You are gone

It’s just now started sinking in.

You are gone.

Friend,confident,lover.

Your life was one of tragedy.

Abandoned at birth raised by a woman you called Grandma who wasn’t any blood connection.

On your own at 17 living on the streets of Ohio.Eating out of dumpsters,sleeping in cars.

A forced abortion by family.Given a plane ticket to New York City alone you traveled fighting all the way till the end of baby Jonathan’s life who you loved and wanted.

I think, no ,I know that part of your life never left your presence.Till the end that guilt and pain was always with you.

Then the fire that took away your husband’s and brother’s life that October night.

Your two girls and son where your life.

What I will always remember about you was that smile.Each time I seen it you reminded me of a precious innocent little baby that I wanted to hold and protect.

You I’m thinking of tonight.

A life full of things not deserved.

How...

How can a person claim,own,sell something they did not create,conceive or build.

Talking about God's good green Earth.

I believe as the Native Americans.

We can't own the sky,rivers or the green grass we walk on.

Women on choppers

Women on choppers
Not messin with them
Women on choppers like to fight
Kick hit and bite

Women on choppers
Leave them be
Women on choppers
They are kinda cute to me

309

Sugar this morn was 309
But I feel fine
Lately high all the time
It's that good food I do dine

Tell all you meet
Even those you tweet
Don't give me treats
I'm to sweet

Earth tilted

It must have happened as we slept.

Did you noticed anything or what time it took place?

Was it a  phase shift of the Earth's axis that is playing havoc with my body?

I'm pretty sure that is the cause of my dilemma.

It slipped up on us like butter on popcorn.

Am I the only victim?

This tilting of my body the leaning to the right an involuntary motion that I have when laying in bed.

Well maybe it's not a phase shift of Earth's axis but a curving of my spine that is causing this awkward situation.

Mind wanders

On this cold Friday the last day of February my mind wanders to warmer days.

Out drawing Matt

A kid.
Saturday night around 10.
No matter how I tried.
Never could I out draw Mr. Dillon.

The moment we die

Shadows

Shadows on the wall
See all the time
Doesn't bother me at all
They friends of mine

Redheaded stepchild

Breakfast was great.One of those $5 types.

Thick sliced crispy bacon,fried egg,grits and a biscuit.

The type of breakfast us Southern boys grew up on.

All that was missing was crispy fried hash browns.

But I have a complaint.

Here at the old folks home renovations are being made in the kitchen.Think it is finished but have to wait on the Fire Marshall's inspection before being used.

So for the past week or so our food is coming from the hospital that owns this place.

My gripe.

The hospital sends over by chuck wagon this thick crispy old fashioned real honest to goodness bacon.

I love it!

When the kitchen here starts back up we will most likely get that thin fake chicken bacon.It will be a disappointment after that real bacon.

Is the hospital serving their patients and residents at the other old folks home they own this real bacon and we get the fake stuff?

Now I know how the redheaded stepchild at a family reunion feels like.

My name is

To some my name is John.

Some call me Johnny.

John Lee is another name.

I also answer to Pete...Momma sometimes called me this...Momma why you calling me Pete?...never an answer just a smile.

Pedro and Hoss Fly is what Daddy called me.

Gooney Bird was a childhood name...big ears looked like wings.

George is what a girlfriend called me...I was afraid to ask why.

Around the old folks home I answer to Joe,George,Big Head,J.B short for John the Baptist,Sugar and last but not least Sweet Cheeks.

Haynes is often mispronounced Hines or Hays but it's ok I know it's me you are calling.

Haynes(French for man with many names)is pronounced like Haines.

Yes I answer to many names.

If ever I'm blessed multiple personalities I have a name for each one!

Asked that question

I can’t say I’m not afraid of death.

But this I can say death is not dreaded.

People I think fear the unknown,change,not being in control.

We have a hard time letting go of life,the ones we don’t won’t to leave behind,possessions that keep us earth bound,material things.

I will admit death confuses me.

The Bible said “THE DEAD KNOW NOTHING and DEATH IS LIKE A DEEP SLEEP”,in the grave we stay till the return of Jesus.

Others say at the moment of death our spirit or soul leaves the body and goes on for it’s final judgment.

Oh how wonderful it would have been if Lazarus had wrote of his death,what it was like.

I’m sure in his time he was asked that question.

That game

Watergate
Kent State
People crying
People dying

Peace sign
Vietnam
Race war
Government lying

Burn baby burn
Malcolm X
JFK MLK RFK
What we learn

Black Panthers
KKK
Everyone wishing

Just go away

1960'S
I was there
Free love
Long hair

Nothing has changed
Still same
Everyone playing
That game

Nothing imitation

Good no excellent breakfast past two days.

Real not that chicken imitation bacon,thick sliced and crispy,fried egg,grits and a biscuit.

The kitchen here is being renovated and all meals are coming from WGMC the hospital that owns this old folks home.

Lunch and supper always come from there with breakfast made here.

Wonder if they serve that good bacon all the time at the hospital?

Full moon survival

Made it through the full moon around the old folks home without incident.

Far as I know anyway.

Did hear someone calling for help then somebody a nurse I think screaming 911 911.

Full moons can be interesting around here.

The zombies come out.

They walk the floor endless the term is called sun downing.

I know that term well,my Mom suffered from dementia and let the sun set and agitated she got.

Update

Room 31 update.

Room renovations complete.

New green shag carpet is down and the maroon painted walls drying as I speak.

The mirrored ceiling and glass revolving disco ball add atmosphere to our humble abode.

A new microwave/Mr Coffee maker/fridge combo sure makes it convenient here in 31.

By the way Orville Redenbacher is the official popcorn of room 31.

Those 60 inch hi def TV's mounted above the ceiling of each bed is what the kids call"the bomb".

As I soak in the giant hot tub sipping on a margarita eating a taco the view of the Atlantic ocean takes me back to my sea faring days but that is another story for another day.

Stay tuned for more exciting room 31 update.

Blame this guy

Hello friend.

Yes you sitting there on your computer.

How is your day going so far?

Does it feel like the butter has slipped off your biscuit?

Is it going to be one of "those days".

Where nothing goes as planned.

The faster you go the farther you get behind kind of day.

A day that even jogging in a jar(prune juice)is about as exciting it's going to be.

A day when the bird of paradise finally flys over your head and...you know.

Even your dog won't socialize with you.

I have the perfect person to blame your troubles on.

Yes.

That cute little guy from those Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Guessed who yet?

This guy.

The big one

Snow,ice,and now an earthquake felt in Georgia around 2 am Saturday morning.

I've always heard Georgia is on a fault line and a big earthquake is way over due.

As Fred Sandford would say..."This is the big one Elizabeth".

Pssst

Pity party time at the old folks home.

Complaining about your life and situation only turns people off.

Pssst...Cheer up...think positive.

Dude!

Dude!
It's 2014...where's my flying car?

Redneck romantic rhyme

Your Valentine poem
Just for youse
Youse I loves
Really I doose

Sticking to you
Like a bugger on fanger
Me loves youse
Mo than my Ford Ranger

Get in da truck
I'm a big spender
Off to the Krystal we go
Now this is romantic don't you know

All dressed up
Jeans and flip flops
Your best T shirt
The one stained by pork chops

I might shave
Might wear socks
Promise you I'll
Try to behave

Youse kinda pretty
Little bit smart
Those six fingers those six toes
It don't matter no one knows

I've said a little
Maybe a lot
I loves youse
Here have my tater tots

My spell checker going wacky
Wonder why
Yeah I know
My poem be tacky

But I loves youse
Telling you true
Now tells me
Don't youse loves me to

Blessed

Blessed this morning...ice storm missed LaGrange/Troup County...someone brought me pinto beans and cornbread for my lunch...very blessed.

Looking back

In that 70's mood
Things from the past
It was a blast
Yes feeling the groove

Those pointed collar shirts
Baggy pants
Platform shoes
Those crazy rants

Hair
Shags be the style
Really glad
The 70's lasted only awhile

Now I'm old
No more being 23
Fun looking back
Memories so good for me

Don't laugh,don't judge

Listen!

Hear it?

The trigger of a big gun being slowly pulled.

We are under the gun as in the old saying.

Talking about the weather.Ice,snow is being predicted for the great state of Georgia.

After the fiasco of two weeks ago no chances are being taken.Schools in northern part of the state are already closed and it's only raining and above freezing right now.

Snow is one thing but ice storms are another.They are no fun.

Heard on the news about the snow storm of a couple weeks ago people up north were in awe how it was handled down here in Georgia.

What you have to remember is this,snow is so rare here we are not equipped for it.Maybe up in the mountains of Georgia they have snow plows and such but not around here.About the only thing that is done around here in these snow/ice events is bridges and over passes are salted down,that is all.

100 degrees summer temps with 95 % humidity,floods,earthquakes,tornadoes and hurricanes we deal with cause the South is use to them.

Snow/ice we are not.

So don't laugh,don't judge.

We didn't when 900 plus people died in Chicago a few years ago during a heat wave one summer.

Real versus fake

Real versus fake.

Real wins every time.

This morning for breakfast I got the real stuff...bacon not that stuff called chicken bacon.

Thick,crispy I almost wanted to call it strick-o-lean.

Same way with sausage real is what I like and want not that turkey or chicken substitute supposed to be healthy for us stuff.

One day in the future a study will be made and the results will be this turkey and chicken this and that is what's killing folks.All those baby chickens and little gobblers being pumped with hormones and steroids so they grow faster can't be good for us humans.

Look at it this way would you rather have a real diamond or one of those cubic zircoinas ?

Ready

The ground hog may say 6 more weeks of winter but the little birdies say spring is near.

Two pairs of different breed birds have been fluttering outside my window and chirping up a storm.

They are ready!

I'm a bad man

Drama drama drama.

A grown man,same age as me,acting like a spoiled little boy.

Watching TV yesterday and it wasn't on his channel and moan and groan he did.

Seems for once he didn't have control all day of the remote.

People where watching other things beside replays of women's basketball that we bare because he likes it and might I add most of the time he is asleep holding the remote.

I know I'm a bad man but him being denied control of the remote I enjoyed.

I half way expected him to bust out crying,he does that a lot really if life doesn't go the way he wants.

He couldn't take it and finally just took the remote and watched his program without asking please,may I,or do you mind.

Watching him squirm was fun!

Yes I'm a bad man.

Explained

Listening to a rebroadcast of Dreamland with Art Bell I think the time for me to explain things about me has come.

Some call me Big Head John Haynes.

Maybe just maybe the reason for my Big Head can now be told.

Are you sitting down earthling?

Yes you earthling!

Have you seen me at places walking lately and you thought it was just a dream?

Do you wonder if there is just a little something strange about ole Big Head?

Do you at times think you see me glowing a crab apple green?

Does a chill run down your spine when you enter room 31?

Do you wonder why I like tomato soup so much?

Do you wonder why I have that blank no expression look when Walker Texas Ranger is playing on the TV?

Why do we have chicken so much on the menu oh sorry my mind is starting to wander.

Yes earthlings these questions I  can't answer and I can't figure out how to end this story so pick from the following endings:

1.Big Head is bored and just passing time.

2.Big Head has finally slipped off his rocker.

3.You are wondering why you're reading this haven't you got better things to do
don't you know life is short?

4.Pick #3 it sounds about right.

5.Ok if you think this is easy you make up an ending yeah it ain't that easy is it?

Drift off

Laying here today I thought why go on.It would be easier just saying enough of this leave me alone and go to sleep.

Drift off into the unknown.

Being a big chicken keeps you from doing a lot of things.

Braver facing the situation people say.

That really means you're scared as Hati of what comes next.

Weird strange disturbing

Weird strange disturbing dreams past few nights.

Dead people snakes stuff like that.

What it means who knows and I'm not really concerned.

Was nice visiting with those that have passed on.

Didn't like the snake dream a bit.

I have always heard when you dream about snakes it means you have enemies.

Dang thang bit me in my dream.

Prayer of the pitiful

I write about what I know,see and hear.

99% of it is true.

Sometimes just like Hollywood things are added to the story just to make it interesting.

Today is a true nothing added story.

Listening to one of my roomies pray yesterday.

Prayer of the pitiful I call it.In this prayer there was no praise or thankfulness.Just a prayer of what was going bad in their life.

I thought to myself does the Lord really hear these prayers or does he just ignore them.

Please can't you just be a little thankful for something a blessing that has been bestowed upon you.

Negative thoughts and self pity are a waste of time.Be positive.Be thankful.Be joyous.Appreciate what others do for you.

Nobody gets through this life without disappointments.You are not alone with setbacks and suffering.

Give thanks for what is good in your life.

Random ramblings

Thankful for headphones.

One of my roomies must be over medicated.He repeats the same thing over and over all last night.A broken record.

5 degrees as this is being wrote.

Guess what?

City truck with a load of sand showed up a day late and dollar short as in the old saying.

The driveway here is clear of ice since yesterday.

Atlanta mayor getting flack about not being prepared for snow bowl 2014.So is the governor.

Will they take responsibility or pass the buck?

Ms Ruby stayed over at the old folks home Tuesday night so us residents would have hot food.Thank you! 

Hard day

After a long hard day of life this is what I need!

Old folks home

The sounds,smells,attitudes of some people at the old folks home you get use to.

Sounds of grown people in their second childhood,crying,pouting,confused and just very pitiful.

The smells you can only guess.But what can you do.What peeves me off is not the smells but the attitude of some who work here.I'm sure they don't pee perfume and I bet their s... does stink also.So enough of the holier than thou mind set.

I must say in fairness some of the best people ever work here.I tell the CNA's daily how much I appreciate them.Without them I would be up that creek without a paddle.

Some should not be here.This is a job where you have to be compassionate to people and if your heart is not in the job you should not be working here.

This is how I see life at the old folks home.

My father's son

I am
My father's son
Now I understand
Things you said and done

I am
Just like you
In the way
I think and do

Drill

I see snow
The drill you know
Off to the stoe
We better go

Closed

Room 31 will be closed for business Tuesday and Wednesday because of snow.

Mr B,Wille,Paul and me can be found at Callaway Monument sliding down the big hill in our pasteboard boxes.

Paul has been elected as room 31 spokesman because he has a way with words.

Please direct all inquires to Paul.

Room 31 thanks you in advance.

Reason escapes me

I want to go home!

That's what a new resident said today.

A lady about my age I will guess.

A feeling of sadness like a damp blanket covered me.She was lost,not knowing where she was or why.

I noticed her a few days ago and at first thought she was a visitor till I noticed a bracelet on her arm that locks doors automatically if you try opening them.

Dementia is a cruel disease.

Several here are in the different stages of it.

My Mom suffered with it for years.

God there must be a purpose for this and all other suffering but that reason why escapes me.

Crossed eyed

These folks using those blue tooth gadgets talking on their phone confuse me.

Are they talking to me,someone else or themselves?

It could be me they are talking to so I better listen,no it's someone else and I'm being rude listening,no they are just crazy people talking to themselves quick hide from them.

I had a crossed eyed boss years ago.

Same thing.

Often I wondered who he was talking to.

Dial up

I always knew this day would come.

It has happened.

I am old.

My brain is like dial up internet in a DSL world.

Thinking fast is a thing of the past for me.Sometimes I see and hear in slo mo.Names are my biggest problem.Can't get them out fast enough.But give me time the name will come to me.

Thirsty

Laying here in bed last night,the call button system out,that's how us residents let the Nurses and Cna's know something is needed,my mouth felt like cotton.I had been eating honey roasted sunflower seeds and I was thirsty for a drink of water and my container was empty.

Dozing off thirsty thinking how a sip of water would be so wonderful.

Around midnight I woke up and reaching for my container it was still empty and I was even more thirsty.

Dozing off again but not for very long and I made a bad choice a few more handfuls of sunflower seeds I snacked on.

Awake,thirsty staring at my water container in the dark room lit by the street lights through the open window I seen it.

Ice in the water container!

Cold delicious refreshing life saving water.

My life was good again.

Thank you unknown life saver for that cool drink of water.

You

You are the smell of honeysuckle in spring
You are the smell of burning leaves in fall
You are the cool breeze on a summer's day
You are the howling wind on a winters's night

Proof

I watched with interest this week on TV as Atlanta mayor Kasim Reed and several other dignitaries where at a ground breaking for something or another.

Shovels in hand they lifted them in sync.

The dignitaries got it right.Into the hole their dirt went.

But a different outcome for the mayor.

His shovel was turned sideways and his load of dirt just slipped off.

Might have been proof the mayor never used a shovel before or did anything or any kind of real work.

Going to the show

Kids my generation called it going to the show.

Most of the time those movie trailers where better than the movie.

Remember standing outside the show with your friends looking at the movie posters saying"I wanna see that?

How can...

Slaw dog and tater chips for lunch.

How can I  convince someone to sneak out and get me a vanilla milkshake?

Full moon strikes

Full moon strikes the old folks home.

Supper time last night was entertaining.

I heard someone growling like a dog.No I didn't turn around to see who or maybe what it was.

Another resident fussing and cussing another because he thinks other resident has moved into his home.It got loud for a bit.

Nurses walking around praying "Lord help me Jesus".

Another nurse said I'm not going to medicate that woman I'm going to medicate myself.

Just another full moon around the home.

More politicians like this man needed.People before party line.

Visit to hospital prompts lawmaker to back medical marijuana

Oh I think...

New year same old politics.

Shame on you Republicans in the Senate.

They voted not to extend long term unemployment benefits for USA citizens out of work.

What is it with these people?

Oh I think I understand.

No help for our citizens because banks and big business might need that spare cash laying around.

Seen a poll that 55% of the American citizens approve of extending benefits 34% don't favor  it.

I guess that 34% must have a job.

What

CNN asks if Duck Dynasty scandal will help or hurt show?

Uhhh...what scandal?

Blank

Nothing to write about.

Same ole thing in politics.

NJ governor caught up in George Washington Bridge gate.Maybe it should be caller Revenge gate.That's all it boils down to.Governor mad at mayor for non support in his Presidential campaign.One Lady did die because of all this silliness.Charges for that in my humble opinion.

Republicans desperate.Saying NJ governor not as bad as President and Hillary.

Rodman in Korea running his mouth.His good friend is Kim Something Whatever or as I call him Crazy Little Fat boy the one who had his Uncle executed.Nice kid huh.

Weather.Everybody got some.

Food.Chicken everyday some sort or fashion or another.

I'm just blank on what is interesting to write about.

I had a view

Two years ago today I was wheeled into this place called Twin Fountains Home.

It was a Wednesday about 5 PM,cold and looked like it would start snowing any minute.

The ride from the hospital wasn't long enough for me.

Thinking my life was over,depressed I was.

Down to room 31 and the first thing noticed was a big over sized window right next to my bed.

I had a view!

A lot of things  in the past two years have changed.

People that where in my life some have passed on and will be missed.

I have adjusted pretty good to this new environment I think.

Don't get me wrong I sure would love being back in my home looking after myself but I've accepted that's not possible.

There is a difference

Black folks church white folks church.

There is a difference.

I watch blacks folks having church on TV and I get so inspired.The music is soulful and people get the spirit when praising the Lord.

White folks might say amen every once in awhile but we are not into it like black folks.They are having fun.

Then there is that other thing.

Drive by black folks church on Sunday and they are still there at 5 pm.They have church all day.

White folks make sure that there is a clock at the exit door and the preacher can see it.

At 12 noon church better be over cause us white folks done got hungry.

The Lord may be talking to our soul but Burger King and McDonalds is talking to our belly.

This song makes me ...hungry

Lie

Homer Simpson lie...not everyone likes chicken.

Hate it

Well the title of my last post was Love it!

Title of this one will be Hate it!

Ranger Texas Jr rolls into the room and proceeds to turn his rap box on loud and rolls on out.

That's about as rude and inconsiderate as grabbing the TV remote without asking please may I and changing channel to some women's basketball game or the same ole program we all have seen over and over so he can tell everyone what's going to happen next.

Thank goodness I have headphones and can drown out this silliness at night.

Funny thing is he is dead asleep soon as his head hits the bed.

Hate it!

Love it

No big surprise.

Snow was a no show.

Never is snow predicted here and it happens.

It just sneaks up on us when least expected.

One thing is guaranteed.

Mention snow and everyone makes that grocery store run for milk and bread.

Snow in Georgia.

Love it!

No waiting

One thing we all have in common.

Each of us will face this sooner or later.

Death.

Some will die young others old.

I believe what the Bible and Jesus said about death.

Death is like a deep sleep.

In the grave we will stay till Jesus returns and meet him in the sky.

This is what bothers me about the whole situation.

I hope when death visits me and I'm in the grave please let the resurrection be quick.

I don't want to spend days,years,centuries in the grave.

The ideal thing would be like my Aunt Pauline use to say she wanted to live till the Rapture.

I agree with her.

No waiting.

Told you

I told you I'm not smart.

But common sense I have.

All this turkey this turkey that,baked and broiled meats,steamed carrots with broccoli etc is not the only way to eat healthy.

So go out and get yourself a Big Mac and large fries!

What it means

Low fluffy clouds moving in
Flocks of birds flying I've never seen
Bet it's going to snow
Yeah that's what it means

Monkey see monkey do

I was watching TV yesterday and a commercial for tacos came on.

These yuppie tree climber broccoli eating types riding their bicycles were rushing to this taco stand for what they exclaimed was the best thing since sunlight on a dreary dark day.

Turkey tacos.

Yes my fellow fat boys they done gone and ruined a good thing.Turkey in tacos of all things.

Now all the sheep of the world will follow suit and no more beef in tacos will be allowed.

Folks that was a commercial and those people were being paid to say those things about turkey in tacos and it was the people that raise turkeys paying for all that propaganda.

It's not true that turkey tacos are refreshing and healthy they are trying to fool you my friend.

Think for yourself free thinkers of the world think.

Don't be monkey see monkey do.

A willing subject

It has started again.

My face is blotched up and stinging like I fell in a bed of fire ants.

Nobody knows why this happens every so often.

Tomato soup?Spicy foods?Laundry detergent?

Who knows.

But.

I may have an answer a far fetched answer that is just as reasonable as any other.

Aliens.

Yes those pesky invaders from another time and dimension.

I did have a dream or was it in fact a reality a few days ago.

Awaken late one night by someone whistling" I'm a Rambling Wreck From Georgia Tech And a Heck Of an Engineer"there it stood at the foot of my bed.

A little gray alien.

I kid you not.

Her name was Henryetta(it was stamped on her belt buckle).

Henryetta spoke up saying" hi there earthling"then shot me with what I think was a laser pistol.

I think this laser pistol was a device to make me a willing subject.

Off I was whisked to a waiting space ship way way up in the sky.

I think things were done to me but maybe that was just wishful thinking.Not really sure of that at all.

All I can really be sure of is after the tests done on me they did give me a snack of cold chicken legs and potato salad.

Seems I can't get away from chicken even when abducted by little gray aliens.

Now back to that laser pistol Henryetta shoots me with.

In my humble opinion that is the cause of my face blotching up.

I am under the influence benadryl as this is being wrote so use your on judgement if any of this is true.

Explain

Explain this to me.

Why is it when someone quotes what the Bible said to be true they are ridiculed and when someone"comes out"with something that the Bible condemns they are touted as heroes?

There is right and wrong.

There is light and dark.

There is no in between.

Duty calls

Poor little things.

Never had a chance to grow up,get a job,fall in love,marry and raise little chickens of their own.

Talking about these little chicken legs we had for supper

Guess duty called and those little chickens joined the Colonel's army.

New way of doing things

It's so 2013 to own a cell phone.

Gone are the days that everyone had this little hand held Star Trek communicators that we cuddled like our new born child.

Every woken moment is spent checking for missed calls,emails and Facebook updates from our friends.

This texting thing got out of control back in 2013.

People driving,walking while texting.I'm so glad that was just a fad of the past.For awhile I just knew our DNA would be mutated and the need for vocal cords would be like now not needing the hairy bodies of our caveman ancestors cause they figured out they could buy warm clothes at Walmart.

Yes no need for cell phones in the year 2014.

The folks that still have and use that old technology risk being called nerds.

Welcome to 2014 and a new way of doing things!

Easily irked

Forgive me Lord but on this last day of 2013 I find myself easily irked.

Didn't see’em but sure did hear’em a visitor down the hall.

Loud talking and using that word that peeves me off every time I hear it spoke.

The H word.

Each time the H word was spoken by loud talking visitor I quenched in agony as if I had been stabbed in the back with a sharp #2 yellow pencil.

Sometimes I think the visitors and residents have the situation switched if you know what I’m talking about.

Back to the H word for some reason it always makes me cringe.

That word is…HUH!…spoken after every question they are asked.

Turn up the volume on your hearing aid or do as George Bush 1 said"read my lips".

Yes Lord forgive me for being so trivial.

Wait I must confess!

I caught myself using said dreaded word.

I'm a hypocrite.

For you elderly people reading this you might remember Emily Litella(Gilda Radner) from SNL who always got things confused and would say "never mind".

As she said...never mind.

It's a job

Black eyed peas
Some collard greens
Cornbread mashed potatoes
Know what'a mean

Hot apple pie
Smothered with butter
Sweet iced tea
Made like Mother's

Corn on cob
Battered fried okra
Cooking all this
It's a job

Congealed green salad
Sliced pear halves
Mayo cheese cherry
Makes me merry

Fruit cake delight
Made with rum
Nuts jellied candy
That's a sight

Made myself hungry
Hope you to
Guess I'm through
Happy New Year's you

What....

What was thatttt!

Maybe I don't want to know.

A blood curling scream of pain or terror coming from the pine tree thicket.

Animal?Human?Or?

You go look.

I don't want to end up as a snack for some unknown creature.

There look I see it!

Never mind.

It's just some of my Haynes kin folk from the hills of Alabama coming for a visit.

2014 I shall...

New Year Resolutions:
1.Don't cuss Walker Texas Jr. silently when he rudely takes control of the TV.
2.Don't cuss Walker Texas Jr. silently when he fusses with the old folks who can't find their room.
3.Don't cuss Walker Texas Jr. silently when he turns his radio on full blast at night.
4.Send WGN TV a thank you email for changing the time they show Walker Texas Ranger...I won't be up that early and will miss it yesssss!
5.Learn to like chicken,chicken legs baked,chicken legs fried,chicken pot pie,chicken goulash for lack of a better word,chicken legs smothered in gravy least I think it's gravy.
6.Steamed carrots and broccoli ...no way Hosea ain't touching that stuff.
7.Take up smoking and drinking.
8.Just testing if you are paying attention with #7.
9.Try being a cool person instead of the redneck I am.
10.Last but not least tell you happy 2014 and I love you!

Why the chicken crossed the road

Someone must have invested in chicken and carrots heavy at WGHS.

For 8 days chicken was on the menu in some sort of way or fashion.

Carrots,steamed carrots are served almost daily.They get creative on how they are served.Sometimes you have to look for them cause they are hid but carrots will be there.

Wish I had not read my breakfast menu.

There it was in black and white.

Chicken bacon.

So that's why the chicken crossed the road.

To get off the menu at WGHS!

Understand now

Oh I understand now.

You can express your opinion but I can only do the same if you agree with me.

Thanks for the explanation.

Surprise

It’s true.

Careful what you wish for.

This morning thinking that sausage with my biscuit would be a nice change for breakfast.

As Gomer Pyle would say “surprise surprise surprise”.

The sausage patty I got.

But no biscuit.

Learn to use a broom

Hungry kid?

Want something to eat at school?

Can't pay for your school meal you say?

Here is a broom sweep the floors for that free meal.

That's what a Georgia Republican congressman wants those po youngins to do.

Shame shame shame.

Why are you Republicans dead set on hurting the people who can least afford it?

Grandma,Grandpa scare them by saying they are going to lose their Social Security that they worked for,the kid down the street who is hungry cut those food stamps,your neighbor who is disabled deny their disability,veterans who you lie to about how they will be took care of for the sacrifice they made for this great country. Yeah those are the folks you pick on.To you they don't matter.

Let's give taxpayer money away to those countries that could care less about us or bail General Motors and Chrysler's out along with big banks.Those are the people you Mr and Ms politician work for.

So Mr and Ms politician here's your broom if voters have any sense you will be needing it on your next job.

I'm not mad just ashamed.

Sometimes

A bird,alone,flying one direction,turning and flying the way it came.

Lost it seemed.

I get that feeling sometimes.

Some people

Some people make me feel........ normal.

Yes Mr B there is a Santa

Mr B one of my roomies,96 years old,blind,paralyzed from a stroke
and myself were talking this morning about Christmas.

One more week Mr B till Christmas .

He was reminiscing about Christmas past when he was a boy.I got tennis shoes,hats,apples and oranges back then he said.

Those were the good Christmases.

Then there was when his Dad died on Christmas day in 1951.

Those were the sad Christmases.

Santa will never come see me again Mr B told me this morning.

Never say never Mr B.

Santa did come around tonight,all fat and jolly in his red suit saying ho ho ho and Mr B did get to see Santa one more time.

Here's to many more Mr B !

Ashamed

I'm ashamed.

Ashamed of my fellow human beings this morning.

Ashamed of the way they talk to people with obvious dementia.

If you are having a bad day or don't have the paientence for the job please make it more pleasant for us,them and just move along.

Light in the sky

This morning laying here in bed I was awaken by the flashing strobe light of a Troup County school bus at the bus stop in front of my window.

7 am every morning like clock work it stops.

But that wasn't the light that got my attention.

In my groggy eyes I seen another bright light a street light I thought but thinking to myself there is no street light.

Big and moving in the western sky slow sleepy me figured it out.

A full moon.

Beautiful.

Hey

Santa said hey ya'll !

Hunting

A hunting we go...hunting we go...hi o the merry o a hunting we go.

Seems there is a new creature out there a flying one that people are hunting.

Have you heard about this crusader in the air thing?

If you shoot one down be prepared maybe for federal prosecution.

I bet these winged things ain't the best of eating but a new law written by a citizen wants hunters to be able to keep body parts of the downed creatures.

But some of the parts you can't keep I  guess for safety reasons.

Can you guess what winged flying creature thing I'm talking about?

Drones.

Yes those drones the government is flying around in our neighborhoods for what reason I can't say.

Maybe it's that bear in the air eye in the sky thing like CW McCall sung about in that song Convoy.

What ever the reason them drones flying around I  guess it's for the best.Protecting us from something I'm sure.

Just be careful when hunting drones,unlike deer,they can shoot back.

It wasn't communion

Laying here breathing like a puppy dog who is mad at something.That is what it sounds like growling.

Something is going through the old folks home.

Lot's are coming down with it.

I'm just about over my little escapade of it.

It started Tuesday night after my shower.Sleep was impossible and when morning came around I knew it was here.

Scratchy throat,coughing and sneezing.

Another sleepless night then Thursday I started on that awful tasting cough syrup and each time the nurse brought it around in that little shot glass it looked liked wine and I wanted to ask for crackers cause I thought it was communion we where going to have.

Guess it worked but on Friday I threw up a couple times after breaking out in a cold sweat after drinking that stuff so no more of that I took.

Saturday was good sorta Sunday better so I'm good thank you.

Friday you know I was feeling bad because I sent supper back just thinking of food made me queasy.

So there you have my weekend and I sure hope that bug skips you and yours this Holiday season.

Rain

Rain all day
Fall it may
But for me
It is okay

Conspiracy

Why had I not thought of this before...the reason chicken is on the menu so much...a cow conspiracy.

Everyone knows except Mikey

I see where they messed up.

Watching a movie about a family that is having a bit of bad luck.

The house!

It was that multi story old house sitting on a hill out in an isolated area.

Anyone who has ever seen a horror movie knows a place like that has to be evil.No need for the sound effects of rain,thunder and howling dogs to warn you.

I have always been wary of any house with an attic or basement.

Everyone knows that's where the bad things happen.

Send Mikey down into the dark,musty damp basement.We all know something is hiding,waiting and is going to have Mikey for a snack.

Why hasn't somebody taken a little time out of their busy life and taught Mikey to never go down into the basement?

Memory still stings

A small for his age shy super sensitive to words spoken little boy unsure of everything.

Me.

That describes my life as a kid.

I think every unkind mean spirited word ever spoken to me is stored in my memory for easy recall.

Why are they saying these things I wondered.

Am I that bad?

During this Christmas season I remember one 55 years or so ago.Grownups who had boys my age told me that Santa wasn't coming to see me because I didn't get a letter from Santa like their boys.

Over the years I've wondered what was the purpose in saying that to a little kid.

If they wanted to hurt me they succeeded.

The memory of that still stings.

Walk away

Just walk away
People places things
All the trouble
They do bring

Thank God

Watching documentary about WW2...we might think our lives are not so rosy...least no Nazi concentration camp for us...thank God.

Ba Hum Bug part 2

Not seeing many people with the Christmas spirit.

$6,100

Just heard a Toyota dealership bragging they had 15 Toyota's under $15,000.

I could have bought almost 3 Firebirds for that price back in 1976.Mine cost $6,100.

Scroouge lives

Even I couldn't make this up!

A Republican Governor wants parents to skip buying Christmas presents for their kids this year and send that money to him for his re election campaign.

I always knew some politicians where greedy but seems this guy has Scroougness down pat.

Ba Hum Bug!

See things clearly

I just knew it.

If I lived long enough this day would come.

Heard on an international news agency which will remain nameless this report that makes my heart flutter and skip a beat(no it's not that angina thing acting up) with excitement.

Fried foods like taters, chicken and burgers are good for you.Seems there was a error in this cholesterol scare of the past few years.Cholesterol it seems we need and is good for us.In fact the American people aren't getting enough grease in their diet.

And this diabetic thing is just a ho- ax as Lewis Grizzard would say.We be sweet is ok.Eat more Snickers and Zag Nut candy bars.

Phooey on salads,broccoli and cauliflower.I had the suspicion that healthy eating stuff was just a Communist plot to kill us all anyway.

As I lay here in a no jog mode smoking a cigar working on my second bottle of Jim Beam eating my 4th corn dog I see things so clearly now(well it was clear before I started on the second bottle of Jim).

Yes my fat out of shape Brothers of the round counter stool at Krystal eat a few for me and while we being healthy chili cheese fries sound good but don't forget my diet Dr Pepper don't want to overdo this healthy eating thing.

Sleep

Sleep
My friend
Come soon
Again

Sinner I be

I'm a hypocrite
Sinner I be
Jesus knows me
This is true

I slip fall
From His grace
God does see
Everything and all

Show mercy Lord
You know heart
By your blood
I've been bought

Maybe they are

Something about this just don't feel right.

People on Facebook posting these little things that say share if you love God and Jesus and if you don't something bad will happen to you.I haven't looked but I'm pretty sure God and Jesus are a bit busy with world peace,starving children and helping sick people than worrying about how many likes on Facebook they get.

If they did have a Facebook page I would be there right now instead of wasting my and your time here.

Come to think of it maybe they are on Facebook.

But it's called the Bible.

Are you Southern...

Are you Southern...
Do you drink sweet ice tea through a straw?
Do you eat chicken with a fork?
When thinking of BBQ is it pork only?
Bet you're an Auburn fan now?
It's breakfast dinner and supper right?
Ever sup coffee from a saucer?
Know what Ga Lee means?
Who Minnie Pearl was?
Color of Richard Petty's race car?
What where the Atlanta Crackers?
Know who Bestoink Dooley is?
Officer Don?
Uwee gooey?
3?
Grits or oatmeal?
Know where the Grand Ole Opry is?
Redneck Rivera?
Ever ate a Plum Granny?
Fireworks in Georgia are banned but firing your AR 15 into air on holidays is legal?
Go War Eagles right?

Believe in you

Santa what I want
Big ole Harley
Low fast loud
Stick out in the crowd

Make mine black
Need that sissy seat
That'a be cool
Really sweet

Those black boots
Motorcycle jacket to
Wrote on back
Jesus loves you

Come on Santa
This all ask
You can do
Still believe in you

Bust your bubble

Rudolph the reindeer
Nose so red
Doing that smack
Wonder ain't dead

Frosty the snowman
Melting away
He strung out
Most of day

Old Saint Nick
Working them elves
Treat'em like slaves
He so sick

Had to do
Bust your bubble
Everything I said
It be true

Learn my name

They never know your name
Buddy pal friend
Fake put on
Think a shame

Take the time
Learn my name
Buddy pal friend
It's John Lee Haynes

Oh so sound

Take me away
Into great beyond
When trials troubles
On earth done

Up in sky
Where I be
Rest at last
Want for me

Lay me down
Body of mine
Sleep in peace
Oh so sound

24

24 more days of this.

O woes

O woes is me
Lunch was a bust
Know should be thankful
But burger fries I lust

Chicken something with gravy
Dressing on side
Hard as I tried
That broccoli couldn't hide

A Big Bufford from Checkers
Onion rings
My mouth waters
Thinking of them things

Make it I will
Worry me not
Make it to supper
Pintos me will fill