutting it all off.Not sure if it feels cooler but people say I look 10 years younger and 20 pounds lighter.I think I will keep the clean shaven look for awhile.Now I just need a buzz cut on my head and in style I will be.

Could be worse

Well there just might be something to this global warming thing I hear folks talk about.I 'm not up to date on these scientific things but I know one thing,it is hot dang hot.Being born and raised in the deep south I never minded hot muggy weather much or just didn't pay attention to it.I heard on the TV news that this is the hottest year in recorded history or something like that.Every one I hear from says the same thing it is just hot.Temps near 100 degrees or hotter with the added humidity is just almost unbearable.Someone told me that weather would reverse itself or something like that.Where it's cold will be hot and vice versa.I know just one thing,that snow we had this past winter sure would be nice now but if it snowed here in Georgia during August I would be worrying about the end of the world coming not the hot muggy weather.

Just thinking

Don't love hurt,sting and a few other things I can't say here.It is good we humans fall in love.But seems we can fall out of love just as quick.I have a friend who is my age and married to the same woman for 38 years.I find that so amazing and wonderful.I wonder what their secret is for such an enduring relationship?Like the old saying,guess it's true,better to loved and lost then never loved at all.

We still love you it ain't your fault

I never had anything against yankees.Fact is I love a few of them.So they talk funny or say that I do.There is a test us Southern folk give to people that we just ain't sure of where they come from.It is a simple word but tells so much about one.There is a 4 legged animal with a tail that goes bow wow.You answer that little quiz and if I could hear you it would be know to all where you come from.If you answered correctly the answer should have been dawg,but if you said doggg immediately I would have you pegged as one from north of the Mason Dixon line in other words a yankee.So friends I know all can't be blessed being born way down here but there is still hope just come on down you will be welcomed and loved.

Pray for us

We have decided that there is a stranger,unwanted,evil,stranger in the house.It comes around about 10 pm on some nights.It causes confusion,anger ,mistrust,jealousy just to name a few.I heard a voice,now don't start saying oh yeah now I get it,I really did hear it.It wasn't an audible voice but I heard id just the same.Before you judge and say the boy is wacky just let me finish.The voice said 'THE DEVIL IS IN THIS HOUSE",those where the words .For a while now ,maybe since the first of the year things have been going down hill.My health and Chris's health have worsen.Our relationship with each other has faded some what.Every one is in a bad mood it seems.I have no idea what is going on.Don't think it is a ghost per say but there is something.It seems to be not as strong as before.Chris said I wasn't depressed but being oppressed by what ever evil force that is here.I have lived here for 32 years and never noticed anything strange till lately.Chris prayed,she prayed out loud and it seems to be getting better.So maybe that is what is needed,prayer.I'm asking those who read this to remember us,our family in your prayers.

Friends or the lack of

I aint got no friends it seems,on Facebook that is.The ones I do have are family members,one is Alaina's beau and that is it.I have the grand total of 7.Hey there is one friend of mind T.C.,Topcat,or just Terry.It's no big deal.So JohnLee ain't the most popular kid on the block.The only reason I joined was because of the kids.Yep so I could keep up with what they where doing.They walk around with cell phones stuck to their ears or tapping out text messages with fingers from the time they get up till they fall asleep.You know what I have been thinking of getting one also. They do look like something from the future like Star Trek pocket communicators or something.Sitting on the porch I noticed every car that came by the driver had a cell phone stuck to their ear.And those walking up and down the street had one.I wonder what every one is talking about?Just my luck I don't have anything to say.

Old Guy

It's official.Now I qualify.I am old.58 yep I say again 58 years old.The girls call me old man,butt head was nice but old man?It's okay I don't really mind anymore.I have nothing to prove.Old and gray,slow as a turtle,mean as a snake Cami just said,oh yeah blind as a bat,deaf as a rock dumb as a tree,gee you can tell Cami is helping me describe my self oh yeah her loving enduring word for me is idiot.Your an idiot she says with love I think anyway.Well I just got a compliment from Cami that I smell good so she is now buttering me up for something.

Hot&Cold

Ok what shall I do today.It's way to hot for anything outside,dang temps near 100degs and what ever the heat index is I have no idea.Heat index windchill those are new terms that people use today.If it's hot it's just that hot same way with cold.So no need to fancy up the temperature with some new fangled word.I will admit that hot weather doesn't bother me that much,I rarely sweat and that is bad I've heard.Only time hot muggy weather bothers me is when trying to sleep and you can't because it's so uncomfortable.A few years ago during an ice storm power was lost for a few days.No heat and boy did it get cold.Laying in bed covered with blankets,my coat and wearing a hat I could not get warm.I dreaded having to get up.I missed all the modern convinces,most of all hot coffee.I got tired of tuna fish and peanut butter sandwiches and no not togather but seperate,I'm strange but even I would'nt do that.I missed TV,computers,lights,hot food and that wonderful sound of the central heat coming on.Yeah I'm just a big spoiled baby.

Trust

Monday Monday can't trust that day the song goes.Trust is what I will do for now on.It is the basic requirement of a relationship.Trust in God.Trust in my family.There is an old saying"I'm from the government and here to help you"now I'm not going to let this trust thing get that far out of line.Trust and honesty is what I want in this life.I will trust and I will be honest.

Ice cream,chili,mustard and beards

Ice cream cone and hot weather.The two don't mix.The ice cream melts and will ruin your simple white tshirt.Plus if you have a beard like me there is no dignified way to eat an ice cream cone,same way with a chili dog.I have smarten up some lately.When eating hot dogs I always wear an old shirt cause mustard will ruin a tshirt.I didn't know till recently that mustard was a dye and that is why it won't wash out.Ok I'm through with my cone and through writing for today.

Kugleburg Welander Syndrome

I don't think this has been mentioned but once in my blog.I was born with an neurological problem called Kugleberg Welander Syndrome.KWS for short.I started noticing it when I was about 12 years old.I would stumble and fall.Running was difficult and most likely I would fall.As time went on walking up steps and getting up from chairs where difficult.I really never took it so serious or did I feel sorry for myself saying things like why me what did I do to deserve this.Just wasn't my style.At time s it was just a hassle dealing with it and it did hold me back from doing things I wanted to do.It is an inherited disease,both parents must carry the gene.My uncle JD,Daddy's brother had it and was dead by 40.So here I am at age 58,my left arm and leg don't work right but pain is minimal.I think maybe that is arthritis.After a some what nasty fall and ending up with a blackeye and goose egg on my forehead Chris said maybe it was time I got some help.So for the past few years I have been using a powerchair.It sure makes getting around easier and the risk of falling is now zero.So this is what I'm writing about today.

Closed doors

Closed doors,closed hearts.A closed door means many thing.Closed doors hide what you don't want others to know.Closed doors shut out what you don't want to face.Closed doors mean leave me alone..Closed doors say many things without saying a word.Closed doors hurt.

Momma is free

Momma retired a few months before her 65th birthday.She said she was having trouble running her job.I think Daddy getting sick had lots to do with her getting sick,all that stress.Momma had Alzheimer's.It did not strike me something was wrong till one Sunday we where sitting in the drive thru of a fast food place.Out of the blue Momma said"I have caught cancer from your Daddy".After laughing to myself it hit me she was serious.I tried tell her that cancer could not be spread from person to another but it was no use.I started noticing small things like she could not balance her check book which she kept losing,thank goodness we always found it.She could not pay bills any more,she would get confused and aggravated.Then she would say things so outrageous it was almost funny.So and so said this so and so did that.A few years pass and things aren't funny.She cries her self asleep each night wanting her parents.She is now a little girl.I say Momma and she smiles saying "why are you calling me Momma?I have never been married or have children she would say.There is a condition called sundowning.People with dementia become more agitated as night time nears closer.That is when being a caretaker becomes unbearable at times.Many a night would go sleepless when she would walk the floors calling her parents.We had one good night togather before she went to the hospital.She laughed and ate popciciles she even remembered my name.That was a Saturday night,Monday I had to call an ambulance for her.I knew it was the end.For a week she was in the hospital.Then 21 days at hospice.She had been holding my hand,never speaking,but she squeezed my hand like she knew I was there.I looked up and Momma took a long breath.It was over.Momma was now free.

Father and Son

I was 12 years old the first time me and Daddy went to a dirt track stock car race.From that moment we where hooked.Some Dad's take their son hunting or fishing but our thing to gather was going to races.On Wednesday nights we went to practice,on Friday it was races,same on Saturday night and Sunday.yep we spent a lot of time traveling around Georgia and Alabama on weekends going to the races.Most of the time there would be a car load of us kids and Daddy.Daddy took me hunting twice.Once when I was about 7 I think.It was fall of the year and we where sitting leaned up against a tree.Out of the corner of my eye I seen a snake,it's tongue flickering a few feet from us slithering toward us.I said Daddy there is a snake,that was enough,he out ran me back to the car,leaving me trailing him and to top it off he had the gun.Once we where fishing in the Chattahoochee river,on the banks,my uncle was on rocks in the middle of the river.Anyway something was on my line,it was big,to my surprise Daddy jumped into the river,water up to his chest to get what ever was on my line,to his and my disappointment it was only a sucker fish not a big bass or catfish Daddy had thought it was.So that brings me back to races.That was what we both enjoyed and that is where we bonded as Father and Son.

Storms

It's Monday.Rain and thunder which is great because it has been so hot and muggy lately.One of my favorite things to do is sitting on the screened in back porch on a summer night during a thunder storm.From the porch I have a clear view of the northern sky.Being over the tree tops I can see lighting miles away.Storms have never bothered me.When I worked at the water filter plant for a local mill at times during a storm it would be real interesting.The pumps where located at the river and during a storm the control panel would light up like a Christmas tree with bells a ringing.If the pump shut down I would have to drive over to the mill and put them on city water.Standing at the bottom of a hundred foot water tower with lightning popping around my head didn't phase me a bit.In 1995 my first and only hurricane came through town.It was Hurricane Opal.It was about 9pm when it hit here,I was in bed already with the window up in my bedroom.The wind was howling and trees,power poles came down like match sticks.But silly me I just rolled over and went to sleep.Power was out for a week.I almost burnt the house down.I had left a candle burning inside a tin can.I awoke later that night with alarm ringing,I thought power had came back on and it was the microwave beeping. I was wrong it was the smoke alarms,the candle inside the can had melted the candle holder and was smoking up the kitchen.I was lucky or my guardian Angel was with me that night.

Things about me that are just plain out wrong and bad

About me, things I try to hide.I'm insecure,always have been.It should be against the law to raise a child with no siblings.I wanted that so bad and have missed out on something special.The insecurity has gotten in my way many times.It has destroyed relationships with women.I take every thing to heart,or wrong sometimes.I never meant to hurt people but I know I do.I'm scared alot .And when I say what people say about me doesn't mean nothing to me is a lie.I do care.Which I could get that tough skin some have.I have changed so much lately,I don't know what it is.My kids I never in my life been mad or angry with them and that is God's truth.I will admit at times I do get disappointed cause they are capable of doing so much better.And my better half,I have been a hypocrite at times that double standard thing.I'm guilty of being jealous at times,that is wrong and I'm sorry for it.I can get moody to the point of embarrassing myself.So,my excuse for all this?I have none other than just being human at times.I'm asking the world and all those involved to forgive me,look over my mistakes and give me a day cause usually I'm over them moods then.

Lint Heads

They had names for people like us.The most common word they used was lint head.It came from working in the cotton mills and having lint in your head.My folks would use an air house before leaving their shift but always would be some left.Strange thing but working in the mills feed most everyone direct or indirectly.If you had a business of some sort and you dealt with the public most likely the majority of your trade came from us mill folk.So the professional folk,trade and service type where living off the mills also.When I was a kid the mill was just about the only thing in town where you could get a job.After WW2 my Dad ended up here for some reason and worked in the mill.The only other job I know of that Momma had beside the mill was working as a cashier at a dry cleaners,which by the way is still in business.Houses where provided for the workers and their families.I heard the rent was based on how many rooms in the house.I have lived in many mill houses it seems.It was called a Mill Village.At 6am each working day the work horn would blow,time for shift change.At times I would have to walk to work with Daddy,every body walked in those days,I would wait In the guard house ,waiting for Momma to come out.So I am a son of a lint head and proud of it,I never missed a meal,always had clothes and shoes.I know people that where raised just like me and They have turned their back on the way they where raised,ashamed to admit they where lint heads I guess.

Strange things but no bumps in the night

I have never been a believer in ghost.Only seen or think I seen one thing in the past that I'm not sure of.As a child I heard some one or some thing calling my name,it sounded like a large group of people calling me.Then once at 21 I was alone one night and a voice that sounded like a woman called my name,it said John one time.I told Momma and she said never answer when someone calls your name,I didn't ask for an explanation.Lately I have noticed some strange things.I felt someone poke me in my back the other night while sitting here.Turning around I expected to see one of the kids but no one was there.Out of the corners of my eye I see things move,things like black shadows that move fast and through walls.Laying in bed alone I have felt the mattress give like some one has layed next to me but no one is there.On a few occasions I have woken to see a woman in a long dress with dark long hair just looking at what was on shelves or on the wall,there is no sound and I fall back to sleep.I ask Chris the next morning what she was looking for that late at night but she said it wasn't her.Strange but none of this stuff I see or feel scares me.I know I'm awake when this happens but I can't explain any of it.

Good mood

Watch out world JohnLee is in a good mood today.Anything is possible ha ha.Flitters for breakfast with butter no less.Now on mind is supper,hamburger helper maybe.Cami is on the couch watching Muray,Alaina is in out like a humingbird going from room to room.I'm listening to old music from the 60's sure thankful for headphones.Chris is in another room watching something.Wish the dog had not chewed upped the pool,the girls would enjoy it on such a hot muggy day here way down south.Cami sez I talk funny,Chris mentions it also but hey I don't notice any accent.I was watching a program on PBS years ago,it was about Irish and Welch imigrants to the U.S,the program was subtitled,strange thing but I disn't need the subtitles cause every word they spoke was perfectly clear to me.Welch settled this part of the country.The Haynes's where from Ireland I think and Grandma Haynes was Cherookee.she was so dark,wiry hair.her kids took after her in looks,I always stuck out like a sore thumb at family get togathers with my tow head and blue eyes,so I took after Momaa,not dark black hair and eyes like my cousins on Daddy's side.Back to the way I talk,at times just to aggrivate people I put on my best southern never seen sunshine cause I live so far out in the boonies accent and say words like winder,doe,flo,zinc cheer.Ok that will do it for now cause my train of thought has been derailed a pretty woman just walked into the room.

It's hot

It is hot,temp is in the 90's still this late in the day.By Thursday triple digit temps for all of the east coast.I remember a few years ago close to a thousand people died in Chicago during a heat wave.Most where elderly.I guess people up there are as prepared for heat like down here people can't handle the snow.I have heard people from New Jersey now living here laugh about the way we Southerners drive in snow.He bragged about what he would and could do in the snow.Well he got his chance cause it did snow.Guess what?He was just as bad like rest of us.Guess he didn't know that down here there is no such thing as snow removal equipment.All that is done is some salt or gravel is spread on the bridges.He always put us down Mr. New Jersey did,every chance he got.Well it's just like that great American Lewis Grizzard once said"if you don't like it here Delta is ready when you are".Well said Mr Grizzard.

Random thoughts of a.............

Hmmm whats new?Whats going on with me?Let's see thinking thinking hmmm.Well today has been ok.At times I was slipping but for the most part it's been a ok day.First off puppy was liberated from doggie jail.He escaped Friday but was captured by the roving dog cops.Think Chris thought he was gone,vamossed,never to be seen by us again.Came a pretty good thunderstorm,man the wind did blow.I seen that ugly tree in the yard sway back and forth.It was moving from the base to top of the tree.That can't be good.That brings me to right now.It's Saturday night still light outside.Fireflies have been here for a few days now.My Birthday will be here soon.Seems like I should still be 8 years old running up down Juniper street instead of being almost 58 years old.Where did the years ago?I can hear in my head that song My Uncle Eugene sanged"Wasted Years".Not all my years have been wasted.But could have made better use of them I think.The 7 years looking after Momma where not wasted.Those years could turn out being my most honorable.I kept my promise by keeping Momma home not taking the easy way out by putting her into a home.Sure it was hard,down right unbearable at times but I made it.Keeping Daddy home till the end was another thing I am proud of.They both suffered so much,Daddy with pain,Momma with mental anguish.So here I sit in my rolling chair ha ha ha.Yep I'm a cripple,geek,spatz,freak whatever you want to call me.So I can't stand or walk big deal,lots of folks worse off.I do get aggravated cause I have to have help doing things.At times I feel like a burden and that sucks,yeah it does,my pride I guess.What am I good at?Hmm,taking a long honest look at my self now.......wait wait.Dang I won't say .Maybe I have nothing I am good at.As the Elephant Man said"I'M A MAN" ha ha ha.Going on 9pm,in bed most nights before this.About sleeping,it's been a chore recently.Never in my life have I had trouble sleeping but now days or is that nights I do.Don't know why.When Momma was sick I missed sleep so much.She would be up days at a time,she didn't sleep very well and I couldn't sleep unless she was.One night she let the cat out and while I was getting Sam in she went out the front door to the neighbors house.There is a strange man in my house she told Raymond the neighbor.Next day dead bolts where added to the doors and the key kept in my pocket at all times.I have that uneasy feeling again and I hate it.It makes me so sad and the feeling of no hope is almost unbearable.Why,why,why I think.I will just live with it nothing else to do I guess.Is it just me?I don't know.But it hurts and that is all on that subject

Eyes

Eyes staring, eyes smiling, eyes crying,eyes laughing.Eyes can't lie about what we are really feeling what we are thinking.That is why sunglasses are worn, to keep out the sun but also to hide what we are really thinking.Eyes are windows to our souls I hear.Wonder what my eyes tell about me,other than being blue and bloodshot

Words

I am listening to an old song on internet radio as I sit here thinking.Turn turn turn by the Byrds.In my old age I listen to the words of songs closer.I hear the pain of others who wrote the songs.In my younger days never payed attention much to words.Silly but words can have such a powerful effect on our life.Tone of some one's voice can set up how your day will go.A harsh word or cruel word can hurt worse than a 2x4 upside your head.A happy loving word can raise you up from a low depressing place you have created for your self.So a myth has been proved wrong.Sticks and stones may break my bones yes but words will never hurt me oh how wrong,words can kill.

Me the kids and Jerry

Alaina and Cami have got me watching Jerry Springer.I use to think why would any one watch this stuff but now I'm hooked it seems.

It makes our house look so normal.Really it is therapy I think.And I'm serious ,me and the kids are gonna get tickets and travel to NYC and see Jerry.
.
I just hope we are in the audience and not on the stage

Dog and Cats

Just sitting here by myself every one else is gone.The cats are company and Little Bit the dog is sitting at my feet.That means one thing,it will storm today.He is scared of thunderstorms and stays close to us humans when thunder,lighting and storms come in.He might be a living weather barometer,how he senses it I don't know.Could be his old age maybe arthritis he has acts up.Anyway Just me the dog and the cats here keeping the house occupied.

Daddy

I guess it's cause I'm getting older but lately I have been thinking alot about life.It is way to short.When My Daddy was laying on his death bed he made the comment that every one wants to live long as they can.After he died the first dream I had of him went like this,I was driving and driving and driving the old Caddy,I was lost or something,then I seen Daddy,he was leaning up against a car or truck or whatever,he was so young maybe in his 30's and smiling.After that I started healing with my grief,I think Daddy was telling his Hossfly that every thing was ok and stop the grieving and get on with my life.I miss you Daddy.

Summer

Barefooted was the norm during my summers as a kid.I remember the hot pavement scorching the soles of my feet.Summer meant getting a coupon from the Coca Cola company on your birthday for 2 free cokes at the store of your choice.The smells of summer like Honeysuckle and Formosa trees filing the night air.Crickets and bull frogs serenading you to sleep on a star filled night.No school so you could sleep in late as you wanted.Stay up long as you wanted or could.Friday night on TV channel 5 WAGA TV in Atlanta Bestonk Dooley would host old black-n-white horror movies.Every one had a bike and they would be rode from morning to evening,wow I got exercise back then.Breakfast at Jay McMichels store which would most likely be a bottle of 7up and bag of Fritos.Summer has always been my favorite season.

Redneck

I have heard the term redneck used many times.Often I wonder if whoever is calling someone that really knows what a redneck is.Don't take my word research it yourself.I've know many rednecks,They are hard working God fearing salt of the land people.They are the ones who feed us by growing crops in the field.The term redneck comes from working outside in the blazing heat of summer bearing down on your neck.It's like my Momma always said everyone has to have someone to cut down to make them self look bigger.

Smiling Faces

Smiling faces,hidden agenda.How can one really be sure what is going on in some one's head.Maybe it's best we don't know.I would not want to be a mind reader.Just think,most likely what was heard is not what we wanted.Have you ever felt uneasy when someone smiles too much at you? Doesn't feel sincere does it? "What are they thinking?" I wonder.It would be better just frowning than smiling not meaning it.So people tell me"John smile more" but after thinking about it maybe what I have been doing is best.[

East Newnan

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Jacob Haynes Civil War

Jacob Haynes was my Great grandfather.He was a solider in the Civil War, a member of the 3rd Alabama Infantry Regiment.He was wounded and captured at the battle of Vicksburg,Ms. where he lost of a leg.Why he fought I do not know.He had no slaves or plantation.Maybe he fought because of his pride.Maybe because his family members, his friends where going to fight.I don't think it was because of hate of Union soldiers or for that matter the United States.Could it be that he was really upset about states rights which I think was the real reason for the war.Maybe he had no choice.Grandma Smith told a story of someone who ran away from the army and they came after him.I can't imagine what war is like.Would I run away or be brave and take a stand.Guess war is like a lot of other things,talking is easy but when it comes down to the nitty gritty can you back up your words.

Grandpa Haynes

Grandpa Haynes was on his death bed.I was 3 years old and living in Roanoke,Al.I remember him sitting at the kitchen table eating peaches and cream for breakfast.He was a tall slender man with gray hair and he always wore jeans or overalls with a white long sleeve shirt and brogan shoes.He had hunting dogs,2 females.I found puppies under a building in the yard but no one would believe me, the real reason was Grandpa had said for his dogs to be kept up so there would be no puppies.Being 3 years old I told everyone who would listen including Grandpa about the puppies.Finally someone took apart side of the building and retrieved the puppies.Before he died my Daddy and uncle Lavert would take him out to hear his dogs run one more time.I went also.In a chair on top of a coal pile they carried him,it was night and they let his dogs loose.That was the last time he went hunting.He had a great sense of humor and never met a stranger I have been told.Once at a mill where corn was ground into meal Grandpa and my uncle made me ride a billy goat.All I remember was being thrown off and loosing my shoe.Grandpa thought it was funny But Daddy wasn't so amused.One of his daughters asked him on his death bed"Pa who do you want to leave your car to"Grandpa answered "leave it to my girlfriend".About his car someone told him it was skipping and he said"yeah,skip on down the road".He was a moonshiner I have heard,one night he came home on a wagon with a sack full of money and a bullet wound to his face.A few days later at the breakfast table he spit out the bullet which had lodged in the roof of his mouth.I heard many tales about Grandpa and I loved him so.I lost him at 3 but he will always be in my memories.His name was Lee Anderson Haynes.

J.B.

J.B was his name,short for Jack Bernard.We met at age 10 at school and church.He was tall and skinny.J.B.had a lot of cool toys,a go cart I remember best.It turned over with me once coming dangerously close to the edge of a lake.Few inches closer I would have been upside down in the lake trapped because getting out of the go cart wasn't easy.But this is not what this story is about.We where 17 years old and word reached me that J.B. was dead.He had been accidentally shot while playing with a gun.Walking into his house looking down at him in his casket I realized life was precious and could be taken away at any time.This next part is the truth,not made up and I was wide awake.A few weeks later standing at the front door of my house looking out the screen door J.B. drove by,his old Chevy Impala made no noise at all.he just stared at me,his face white as cotton.I made a promise then that never would I forget J.B and would think of him daily.41 years have passed.I didn't keep my promise but J.B I still remember and think of you.

Pond

Making catfish bait at the table.Flour,lemon flavoring and water.Roll into balls.It never did work for me but it was worth a try.Maybe the creek I was fishing in had no fish.Fishing in the mill pond I did catch brim.Often I think maybe swimming in the old filty mill pond wasn't the smartest thing I've done.It was loaded with broken glass and filth.Summer evenings I would watch snakes,possibly cotton mouths slide and sliter out of the pond.The pond was a barrier of sorts,a division line.One side of the pond I lived wasn't so bad,but on the other side was where all the trouble was.I remember the guys from that side where straight out of the 50's.Leather jackets rolled up bluejean cuffs and white socks.My side the Beatles where a favorite over there Elvis ruled still.

Arnco

I didn't like Arnco.Didn't like the house,didn't like anything about it.We moved why I don't know.Got an idea though.I never made any friends there.Started working in the mill 1 day before my 16th birthday.I crawled under looms with an air hose blowing out the lint,filth and snuff and tobacco juice that people spit.I was working the third shift the night man landed on the Moon.During school I got to come in a little late for my second shift job of hauling yarn for the twister operators.That was what Mom did run twisters and Daddy was a fixer.The first paycheck I got was given to Momma.She would give me a few dollars out of it. I left for Florida. We drove straight through till arriving at Tampa.The beach and Gulf of Mexico didn't impress me.After a few hours of sleep back home we went.That first summer of working bought my school clothes.Jeans,couple pair of dress pants,solid color shirts that I can't remember what they where called.Then the biggie.Alligator skin tassel loafers also got a matching tri fold wallet.I was so OCD with the way I dressed.Shoes had to shine,jeans pressed,my socks where always dark blue or black and I always used a lint roller on them,never would you see lint on my socks.Even my t shirts where ironed.I rode to school with 2 other guys .We where the only ones on the village who went to Newnan High and not the county high school.Sure was glad when I got my own car.Yellow 65 Pontiac GTO,389 with a hurst 4 speed,black interior and red line tires.It would pin you back into the seat when you hot rodded it.A holy terror on the village I was with that car.Almost wrecked it one night,going pretty fast a car pulled out in front of me,hitting the brakes hard I was sliding sideways,how I manged not hitting a row of parked cars was a miracle.My favorite thing to do was slamming on the brakes and making 360 degree spins.I know for a fact the GTO would peg out the speedometer past 120.I just realized that an guardian Angel must have been with me at all times in that car

57 channels

Airplanes,space travel and phones.

Things that have been invented that we can't live without.Things my Grandparents could only dream about.

Computers,cell phones what would the world be without them.Cars that can parallel park them self.Cable TV,satellite TV.

I remember 3 channels of TV if you where lucky and you had to get up and walk over to the TV and change channels.

Momma said she heard as a kid that one day there would be radio that you could see.

It was my babysitter.

Saturday mornings you would find me sitting on the floor with my cereal watching the Indian test pattern waiting for another day of broadcast excellence.

Saturday mornings where filled with programs like Sky King,Fury,My Friend Flicka.Saturday night at 10 pm Gunsmoke came on,I would stand in front of the TV and try to out draw Matt Dillion.I never did.

Sunday night there was Walt Disney's Wonderful world of Color
,Bonanza and My Favorite Martian.

I was 3 when Grandpa Haynes bought a TV.A floor model with a built in record player,oh yeah it was a black and white set.If my memory is right programs came on late in the day.

News,Guiding Light and my program The Popeye Club with Officer Don.There was Queen For A Day and Dragnet which Grandma and me would watch at the Ramsey's each day before Grandpa bought one.Now there are 100's of channels on,24 hour stations,stations devoted to one theme.With my remote I can lay in bed and scan the world of TV and just like in that Bruce Springstien song 57 channels and nothing's on.

Coffee

My first cup of coffee of the day.I think it's a habit that can't be broken.Grandma Haynes started me out on coffee when I was 4 years old .We where living at Standing Rock,Alabama at the time.Coffee from a saucer and cornbread with scrambled eggs that was the breakfast she would cook and till this very day it's a favorite.I had no one for friends so my imagination and dog Lassie where my companions.Every time Uncle Lavert came by I would ask for a dog.He was a Policeman in Roanoke,and a favorite person of mine.I remember he took me rabbit hunting,the rabbit ran across the path in front of us,he hollered come back rabbit and it did.Rabbit was dead now and he made me tote the little thing back home.I remember holding the poor dead rabbit in my hands,still warm,so soft,it's little lifeless eyes starring at me.Coming down the steps of the old house I walked.The yard had no grass just white sand.At the foot of the steps I stopped.Good thing I did because coiled up just inches from me was a large rattlesnake,it's tongue flickering in out,sizing me up ready to strike.It's a wonder I didn't reach down and try picking the snake up but thankfully Daddy seen what was going on and quickly took care of the problem with a garden hoe.Lassie was a boy dog but what did I know at 4 years old.My favorite TV program was Lassie so that would be his name.Talk of friends we where best of.Where I went so did Lassie.Daddy came home from work ,reaching down to pick me up Lassie snapped at him.No one would mess with me when Lassie was by my side.I fell into a drainage ditch which had a bridge over it.Stunned,laying on the jagged hard rocks and red dirt Daddy drove over the bridge not hearing my cries for help.Just like in the movies or TV program Lassie took off home and brought back help.He was my protector and best friend.Railroad tracks where close to the front of the house.When I acted up Grandma Haynes would tell me that a Circus train had wrecked and Gorillas would get me.Terrified that would calm me down.I was already terrified of Giraffes,seeing them at the Roanoke show would always send me under the theater seats.So with all this said I think another cup of coffee is needed